Are you dreaming about Lt Matthew Casey?
by Today.Is.Life
Summary: Gabriela Dawson, hopelessly in love with Matthew Casey. Matthew Casey, hopelessly in love with Gabriela Dawson. The problem? Each other. Dawson/Casey paring. Will be M. All other characters included too.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, so this is something that I've been working on for a while and it's kinda progressed. Just wanted to see if anyone would be interested in reading. **

**So it started out pretty lighthearted and right now, it's getting more serious, so if that's not your thing...**

**Oh, and Gabby and Mills are not together, just friends okay?**

**And this is an M rated story, so you have been warned. **

**Hope you enjoy, would love your feedback and any ideas/suggestions you may have!**

**oxox**

* * *

I was halfway through 'The Italian Job' and a tub of Ben and Jerry's when someone knocks the door with some eagerness. Pausing the film and leaving my beloved ice cream behind, I answer the door and to say I was surprised was an understatement.

Matthew Casey was standing in my doorway wearing dark jeans, a tight black t-shirt and a brown leather jacket. His eyes are filled with animalistic passion and his chest rises and falls quickly.

"Gabby," he moans as he throws himself at me, his wet plump lips colliding with mine. I groan against his expert lips as he lifts me up and wraps my legs around his hips. My heat touching his hardness. I yelp in pleasure as he slams the door and pushes me against it, grinding his manhood on my wet core.

His lips ravish mine, taking me for his own and I am willingly his. His tongue runs over my lips asking for entrance which I grant, and I melt when his tongue dances with mine.

"You taste like ice cream," he murmurs huskily against my lips and he takes the opportunity to pull off my t-shirt. I return the favour, running my hands over the hard plains of his warm body.

"Matt, oh god," I cry, the breath catching in my throat as his strong hands clasp over my perky bare breasts. As he massages my breasts, his lips take to leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses all along my neck and collar-bone. I shiver at his touch.

Somehow, we end up on my bed and as Matt climbs over me, his hands find the button of my jeans and he glides them down my legs gently.

His cock pushes against my heat and I cry out his name in ecstasy, his chuckles, continuing to place big wet kisses all over my body.

As he kisses my cheek, he whispers "I love you," in my ear and I melt. I kiss his lips, hoping to show that I loved him too.

His hand trails teasingly down my tense stomach and towards my heat. His fingers pull back the flimsy material of my panties and...

**"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"**

My alarm wakes me from my dream, my sexy steamy dream. With Matthew Casey. My sexy, hot, steamy Matthew Casey. _Dream._

My alarm had a knack of doing that, waking me up at the most inconvenient of moments; maybe I was lucky it did, considering the state I was in. My hair was messy and wild, my cheeks flushed red, my eyes wide with lust, my heart was beating rapidly and my chest was panting with pleasure.

_Oh Matthew Casey, what are you doing to me?_

I throw myself out of bed, checking once just to be sure it wasn't a dream, but unfortunately it was. I sigh, running into the bathroom for a well needed cold shower. As the cool water hits my skin I relax and calm.

What was this? I'd never really dreamt of Matt like this before, but since his break up with Hallie... Oh great, my subconscious has realized that the gorgeous Lieutenant is now single and is formulating crazy dreams of us 'getting it on.'

_But it's not as if that wasn't what I wanted._

For the years I'd worked with Matt and become his friend, his best friend, I'd fallen in love in him. Fallen in love with his handsome face and body, but his handsome heart. He was warm, caring, fair, kind-hearted, generous, helpful, strong, independent, wonderful, courageous, brave, beautiful, sexy, hot...had an absolutely amazing physique.

He was simply amazing.

But for those years he was with Hallie, they both seemed very much in love with one other. I wasn't going to get in the way or ruin things for them, so I kept my feelings to myself.

But since his breakup with Hallie, I can't stop having these dreams of us together and not all of them are about sex. Some are about making dinner together, or talking long walks in the fields outside the city, or laughing together at work, or attending the Firehouse BBQ together holding hands, or cuddling up on the sofa, or painting the house together, or just being together.

This was crazy, I was going crazy.

Matthew Casey was making me crazy.

I was crazy for him.

I tried to sneak into work, head down, hood up, earphones in, to avoid any questions on why I was so flustered. Instead I did the complete opposite and gained what seemed to be the whole house's attention.

"Woo, what's gotten into to you Dawson?" Otis teases, nudging me as I grump through the break room.

"Nothing, just tired," I mumble back and at that moment Shay walks in with Matt and Kelly at her side and I make a break for the locker room. I notice her smirk as I scurry away, Shay knew that something was going on with me and she was certain she knew which someone was doing it to me.

I only manage to throw my bag into my locker before Shay bursts in, smirking, loud and as extravagant as ever. She knows I'm near telling her what's going on with me.

"So, you ready to talk? You've been keeping this one up for ages now!" She laughs, sitting down on the bench in front of me as I lean against the locker.

When I'm certain that no one is in here but us I say, "Dreams aren't real right? They don't mean anything?"

Her mouth opens with humour and a suggestive grin plays on her lips, and at the exact moment she shouts, "You've been dreaming about Casey, haven't you!?" Severide strides through the door. When he registers what she says, he smirks sauntering towards me chuckling.

"Great," I hiss, biting down on my tongue. How could Matt's best friend keep that from him? That his girl best friend has had many saucy dreams about him?!

"Hey Dawson, don't frown, it's completely normal to dream about a Casey," he chuckles, leaning against the lockers besides me, trying to reassure me but not doing a very good job with that smirk on his face.

"You can't say anything, _both_ of you," I warn, looking from Kelly to Shay, who is still suggestively smirking. I try to sound threatening, but that seems to make them only laugh more.

_Oh yes, because this was so funny._

"Your secret is safe with us," she grins, "Now, these dreams? What happened exactly?" Shay attempts to keep in her laughs, but within moments she and Kelly are both spluttering out fits of hysteria.

I leave them to continue on finding my awkward situation highly amusing and as I exit the locker room, I bump into the person I was trying to avoid the most.

"Whoa, slow down there Gabby," Casey chuckles - why is everyone laughing at me? - steadying me by placing his hands on my arms.

"Oh um, hey Matt," I mumble biting my lip nervously and I'm sure my face was flushed red; I can't stop thinking about my saucy dream.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah um, I'm fine," I gush, his hands are still on my arms. The hands that traced my body last night... I shiver.

He smiles almost nervously with some confusion, unfortunately letting go of my arms, "Well, if you say so."

_I'll say something to you alright._

**(SHAY POV)**

It took Kelly and I a considerably long time to calm down from the whole 'kinky dream' scenario. The dream wasn't even the funny the part; it was Gabby's crazy reaction to it. The way she pouted and warned and fretted over it like it was something out-of-bounds. If anything, she was scared. This meant that the feelings she'd held deep within for all those years that Matt was with Hallie, were rising to the surface and she couldn't control them. Gabby hated being out of control, especially with herself. She'd been unconditionally in love with Matt from the moment they met, and eventually that love also grew into a beautiful friendship.

And Gabby was so damn scared of ruining that friendship that she'd never tell Matt how she felt, and he wasn't gonna grow the balls to do it either. For now it seemed anyway.

As we all took to the break room to watch TV or whatever, Gabby tucked herself away in the corner with her laptop and earphones, claiming she had a lot of 'work to catch up on.'

Her music on the other hand, was so loud that Mouch and Herrmann could hear it over the football game on the TV, to the point where Mouch paused the game.

"Surely the girl can't concentrate with her music that loud?" Mouch grumps after being interrupted halfway through a good game. I laugh and he and Herrmann look to me for answers.

"She isn't concentrating, she's avoiding talking to me," I smirk and even with a good couple of sets of eyes on her, including Matt's, she simply continues to stare at the screen, oblivious to us talking about her.

"And that would be because?" Mouch asks, now considerably interested in Gabby's odd actions. She never usually shied herself away.

Severide jumps in smugly chuckling, "She's dreaming."

I burst into a fit of laughter, w_ith all this laughing I'm bound to get a six-pack,_ and Kelly joins me, "She's gonna kill us!"

Having capturing all the room's occupants attention, including an increasingly interested and confused Matt's, Gabby looks up bewildered and embarrassed and yanks out her earphones.

"Day-dreaming are we Gabriela?" Mouch asks innocently and Kelly and I can't help but laugh even more, although trying our best to stifle them. Matt stares from us and then to Gabby and back again, obviously baffled at our hysterical state and extremely interested on what it was all about, especially if it was about _Gabriela._

"You didn't?" Gabby growls angrily, slamming closed her laptop. She looks ready to kill us.

Forcing myself to quit with the laughter and in smacking Kelly to make him do so too, I reply with, "No we didn't, Scout's honour." I salute her, but she isn't fazed and continues to stare murderously at Kelly and me.

"Didn't what?" Herrmann cries in confusion, his hands thrown up in frustration, asking the question everyone wanted to ask.

"Nothing," I smirk and Gabby only throws me an angry look before heading to the garage.

Casey makes a stand to follow her to the garage, but sits when I say, "It's just a bad day Matt, she'll come round."

_She didn't need to be having that conversation yet._

* * *

When Gabby arrives at work the next morning, the look on her face could only mean one thing, another dream.

As I approach her, she steps back putting her hands up, to warn me off messing with her today, "No, I'm done with teasing you. You wanna talk?"

"Yeah sure," she smiles, leading the way to the locker room.

Setting her bag upon the bench, she giggles to herself stupidly, "I have no idea what to do about this."

"Hey, it's just a dream..."

She punches my shoulder, "That wasn't what you were saying yesterday," she smirks, raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah but yesterday was funny. Why don't you just tell him Gab?"

Gabby's lips make a 'Pfft' sound as she frustratingly pulls her hair into a ponytail, "Why not?"

She stares at me nonchalantly, "Oh yeah, hey Matt. I've just gotta tell you something... Since you've broken up with Hallie, every night I've dreamt about us having sexy time in your firetruck. So um, beautiful weather we're having today huh?!" Her sarcasm changes to sadness, slumping to the bench like she's given up.

"That sounds easy compared to my 'Plan B' speech to Severide," I grin, hoping to cheer her up somehow. It works and Gabby laughs, "I would have loved to have seen that."

She lays her head on my shoulder and sighs, "Why can't everything just be simple?"

"This is life hunny, get used to it... Look, just talk to him and tell him Gab. You'll never know unless you try."

"I already know Shay, I heard him talking to Hallie on the phone the yesterday..." her voice trailing off sadly again.

"That may mean nothing-"

She shakes her head and her body slumps again, giving up on the very idea of Matthew Casey loving her, "No, it sounded pretty serious Shay. With her turning up at the bar the other day and them going for coffee and now they're talking again, it's only a matter of time before they get back together."

"Oh... Gabby what you need is a girls night! My place at 8?" It's the only way I knew how to respond, and how to cheer her up.

Offering a small smile she replies, "Sounds like a plan."

_Oh hopelessly in love Gabby, what will we do with you?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 for you guys! Hope you enjoy.**

**(GABBY POV)**

_"Hallie, I don't know... I thought we agreed? Look, yeah I do too. Okay, around 8, my place after work? Yeah sure, bye."_

Replaying the scene over and over in my head wouldn't change what I heard, I told myself. I was walking to the garage when I see Matt tucked away in some corner, nervously talking into his phone. I hide, not wanting him to see me after that performance from Shay and Kelly and overhear his conversation on the phone. It was Hallie. And to me, that only meant one thing.

_They were getting back together._

It was obvious. She turned up at the bar the other day looking..._amazing _and they went out for coffee, Matt following like some star struck puppy, and now they're meeting up at his place after work.

I sigh; _I guess this was just another case of unrequited love. _And I had to move on, if I could, because I wasn't ever going to be with Matt and I had to face that.

_But you don't want too, because you love him. _

I'm sitting in the ambulance restocking our supplies, trying to concentrate on anything but Matt and the dreams - fantasies - that were flying around my head.

"Hey Dawson," I look up at the familiar voice, smiling, "Hey Kelly. Look, all that laughing you did yesterday finally gave you some abs," I joke, ruffling his stomach.

Laughing back he knocks the clipboard out of my hand in revenge, but quickly retrieves it after the 'oh really?' look I give him.

"So, still having those saucy dreams huh?" He smirks, leaning against the ambo's doors cockily, testing me.

I raise my eyebrows, "You've talked to Shay haven't you?"

Kelly laughs it off, reassuring me with a hand on my shoulder, "You're secret is safe with me Dawson, and don't worry, I'll be gone tonight for you and Shay to have your 'girly night'."

I frown jokingly, "Awh, no fun Kelly! I was really looking forward to doing your hair and make-up!"

This time his eyebrows raise, "Isn't that what little kids do?"

Nonchalantly I reply with, "We're gonna sit around eating pizza and ice-cream while crying to the Titanic Kelly."

He grins again, now on the same wavelength to me but also not saying what he wants to say, "Spit it out Kelly."

"Okay, Shay told me about Matt and Hallie..."

I cringe at the awkward topic, biting at my lips looking away, "Yeah, it's no biggy really... It's what I thought would happen."

He nudges my arm softly, _Kelly's way of comforting me,_ "Hey, maybe it's not what it seems, don't lose hope yet Dawson."

I let out a sarcastic sigh, "I lost my hope a couple of light years ago."

Kelly smiles, "You'll see Dawson, you'll see."

* * *

"So, he's just sitting there, staring at me absolutely freaked out, his eyes wide and his mouth catching flies and I say, 'and you will be mounted!' The look on his face was priceless!" Shay gasps for air as she explains 'Plan B' to me, I couldn't feel my stomach.

"And you will be mounted? What kind of line is that?" I splutter clutching at my aching stomach and Shay is clapping like a seal with silent laughter, Titanic now forgotten as it plays on the wide TV.

"It was the best way to put it at the time Dawson! Don't judge me girl!"

As we calmed down, still spluttering out laughs when we looked at each other, I melted into a tub of Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice-cream and Shay plunged her hand into a bowl of popcorn.

"Do you think it _was _love at first sight with Jack and Rose?" I ask and Shay gives me a 'you serious?' look, "they were both from completely different social classes, they had different lives, different _everything's_. Do you think he just fell in love with the look of her and then fell _in_ love with her?"

She shakes her head, "Nah, I think it was love at first sight. When it's meant to be, it happens. What? Don't you believe in it?"

"Yeah I believe in it, I'm just questioning... Aah, from the beginning, Matt's always _looked_ like he loved me, but I'm not sure if he's _in love_ with me. Does that make sense?"

Shay taps my shoulder warningly, "Gab, you've a couple of beers, don't do this to yourself."

"No, but I-I've always loved him! Why do I always fall for guys who don't love me? I should have known that Matt would never really get over Hallie, heck, he's probably at his place right now having sex with her!"

Her eyebrows raise as she gets up off the sofa and heads towards the kitchen, "You need coffee girl."

"Why can't I get him out of my head Shay? Why can't I stop thinking about him and Hallie? Awh I need help..." I mumble, sighing as I reach the bottom of my ice-cream, "Shay, we're out of ice-cream..."

As she sets down two mugs of coffee on the table, she laughs as I grump over an empty tub of ice-cream, "I'll call Kelly, ask him to pick us up some."

"Kelly will be a really good dad Shay," I sigh, as I sip the hot smooth coffee, "I know Gab, that's why I asked him. And on the plus side," she winks, "the kid will be gorgeous!"

"Shay," I smirk, nudging her, "No really, he'll be great. Kelly's great, you'll both be wonderful parents."

"Thank you Gabby, thanks for truly supporting me throughout this, even if you were a little cautious to begin with," she smiles, throwing an arm over my shoulder hugging me.

"I'll always be there for you, Kelly and your baby."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you... Kelly and I were talking the other day and when we get pregnant Gabby, we want you to be our baby's godmother. "

My mouth drops open and I throw my arms around Shay, squeezing tightly, "I'd be honoured Shay, I'd love too!"

"Well, that's good because you are whether you want to be or not!" Shay giggles, before declaring we had to be quiet now to watch the end of the Titanic.

An hour later the film had finished and before we could even move to clear the mess away, Kelly bursts through the door, holding up two tub of Cookie Dough ice-cream like he's some ice-cream delivering god, "I bring gifts my dear ladies!"

As he hands us the tubs we can only thank him with a kiss to the cheek and a "You're not sharing any though..."

* * *

After Kelly steals some of our popcorn the three of us settle down on the sofa to watch another film. As he slouches between us, his phone rings and interrupts 'Castaway,' so we pause it as Kelly pulls himself up to answer it. Digging deep into his pocket, his brow creases as he looks at his phone, "Casey... Huh, best take this."

He goes into the bathroom and before he shuts the door Shay and I catch him saying, "Casey, whoa, what's up?"

As the door closes and we are unable to hear Kelly anymore, Shay turns to me with a puzzled look on her face as her spoon is yet to leave her mouth.

"What do you think that's about?" She mumbles, the spoon bobbing in her mouth as she speaks.

I frown, "I have no idea...He was meant to be with Hallie tonight. Shay, what if he's telling Kelly that they're back together?! They always talk to each other about their relationships!"

"Gabby calm down, if everything was going _dandy _would Casey be calling Kelly now? No, he'd be in his bed having sexy time!"

"So it's a good thing that Matt's calling Kelly?" I ask, as my whole body cringes with the thought of Matt and Hallie having 'sexy time.'

She nods, "I guess so girl! Don't fret Gabby; you don't even see half of the story here."

Before I even get a chance to question and protest over her last comment, Kelly comes out of the bathroom looking even more puzzled than he did going in.

"What did Matt say Kelly?" I ask hurriedly and impatiently as he plops down on the armchair opposite us.

"He said he was at his place with Hallie. Things got a little...heated, but he stopped it between them. He said Hallie just lost it, started throwing things and screaming that the reason he doesn't want her back is because of you, Gabbs. Hallie said she was going to talk to you, wanted to keep you out-of-the-way or something. Anyway, apparently she's coming here to have a word with you. Casey is on his way, but she'll be here before him. He just said to keep you away from her because she's acting crazy."

I stare at Kelly, biting my lip before murmuring "Oh", well this had come as a bit of a shock really, from my perspective Matt couldn't wait to be back with Hallie.

"So, in a few minutes crazy Hallie is gonna be knocking on our door? Great..." Shay declares sarcastically, before giving me a look of worry once she realises I had gone all quiet.

"You okay Gabs?" Kelly asked, clearly he'd noticed it too. I bite my lip and my stomach is aching with nerves, _what was happening?_

"What did I do?" I mutter, I had kinda been pretty down since Hallie showed up and hadn't really spoken much to Matt since. Hallie couldn't have possibly even seen us talking together because we hadn't talked, it seemed like there was no motive for this.

And Kelly said things got heated between them. What does that mean? A kiss? A grope? A sexual favour? How 'heated' did things get before Matt stopped it? I frown at the thought. Maybe there was another reason why Matt stopped it between them and Hallie just took it the wrong way. Maybe it had nothing to do with me.

Something told me to disagree with the latter.

Something gave Hallie a reason to bring me into the situation, something happened that involved me. Hallie was not stupid; something gave her an incentive that involved me.

"Gabs? You there?" I'd been so preoccupied with my thoughts that I'd completely ignored Shay and Kelly.

I shake my head to rid myself of these thoughts, but the image of Matt and Hallie together _like that_ still flooded my mind, "What? Yeah, what we're you saying?"

They look at each other before turning to look at me, a set of blue eyes and a pair of brown eyes fell upon me, "We said that you haven't done anything. Hallie has jumped to a conclusion that's all."

I raise my brow, "One that involves me in fact. Did Matt say what made her think of me?"

Kelly hums and hesitates, "Well yeah..."

Three sharp and loud knocks on the door saves him from my questioning and demanding glare. He jumps up and heads towards the door, telling Shay and I to stay where we were and that he'd handle it. My stomach sank.

Hallie continues to bang on the door until Kelly opens it and when he does, she looks almost murderous.

They immediately begin arguing, their voices overlapping which made it hard to understand what they were saying.

"Look, Hallie, just calm down... You have to calm down, you're acting crazy!"

"I will not 'just calm down!' I want to talk with Gabby, let me talk to her!"

I head to the door, hoping that if Hallie does get to talk to me she'll calm down. I'd never seen her act like this before. Her eyes were full of upset and rage, and she was fighting against Kelly to get access to me. Her voice was loud and wild, and even in all this; she still looked amazing as I compared her beautiful state to my wild haired, no make-up, scruffy pyjamas and ice-cream ridden state. There was no comparison.

"Gabs don't..." Kelly warns, but I ignore him, "Hallie, I'll talk to you, just calm down okay...We can talk."

Her eyes snap up to look at me and for that moment she quieted, almost listening to what I was saying. I take Kelly's place in the doorway, but he stays nearby watching Hallie with some confusion but yet understanding.

Hallie seemed to be grinding her teeth as her tall frame intimidates my own short frame, and I'm kinda nervous around her. _When will Matt get here?_

"Look, Hallie, I don't know why you've brought me into this, but I'm sorry okay? For whatever I've done..." I try to offer a hand of comfort, but she only jumps away with a snarl and a murderous stare.

"It's all your fault!" She hisses, clenching her hands with anger and I was suddenly fearful of her. This wasn't the calm, cool, smooth doctor I knew.

My brow burrows in confusion, but this only seems to anger her more, "Excuse me?"

"Yes, you! If it wasn't for you, Matt and I would still be together."

I get angry at this, their break up had nothing to do with me, "He wanted kids and you didn't, that's why you broke up, not because of me Hallie! This is ridiculous!"

"No, that's not it!" She yells and lunges forward, grabbing me by the arms, pulling me out of the apartment and throwing me against the wall of the corridor.

I hiss at the sharp pain that passes through my head when I hit the wall and my vision blurs and the loud voices seem further away than they were.

"Gabby!" I hear someone yelp through the flurry of voices and soon I was lifted to my feet by warm arms.

"Matt?" I mumble and when my vision straightens out I find Matt's face not too far from my own, filled with worry and anger.

"Oh isn't that nice?" Hallie hisses sharply, being held back by Kelly. Shay stands by my side, her fingers poking my thumping head.

"Hallie," Matt demands angrily, "Leave."

She only laughs, "Do you want to know Gabby? Do you want to know why I'm here?"

I feel Matt's body tense and this only adds to my confusion, I stare at her with a burrowed brow as I bite my lip.

"Hallie, don't," Matt warns, as the hand that is wrapped around my waist propping me up stiffens, "Please."

"Well why not? It would be unfair of me to keep her believing that her love is unrequited." Hallie smirks bitterly, her clear rage seeping off her.

"What?" I mumble, my head still pounding and my body still weak, I'm surprised that I'm conscious.

Matt's face flushes with embarrassment and he refuses to meet my eyes, or anybody else's for that matter. Kelly stares at him as if he knows the reason why he's acting like this, then it occurred to me he knew, it was what he was going to tell me. He watches Matt with concern and empathy.

"He moaned _your_ name when we were getting intimate. _Your_ name Gabby!"

"Oh," is the only thing I can manage to mutter through shock and confusion, but it doesn't matter because nobody can hear me over the arguing that erupts.

Matt shouts for Hallie to leave, and she screams back that she's happy too and that she never wants to see him again. Hallie turns her back and stalks down the hall, and at this point, I kinda felt sorry for her. She really loved Matt and no one deserved for things to end like this.

"Ow Shay," I hiss, as the blonde bombshell prods the huge lump on the side of my head, causing shooting pains to fire through my brain. We sit on the sofa, and Matt and Kelly awkwardly stand close to the window, watching us with a tense stance.

The last few minutes had been extremely awkward for us all, considering what just came out of Hallie's mouth. It shocked me deeply, because I'd never thought Matt could harbour any feelings like that. Maybe it was an accident? I hoped not. The feeling that was stirring in my stomach was nervously good.

"Sorry hun, but I had to check you out. It's a nasty bump, but it should go down by morning."

"Yeah I know, I'm a paramedic too Shay."

She smirks and nudges me, "Don't get cheeky with me girl, or I'm taking away your ice-cream."

"As long as I get to pop a couple of painkillers I don't care... My head is pounding," I mutter and when I do, Matt exhales sharply with an angry tone. My jaw locks, but my stomach bounces at the look on his face.

"Maybe you should sleep it off?" Matt declares, before mumbling something I can't understand. I smile, trying to reassure him and to make him feel more comfortable, tonight was not the night to talk about what we needed to talk about.

Shay puts her hand under my elbow, pulling me up to my feet, "Good idea, with the drink and bang to the head combined, you're gonna feel like crap tomorrow. But no painkillers, not mixed with the amount of alcohol you've consumed tonight."

"Screw you Shay," I hiss, as my vision blurs when I stand. Matt rushes to my side and takes me off Shay, who smirks when he leads me to the small bedroom on the bottom floor of their apartment.

Soon I'm lying in the bed, mumbling incoherent words to myself. Matt pulls the cover up to my neck and wraps it around me, "If you need anything, just call," he says softly, slightly easing the thunder in my head.

"Matt?"

"Hmm?" He replies, sitting down on the bed beside me, a calm look to his face, he seemed pretty comfortable for now.

"If I was having sex with someone else, I'd moan your name too."

A smirk plays on his plump pink lips and a silly chuckle escapes them, "Goodnight Gabby."

"No, no, I'm serious..."

The last thing I remember before a calm wave of sleep washes over me is the soft whisper of Matt's voice saying, "Goodnight," and the quiet click of the closing door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the delay, exams have taken over my life!**

**I hope you're all enjoying this story, so I won't keep you any longer!**

**oxox**

* * *

I wake up with a groan. The pain in my head had eased slightly, but my whole body ached with a hangover and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep and huddle under the covers. Instead, with a craving for a strong cup of tea, I pulled myself up, wrapped my achy body within the cover and dragged myself towards the kitchen.

"Feeling rough huh?" His husky voice instantly stirred my senses and my head snaps up, setting my eyes on his tousled hair, bright blue eyes, five o'clock shadow and tight shirt covering his toned torso.

Suddenly I felt just that much better.

But I had to try to suppress all these feelings, we had to plenty to talk about and plenty to sort out, and now was not the time to indulge in feelings that had been kept hidden away for so long. I could wait just that little longer.

"Like you wouldn't imagine..." I groan, pulling myself up on the hard stool. Matt walks around the counter coming towards me "Let me take a look at your head."

His cool fingers run over my scalp, gently checking for the large bump that had been there last night, "The bump has gone down, you'll live."

Matt's school boy smirk lights up the room, "Well in that case, a tea would be nice please?" I attempt to smile, too achy to move to make it myself.

"If I must," he grins, while putting the boiling water into the mug.

"Are Shay and Kelly still sleeping?" I ask Matt's back, as I watch him move about the kitchen making my tea.

"Yeah, Kelly told me to crash on the sofa and we stayed up for a while checking on you every few minutes. Shay was worried you may be sick." He sets the steaming mug in front of me and then sits on the stool opposite.

"I was fine..." I sigh as the hot liquid soothes my throat and eases the ache in my body.

"You seemed pretty crazy," his comment makes me blush as I recall what I said to him last night, a small smile plays on his lips as he realises I remembered.

"I..I.." I stutter nervously, then I sigh, "Are you okay?"

His brows creases, but Matt's eyes tell me he's catching on, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Last night..." I sigh, placing my hand over his, "can we talk?"

"About what?" Matt sips his coffee and his feign of knowledge hits me like a bus. I didn't know whether it was embarrassment or whether he just wanted to forget about it, because it was a mistake, but it hurt.

I snap my hand away, and mumble pathetic words under my breath as I retreat back to the bedroom.

"Gabby, no, wait!" His hand closes around my wrist, pulling me towards him, "That was stupid. _I_ was stupid... Gabby, please look at me." Matt's warm fingers trace the edge of my jaw, encouraging my wandering eyes to meet his own. I do.

"I..I'm not sure what to do about this, about us. I don't want you to think all this is because of Hallie, I don't want to hurt you."

"You just did," I mutter bitterly and yank my hand from his grip, releasing myself from his glorious warmth and run towards the bedroom. I slam the door shut, childishly expressing my anger to him, and lean against it, letting out a groan of frustration and letting the tears fall from my eyes.

_"Can we talk?"_

_"About what?"_

_"I..I'm not sure what to do about this, about us. I don't want you to think all this is because of Hallie, I don't want to hurt you."_

Well that's exactly what you did Matt, and it really hurt. It crushed me, and not only because I thought that maybe something between us could start over this, but because you treated me like that, you're best friend.

_"Well why not? It would be unfair of me to keep her believing that her love is unrequited." _

_"He moaned your name when we were getting intimate. Your name Gabby!"_

Maybe it didn't happen the way Hallie said it did, maybe it had nothing to do with me after all.

No, I knew what had happened. The way Matt acted gave me the impression it was correct, the harsh words of 'about what?' only summed that up for me.

All this is because of Hallie, it was a stupid mistake that Matt made and I was sure they'd be back together soon enough. It was an argument, one that I was mistakenly brought into and one that really had nothing to do with me. This was Matt and Hallie; this had nothing to do with Matt and me. The 'about what?' was only Matt trying to say to me to 'forget it' and that 'he's still got it for Hallie' and that 'what she said wasn't true.'

Out of sheer frustration, anger and sadness, I hit my head against the cool wooden door, in some pathetic attempt to rid all memories of this morning and last night out of my head. It didn't work; all it did was make my headache more prominent.

I thought myself to be pretty lucky when realising that I'd left my bag in this room last night. I quickly changed and threw on my boots, ran my hand through my hair and searched my bag for my car keys.

"Gabs? Where are you going?" I hadn't heard Shay come in and I jumped at her voice, wiping away the tears that I hadn't realised were still in my eyes.

"I'm sorry Shay, I gotta go..." I whisper and my throat clenches with the tears when she wraps her arms around me. She smelt of our ice-cream from last night.

"Sssh hun, Casey said-"

"Don't Shay," I ask softly, "I know what's going on. He was just being nice."

"No Gabs, really-"

"I'm okay," I cut her off again and her blue eyes watch me with concern, "I'm gonna go home and shower, I'll see you at work tonight yeah?"

"Yeah, sure hun," Shay replies, squeezing my hand, "If you need me?"

I smile softly back, wiping away the last of my tears, "I know."

I quickly leave the bedroom, heading for the door, Kelly calls "See ya later Dawson," quietly, and I offer a weird awkward smile before scurrying out the door, away from Matt.

Rushing to my car I open the back door and throw in my bag, before placing myself in the driver's seat, releasing the breath I hadn't realised I was holding. I deep breathe for a few moments, leaning against the head rest, gripping the wheel so tightly my knuckles turn white, collecting my thoughts.

I drive and drive, just concentrating on getting as far away from Matt as possible, and soon enough I was home. I head straight for the shower, the hot water washing away my worries for a while.

I found myself crying, for a moment I tried to tell myself it was just the shower, that I wasn't that weak, but the hurt I felt only made me crush away that fantasy.

I had to try and move on from him, Hallie was clearly the only woman he wants to be with, and I had to accept this on move on with my life. Forget the ridiculous thoughts of Matt and me, because it was never go to happen and now I realise this, I can move on.

I had too, I'd go crazy if I didn't, because I love Matt, I really do, but I have to let him go.

I don't even remember climbing into bed naked, my face still being soaked with constant tears. I set the alarm to wake up an hour before work and I try to fall asleep, haunted with images of Matt and Hallie, and the wetness of the pillow against my cheek from the tears escaping my eyes.

At that moment, I was feeling more weak and lost and broken than I had ever felt in my entire lifetime,_ and it hurt._

I rush into work 20 minutes late and I bump into Hermann, who jokes, "Hey Dawson, you've missed half the shift!"

Just his presence made me feel better, Chris was great, "Damn rush hour traffic, got stuck behind a delivery truck."

He winks, "That's what they all say Dawson, I'm watching you..."

"Now that's just creepy Chris!" I laugh as I go to put my stuff in the locker room, where there I composed myself because I knew I'd have to face Matt sooner or later.

Putting on my brave face I head to the kitchen to make dinner, where I begin chopping up the vegetables.

"Dawson, turn the radio down, the game's on!" Mouch moans, as Whitney Houston's _I will always love you _blares from the radios speakers.

"Mouch, the game will be repeated tomorrow, I may _never _hear this song again," I tease, as he pauses the TV.

"Good, it's awful."

"Please do not insult this pure classic Mouch, or you'll be getting no dinner."

"Fine, just don't expect me to help your ass out when you get yourself into some more trouble," he gruffs, referring to my earlier hearing a few months ago.

"Hey, you say that as if I constantly get into...trouble," I stutter, as Matt, Shay and Kelly enter the break room. My eyes catch his for a moment, before I snap them away to concentrate on the vegetables.

Mouch's and the other guys' face's turn confused when they notice my stutter and my nervousness around Matt, but they don't say anything.

Matt and Kelly go to sit at the table with Cruz and Otis, and Shay heads towards me, "You okay?" she says under her breath.

I put my brave face on, "I'm fine Shay, why wouldn't I be?" I ask, rinsing the vegetables under the water and turning on the oven.

She sighs, "Your poker-face is awful Gabs," she says pretty loudly, and Matt's ears prick up at her words. I got irritated and a little angry at her choice of words, and try my hardest to not slam down the knife on the worktop.

"Shut up Shay," I hiss, attempting not to take my anger out on her, "I'm fine, I know where I stand now."

She frowns, and then places a hand over my own, "I'm here when you wanna talk," before she walks over to the sofa.

I shove my earphones into my ears and turn the music to the loudest volume, a clear sign for everyone to leave me alone, especially Matt.

I quickly finish dinner, but we don't get a chance to eat it because the alarm sounds.

"Truck 81, Squad 51, Ambulance 61, 4 car pile-up on Michigan Avenue."

We were the last Ambulance at the scene, where 3 out of the 4 cars were completely mangled, and screams called from every direction.

Three people had already been taken to hospital, and Shay and I was assigned the last car in the pile up, a mother and daughter.

The little girl was screaming and the boys had already started trying to get them out. Kelly deemed it safe for me to climb into the car and aid the little girl, as Shay tended to her mother outside of the car.

"Mommy, Mommy!" The little brunette called, lunging forward to try to reach her mother.

"No, no sweetie. You have to keep still, let me take a look at you." I try to check her pulse, but she swats my hand away, "Mommy!"

"How is she Shay?" I call, in hope that I could reassure the girl.

"She's unconscious, but her pulse is good."

I try to offer the girl a small smile of comfort, "See sweetie, your Mommy's fine. Now, what's your name?" I ask, when she calms slightly at Shay's words.

"Abigail..." she mumbles, as I check her pulse and then tend to her head injury.

"Okay Abigail, and how old are you?"

"Almost eight..."

"Right, I'm Gabriela, can you tell me where it hurts sweetie?"

She points to her ribs, "It hurts really bad right there Gabby," and grimaces at the pain. The boys had just taken her mother to the ambulance and Shay said she was looking stable.

I gently feel her ribs and she hisses, I say "I'm sorry sweetie," _broken ribs_, I tell myself, but no lung puncture.

"Dawson, cover her eyes, we have to smash the glass," Kelly instructs, and I shield her body with my own. She yelps when he smashes the glass, but I try to comfort her with, "it's okay sweetie, you'll be out of here in a minute."

I place a neck brace on her before I climb out of the car, holding on to her hand tightly. For a moment I capture Matt's eyes, feeling nervous and embarrassed, but I snap my eyes away when I hear Abigail's cry.

"No, I'm scared," she cries as we try to get on her on the board. I bend down to face her and clutch her hand, "I promise you Abigail, there is nothing to be afraid of. I won't leave you."

Her face softens, "You promise Gabby?"

"I promise you, I'm not going anywhere."

We quickly get her on the board and off to the ambulance, where Shay and I drive her to Lakeshore.

As the doctors pull her away, she screams, "Don't leave me Gabby!"

I run to her side, stopping the doctors for a moment, "I have to go sweetie…"

Her pretty face frowns and her eyes well, "I want you to meet Mommy."

I didn't realise my own eyes had begun to leak tears, "I'll come and visit you once my shift has ended okay? I promise Abigail."

Her frown doesn't disappear, but she seems slightly comforted by this, "Thank you Gabriela."

I kiss her head before the doctors pull her away, and shout, "You be strong sweetie!" as she is wheeled out of sight.

I return to the front desk, where Shay is already signing the papers. I wipe my wet eyes and walk towards her, knowing I had to apologise.

"Shay," I mumble as her eyes don't move the paper when I come to her side, "I'm sorry for being such a bitch earlier, you didn't deserve it."

"Yeah, you're right I didn't," she mutters bitterly, her blue eyes briefly giving me an angry glare before returning to concentrate on the paperwork.

"I know and I'm really sorry Shay, I don't wanna hurt you," _well that sounds familiar, _I almost cry, trying to put my hand around her shoulders.

She sighs, turning to hug me properly, "I know hunny, I'm always here for you, and you know that. You don't always have to be that strong Gabriela Dawson, you can hurt too."

"I don't deserve you Shay, you're too good to me," I laugh and meant it, as I pull her away from the paperwork and out back to the van.

"Don't be silly, I can be a complete bitch to you too."

"You're right there," I joke, as she pulls away from the hospital and back towards the firehouse.

"Hey, quit you're attitude before I throw you from this van."

"See, there's that bitch that was hidden inside!"

"Dawson, shut your pie hole."

"I am so telling Kelly on you."

"No more ice-cream for you then."

"Awh, no fair Shay."

"Haha."


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay! Here we go!**

**xoxox**

As we near the Firehouse, Shay glances at me with a nervous look for what had to be the tenth time within a matter of minutes.

I sigh, roll my head to look at her and exclaim, "Spit it out Shay."

She hums, knowing she's been found out, "Look Gabs, I think you should talk to Casey."

I sigh heavily again and rub my grumpy face with my hands, not really wanting to talk about Casey right now, "Shay, I get it. It's okay, I can get over him."

"No Gabs, you don't get it. When you left, Kelly and I talked with him, he really didn't mean what he said. He really is in-"

She stutters when she notices my teary eyes and my lip biting, before her expression becomes confusion, until she turns her head to see what I'm seeing, and her mouth drops open.

Hallie was hugging Matt right in front of the Firehouse, and as we drove in to park the van, she kissed his cheek, smiled and climbed into her car and drove away.

"He really is what Shay? He really is nothing," I whisper sadly, my eyes directed only at my lap in shame, "Last night was a stupid mistake and now they're back together. I _do _get it."

I climb out of the van and head for my bunk, suddenly losing my appetite for the lasagna I'd made earlier.

Throwing myself on the bunk, I let out a cry of pure sadness and rejection before trying to stop the tears leaving my eyes. It would only let everyone know something was up.

I pull the blanket to my chest, hoping that a short nap would ease my fumbling emotions and muddled head. I didn't worry about missing a call; the alarm was too loud for that.

I lay there for a while, calming my emotions and my mind, before drifting off into a jittery sleep. When I wake, I feel drained, but decide that I will put my sadness, pain and rejection aside, and go back to the Gabby that I was _before_ this whole mess happened. As hard as it would be, in the long run it would be easier for me, because Matt was back with Hallie.

Throwing myself from the bunk, I tidy my hair before rushing to the kitchen, the rumbling in my stomach now to prominent to ignore.

"Dawson, slow down with the lasagna, there'll be none left for me!" Herrmann exclaims, sitting down on the chair opposite me as I devour the wonderful (if I do say so myself) dish.

"That was the plan…" I smirk, and he rolls his eyes as he pulls out some papers.

"I was thinking that once we get the bar up and running, we organise hockey nights. The Blackhawks on TV and a beer in hand, it'll be a hit!"

I smile, getting excited by his idea and prospect of the bar opening very soon, "It sounds great. Have you talked to Otis?"

"Nah, who wants that guys opinion?" He jokes, nudging my arm before throwing himself up, presumably to find Otis, who he knew that would give a good advice on his idea.

After finishing up with my dinner I head towards the garage in the hope of finding Shay. The night had long gone dark, and the garage doors were lowered to protect us from the bitter cold breeze.

I find her in the corner of the garage huddled with Matt and Kelly, muttering furiously under their breaths, careful not for anyone to overhear their conversation.

I stand around the van for a while, thinking about how to approach this situation. Whether to walk away before being seen or to walk straight up to them with a smile on my face. I still felt awful, full of hurt and rejection, but I couldn't let this control me. I wouldn't let Matt see how I really felt, how he really hurt me, because it was pointless, useless, he was back with Hallie.

So I decided to not be a pussy and be strong for myself.

"Hey Gabs," Shay calls breaking me from my inner pep talk and I jump from the edge of the van, slowly stumbling towards them.

Matt's eyes fall on me and my stomach flips nervously under his stare, our eyes lock but the feeling is so intense I can't make out what his eyes are saying. I bite my lip in nerves.

"Um, hey," I breathe the anxiety clear in my voice; I shove my hands into my pockets, unsure whether I felt the cold from the night or the cold from this congregation.

_Breathe slow Gabby._

They stare at me all holding looks of concern; I try to distract them from myself with "So, what's going on?"

"Er," Shay glances at Matt for a moment before back at me, "We were thinking about going out for drinks on Friday, you game?"

I smile, "Yeah sure, when am I not?"

She nudges me, "You're a borderline alcoholic girl."

"Definitely not as bad as you," I snigger, joking along with her to show that I was fine, that I was the Gabby they know and love.

Matt turns to directly face me, his mouth bobbing open and close for a moment before opening it once more, he leans forward slightly to address me and I watch anxiously, waiting for what he is about to say.

Before he gets the chance to say anything he's interrupted by Herrmann calling my name.

"Yeah?" I reply, turning on my heels to see what he's calling for.

When I turn, Herrmann has his hand on the shoulder of Abigail, the girl who I'd treated earlier today in the car accident. She was still dressed in a hospital gown, and she was alone.

"Abigail?" I hiss, worried and distressed to see her still in her gown. I rush over, kneel to her height and place my hands on her arms.

"Gabby!" she exclaims throwing her small arms around me in a hug, she felt so cold.

"Abigail, what are you doing here? You're meant to be at the hospital!" I ask in shock and panic more than anything, how did this little girl get here?

"I don't like hospitals, and mommy hasn't woken up yet. I wanted to see you," she cries, drops of tears escaping her eyes.

I sigh with sadness now, she was worried and alone, "Sssh, it's okay sweetie," now returning the hug.

"Abigail, I'm going to have to check you over and then take you back to the hospital okay? I bet they're very worried about you."

She huffs, her little arms crossing in anger, "I don't like it there. Nobody will tell me when I can see mommy."

I'm at loss for words, I don't know how to explain to her about her mother's condition because I don't know what her condition is, and it doesn't feel right to lie to her.

Suddenly, I feel Matt's warmth beside me as he kneels in front of Abigail too.

"Abi? Can I call you Abi?"

"Sure," she smiles, and seems automatically at ease around Matt.

"Okay, Abi. I know you don't like hospitals – I don't like them very much either – but they'll help you and your Mom get better. You're going to have to go back, but I'm very sure you'll be out of there in no time."

Her brow burrows, "How can you be so sure?" she asks questionably, with adorable cuteness.

Matt flashes a big goofy grin at her, "Because I am Mr. Know It All, silly!"

Abigail giggles, "Okay, if you say so."

He nods with a smile before Abigail speaks again, _he was so good with kids, _"Will you and Gabby take me back to the hospital please?"

Matt looks at me, and for that moment, everything was okay, everything was like it had been, I didn't hurt. I nod, "Sure, that's okay with me."

We load Abigail into the van, where I proceed to rigorously check her over and make sure nothing had worsened. In this time I also found out how she got to the Firehouse; a nurse had told her that Shay and I came from Firehouse 51 and while her back was turned, Abigail escaped from the hospital and walked to the house. I found it crazy, but courageous too; she reminded me of myself when I was young.

"Are you two fighting?" Abigail questions with an accusing tone, after Matt and I sit side-by-side in complete awkwardness and a tense silence.

Before thinking I blurt out a "No, why would you think that?!"

"Because you look like Mommy and Daddy after they've fought."

A nervous pit bubbles in my stomach and force myself to steer away from Matt's stare, "No sweetie, we're not fighting," trying to distract her with re-checking her vitals and attending to her bruised chest.

"So you're married?" In this moment, I learned that Abigail was very inquisitive and very observant, and was able to make the situation a lot more awkward than it previously was.

I laugh nervously, unable to see or feel Matt's reaction as I did not look at him and I had scooted away from him, "We're not married."

"So you're together?"

"No, we're not together."

"Why not?!"

I shrug my shoulders, this was getting a little out of hand and unbelievably awkward, "Because we're not," I answer, before I realise how childish that sounded.

Her finger points accusingly at me, then at Matt and then back at me, "You look at each other like Mommy and Daddy look at each other."

"Oh, do we?" I squeak, just as Shay pulled into the hospital.

_Thank heavens for that._

Shay and Matt waited outside while I escorted Abigail back to her nurses and assured her that I would visit very soon. She seemed a little more calm and contented this time, but you never know what troubles eight year olds get themselves into.

I gave her a hug before I instructed the nurses to keep a closer watch on her, much to Abigail's frustration, and headed back out towards the van. I found Shay and Matt talking against the van, and Shay then proceeded to instruct me to keep Matt company in the back of the van. I rolled my eyes at her clear attempt to try to get us to talk, and climb into the back of the van.

Five minutes must have passed before I even had the guts to look at him, and another two went by before his lips moved, the husky voice whispering, "I think we need to talk."

"About what?" I hiss bitterly, hoping the words stung him just as much as they did me. The words register in his head and he sighs, and the look he gives me is one of regret.

"Look Gabby I-"

"No, don't 'look' me. What did you think huh? That I'd just forget about it, like nothing happened? What does all that matter now anyway? I saw you with Hallie, I'm happy for you," I snarl harshly, my blood boiling with rage and jealously.

He shakes his head furiously, "I won't do this with you here if you're going to get this angry."

"Don't patronise me Matt. I thought you respected me enough to not treat me like that!"

"And I do Gabby, you know that," Matt replies, and my hands clench, _I do know that._

My anger begins to fade, the caring look in his eye weakening the fight that I wanted to put up. I told myself to listen to him, just for a moment.

His hands clasp over mine as I sit opposite him in the van, my stomach knots and goose-bumps erupt on my skin, nervous and fearful of what he is about to say.

"You saw me with Hallie huh?" He asks, but it didn't seem like much of a question. I look up, my brow wrinkling in confusion, and nod at him to carry on.

His thumb grazes my chin, the rough skin somehow soft against my own, I felt suddenly warm, "Is this what this is? Jealously?"

Now unable to look in his eyes I look down, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment and sadness, "I get it Matt. It was just an argument, you're back together."

He chuckles, the noise coming from deep within his throat – _yeah, I'm that pathetic._

"She was saying goodbye Gabby, she's moving to Philadelphia."

"What?" I reply in shock, still unable to move my eyes from the floor.

"Gabby, look at me," Matt asks, and I can't help but listen to the order in his voice.

His hand still grazes my chin as our eyes connect, and he sighs softly, contented.

"Believe me when I say this, I am very sorry about what happened the other day. I honestly did not mean to hurt you like that and I made a jackass move, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to avoid the conversation and it was stupid of me. And know we need to talk, so if you want you can come over tonight, and we'll talk. I promise Gabby."

I bit my lip and nod, pulling him into me to hug him, "It's nice to have you back."

He mumbles into my neck, his hot breath warming my skin, "I never went anywhere."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, sorry for the delay! It was due to school, but it's over now so I will be able to write more!**

**I hope you like this chapter, but it will be M.**

**So just for you all to be warned.**

**oxoxo**

* * *

I must have stood outside for at least 5 minutes, contemplating on whether I should knock or run away. I was slightly anxious – no, scrap that, _very _anxious – but kind of excited too, I wanted to see where this would lead.

Eventually I pluck up the courage to knock his door and seconds later it opens to reveal his very handsome self, dressed in dark jeans and a white T-shirt. My breath catches in my throat a little.

"Hey, wanna come in?" He says smoothly, motioning his hand for me to join him.

"Hey," I breathe, as I hear the door close with a soft click behind me. Just seeing his smiling face and hearing his smooth voice was enough to calm my nerves, and enough to ignite flames of desire.

"You want a beer?" Matt asks as I follow him into the kitchen, being engulfed in the smell of chicken.

"Sure, that smells good," I comment, as he clunks his beer against mine before taking a swig.

He chuckles, a warm and husky sound, "It's one of the few things I can cook."

"As long as it doesn't kill me," I joke with a cheeky smile, stepping a little closer to him. I take a deep breath, this time inhaling his smoky, woody, sexy scent. I think he notices, as his Adam's apple bobs up and down, showing me how nervous and desirous he was too.

"It won't _kill_ you Gabby," the way my name rolls off Matt's lips so sexily instantly reminds of one of my dreams. _Whoa. _He takes step closer also, so close that I can feel the heat of his body radiate against my own, igniting even more flames of passion.

I gulp and our eyes meet, blue against brown, passion against passion and my breathing quickens, "Well that's good."

Matt's eyebrow cocks up, a cheeky and sly look on his face, but I could tell he was losing it just as much as I was, "And why is that?"

_Because I have something else in mind tonight. _

I'm saved by the timer of the oven going off, and tension between us is somewhat broken when Matt turns to get the chicken from the oven. I have to lean against the counter to regain reality and my mind.

I setup the table as he serves up the creamy chicken with some vegetables, and then we eat. We comfortably talked about work and little things that we had going on; we talked about anything really. Once it was time to clean up – Matt washed, I dried – he turned on the radio, and soon one of my favourite songs came on.

"_She's got a smile that seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories."_

"I adore this song!" I yelp, and instinctively begin swaying to the rock classic.

"Whoaa! Sweet child of mine!" Matt cheekily sings, with a cheesy grin on his face and flicks water in my face.

"Well, Lt. Casey, I never took _you_ for a singer," I smirk; hitting him with the damp towel I had in my hands, and continued my dance as I washed the dishes.

His eyebrows rise once more, "I never took _you_ for a dancer."

"I have my moves," I wink, before he nods a 'Touché' as we finish with the washing up.

Matt then takes me out to his back porch, where I sit with my legs tucked underneath me and he sits opposite me. We sit and enjoy the warm night for a while, listening to the birds chirping and the laughing children next door, before Matt sighs heavily and turns to me.

_This was it. No more avoiding it. _

"Have you forgiven me?" He asks tentatively at first, hiding his face behind a swig of beer.

"Would I be here if I hadn't?"

Matt shakes his head, "Maybe not, it was a jackass move and I know you expect more than that from me."

I gulp and my lips purse, "I think I know why you did it."

He moves his hand in a way to show for me to elaborate, "You were avoiding it – we've been avoiding it for a long time – talking about…"

"Us." He finishes my sentence, as I left it hanging while trying to find the right word.

"Yeah."

We silence before Matt speaks again, "How about truth night?" He offers, and I offer a confused look.

"For tonight, we tell each other the truth. No beating around the bush. Just us."

"I've never lied to you."

"But you never told me the truth about your feelings either," he states, and my eyes roll.

"Am I that obvious?"

"I never told you the truth either."

I shake my head, "That's not fair. You were with Hallie for 8 years; I wasn't going to put you in that position and ruin your relationship. And I didn't expect you to do the same either. I settled for you being my best friend because that was much better than not having you in my life at all."

He sighs and runs his hand through his blonde hair, messing it all up, but sexily, "I know Gabby. I did love her, I really did. But I never realised that I loved you too, I never thought I could love two people at once."

My breath catches in my throat, "You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that."

Matt sets his beer down on the wooden decking and gets up and walks towards me, kneeling down in front of my chair, placing his hands on my legs.

His eyes snap up to mine and he strokes my hair, I shiver and the goose bumps return to my skin, my breathing glitches and my heart rate picks up, _I've never felt this overwhelmed in my life,_ "Gabriela I love you."

And then oh so softly, sweetly and gently, he leans up and then presses his plump lips against mine.

For a moment, it felt like the world had stopped, before a passionate and fiery flare lit up inside me as I pushed against his lips, feeling every single inch of that soft pink skin. Matt's hand runs up my thigh and up into my hair which he tugs to pull me ever so close to him, to deepen our kiss. With little swift licks along my lips he asks for entrance which my body instantly reacts to and I allow our tongues to dance a dance they wish they had for years.

It was years and years of lust, desire, friendship, trust, love and adoration exploding into one perfect kiss.

Matt slows the kiss as the need for air over took us and his lips part from mine, but they do not leave my skin. As I catch my breath with small gasps his wet lips wander across my jaw line and down my neck and to my shoulder.

I shiver as he plays with my nerves and I'm unable to control the wanting moan from leaving my lips.

He lets out a small laugh and places one last kiss on my neck before returning to face me, with a large smile on his face.

"Matt?" I whisper, feeling that anything louder would ruin this moment.

"Yeah?" he answers in the same tone, his course fingers running back and forth my arm.

"I love you too."

His smile only seems to grow larger as he pushes my hair away from my bewildered eyes, "You're beautiful, you know that?"

My face flushes and a smile plays on my face, "You're not so bad yourself."

"I'm scared I'll hurt you again," Matt sighs and looks away, and his hand drops from my face, _he was talking about the other day. _

My hand reaches for his chin and I try to ease him to look at me, "You won't hurt me. I want this, I want you."

I press my lips to his own again to make him see exactly what I wanted and then press my forehead against his, "There is nothing I am more sure about than you Matt. I love you, and whatever has happened, whatever will happen, that love will never go away."

He rises from kneeling in front of me, and as he holds out his hand he says, "Ditto."

I too stand and wrap my arms around his waist, and lean my head against his chest to listen to his heart thumping away. The sound is comforting, soothing and I become lost in his arms. I'd never felt this content with someone before, nothing had ever felt so right than this, it felt like I'd finally found where I belonged.

"Matt?" I whisper against the soft material of his shirt, and as he hums to respond I feel the small vibrations through his chest, "Kiss me."

My hands move to wrap themselves around his neck as he uses his own to lift me on his feet. He wasn't greatly taller than me, so I think this was just to get me closer to him.

One of his hands stays holding me at the curve of my back while the other moves to the back of my neck as he leans down to kiss me, and as he does he stifles the gasp that tries to leave my throat.

Matt begins softly at first before I can't take it any longer, the gentle teasing of my lips too much for me and I push against him with everything I have. My hands end up in his hair tugging at the soft blonde locks as our tongues end up dancing once more. He tasted so sweet, and I moan at the contact.

As we release every single emotion in this perfect kiss we become more frantic and desperate to be closer, so as his hands settle under my butt to lift me up to his waist, I tug at his shirt pulling it over his head.

Somehow his lips end up teasing the skin just below my earlobe as run my hand up and down his back, leaving my fingers tingle as the powerful electricity flowed between us.

"Matt, oh," I moan when I feel his hardness press against my core as he is walking us back into the house and somehow up the stairs. He stops halfway up the stairs to mumble 'too many clothes' as he removes my shirt.

As he lays me on his bed and climbs to straddle me, Matt returns to kissing me softly and lovingly, and I clutch at his arms.

I giggle and he looks at me confused, with a small smile on his beautiful face, "What?"

"I had a dream like this once," I laugh under him and he shakes his head, returning his lips to my skin.

His hands take to teasing the sides of my stomach before his hand reaches behind me, to lift me to unclasp my bra. The cool air against my skin makes me gasp and he chuckles, before my hands move to unzip his jeans. I slide them down as far as I can reach where he then uses his feet to remove them.

I kiss Matt's neck as he then unbuckled my jeans and slides them down slowly, his fingers teasingly grazing my skin, they're discarded somewhere.

I'm left in a black thong and he in his boxers and I flip us over, so I straddle him.

He chuckles but it is soon stifled when my lips reach his chest, trailing slowly down. My fingers graze the skin just above his boxers, and I feel his body tense.

"You're good with your hands Gabby," he stammers and I laugh and rest my chin just below his belly button to look at him, "I know."

His eyes seem to only widen further and I place a kiss on the skin I was resting on to relax him, but the only effect I had was a shiver and cause his manhood to strain even more against my hip. I kiss along the edge of his boxers before I slip my fingers underneath the material and pull them down his leg, to release his very large cock.

I gasp at the sight of him beneath me relishing in the beauty of him and he clasp's one of this hand with my own, as I use the other to trail up his leg.

My hand closes over his shaft and a soft gasp leaves his lips as my thumb swirls around his head, and with my other hand I ever so slowly begin to pump him.

Matt's eyes clench shut and his mouth opens to let out a moan of my name, "Gabby, oh fuck," he curses as my movements only increase in speed.

His hand runs through my hair as I lower my body and my hands move to playing with his balls, and at the moment I thought he'd expect it the least, I take his head in my mouth.

"Holy fuck, Gabby, Gabby," he growls as I swirl my tongue around his head and he shivers violently, as I increase my pace on his cock. He watches me with desire and love in his eyes and then his eyes shut and his head falls back as I feel his body shake and he comes in my mouth. I never usually liked this, but this was Matt, I trusted him. He tasted wonderful.

"Gabby, whoa, Gabby," Matt pants as he comes down from his high and I kiss his hip as his breathing slows.

I straddle him once more and I stare at him as he runs his hand through his hair and then puts it behind his head, "You're amazing," he sighs, kissing my hand.

I smile and kiss him, and he then turns us over, so that he is straddling me, "Now it's my turn," Matt chuckles when I shiver.

His hands find themselves on my breasts, kneading and teasing them softly as his lips slowly trail from my jaw to my neck to my collarbone and then to my breasts to join his hands.

His mouth covers my nipple as he pinches the other, and he sucks and nips it and I moan in pleasure. _I'd never felt like this before._

Matt kisses the crevice between my breasts, "Did you dream this as well?" he asks, as he then repeats the nipping and sucking on my other nipple.

"It wasn't half as good as this," I pant, my breathing simply picked up by his touch. His hand teases my inner thigh and my hips lift off the bed to reach his fingers, but he chuckles and gently pushes me back on his bed.

Matt's lips then trail down my stomach and between kisses he says, "You don't know how long I've waited to do this with you."

"Oh, I do, oh," I gasp and my eyes fly right open his index finger runs over my wet lips. My toes curl.

I forget about time, space and reality when he inserts his long finger and I shudder around him, and I shout out at his glorious touch.

"Matt, baby," I moan as he inserts another finger, pumping me over and over each time increasing his speed. When I open my eyes Matt is watching me closely, fascinated by me.

When his thumb touches my clit and he begins swirling it with his finger I cry his name and tense as my release builds within me. My stomach is tense and my brain is muddled by his touch.

He only seems to reach deeper into me and suddenly he hits that spot and I scream, "Oh god, baby there."

I try to mumble his name after that, but my intense feelings stop me from being able to form proper words.

Matt buries his head in neck and kisses it, before whispering, "That's it Gabby, let go."

With one last touch at that precious spot, an enormous wave of pleasure washes over me and I moan out his name along with other little profanities a multiple of times.

I shudder beneath him protected by his warmth, and he slows his pace as my orgasm passes and my breathing slows.

I pull him ever closer, "That was…fuck Matt," I mumble, kissing his lips once to just show how he made me feel.

He laughs, and wraps his hand around my waist, "Matt, I want you."

Matt looks at me with desire in his eyes, "I love you," he whispers as he positions himself above me, and nudges my legs open just a little.

"I love you too," I mumble as I watch his eyes flutter closed as he slowly enters me, and a long moan leaves my mouth.

He gives me a moment to adjust to his size and then I rock against his cock, and he begins to move in a steady pace slowly building his pace.

Matt's hands play with my breasts and he quickly finds that spot inside me and repeatedly hits it.

"Oh god, baby," I pant and I roll us over, so that I can ride him.

This in turn only increases both of our pleasure as he yelps and moans, "Gabby, oh Gabby."

I rock against him harder and he nudges his hips against me to hit my clit, and I scream out.

"Matt baby, come with me," I moan and rock against him just that little harder and I feel him release within me as I feel that wave engulf me once more.

My eyes are blurry and my head is cloudy as I try to regain reality once more, and once more I find him watching me again.

"What?" I ask his warmth still within me.

"You're beautiful."

I smile and roll off him, immediately missing him inside me but I snuggle up at his side instead.

He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into his side, pulling his muddled sheets over us.

"I've never felt like this before," I whisper against the skin of his neck, playing with the light hair at the top of his chest.

Matt kisses my head, "Ditto."

I laugh, "You like that word, don't you?"

"Ever since you made me watch Ghost, then yes."

I kiss him, "So what does this make us Matt? I just wanna know in case…"

He shakes his head, "In case nothing. I love you and I want to be with you, for the rest of my life. This feels so right, so easy, so perfect, I'm not losing you."

The biggest smile graces my face and I must look like a mad woman, "Ditto," I laugh and bury myself back in his neck, where we proceed to laugh and talk until we fell asleep in the haven of each other's arms.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, a quick update for you all! I hope you like this chapter.**

**Also, I would like to hear your thoughts on the story, what you like and don't like, anything I could improve and anything you would like see in this story. I have a plot written out, but things can always be added or changed.**

**Have a lovely day!:)**

**oxoxo**

* * *

The warm sun on my face awakens me from a blissful sleep. As I open my eyes I smile, greeted with the smiling face of Matthew Casey. I'm tucked into his body as he's propped up on his side by his elbow, and his other hand is wrapped around me, holding me close.

I stretch the sleep out of my body and curl into his own, "That was definitely _no_ dream," I giggle and kiss his lips.

Matt's eyebrows burrow, "What's all the references to your dreams about?"

"Oh," I laugh, realising he had no clue what I was talking about, "Remember a while ago when I came into work flustered and Shay and Kelly were laughing at me like all day?"

His eyebrow raises, "Yeah I remember, they drove everyone crazy."

My eyes roll and my hand traces patterns on his chest, "Well it was because I told them I was having dreams...about you."

A loud laugh leaves his lips and I can feel the vibrations through his chest as I bury my face in it in embarrassment, "Awe come on Gabby, I'm irresistable, it's understandable," he jokes, nudging my arm.

"Put you're ego away Matt," I groan against his chest and punch him lightly as he strokes my hair.

"Hey... I know exactly what you mean," he whispers, "because I was having them too."

My eyes snap up, "Really?"

He nods and his fingers graze my side as he kisses my lips, mesmerizing me with his touch. I pull him closer and whisper, "Tell me about them?"

Matt chuckles and his hand grazes along my inner thigh, before my stomach grumbles as loud as a bloody earthquake with hunger, "Hmm, later. I think you're hungry Miss Gabriela."

I groan as he stands up, still gloriously nude. I get to my knees and crawl to the edge of the bed, where he's pulling on a pair a sweats, "I'm not hungry, really," I smirk, as I run my hand up his thigh, over his cock and around to his ass. He stiffens and leans down to kiss me, "Carry on and I think I won't be able to control myself."

"Good."

He laughs, "I'll go make us some breakfast, you can take a shower if you want."

I sigh and saunter into his bathroom deciding against putting a shirt on as I go, just to make him regret his decision and follow me.

I hear the stairs creak, "Nice try Dawson!"

"Screw you Casey!" I shout, reverting back to our surnames just to annoy each other more.

* * *

I find a shirt and some of Matt's boxers on the bed waiting for me as get out of the shower, smelling like him. I breathe in the air, Matt's shower gel teasing my senses.

I quickly change into his soft clothing, his scent surrounding me in a cloud of Matt, and I tousled my hair with the towel before tidying up the mess I'd made in the bathroom.

I find him in the kitchen preparing pancakes and fruit. He's still topless, his creamy skin glistening from the sun rays piercing through the window, and his muscles flex with every little move he makes around the kitchen. I notice that my shirt's draped over the chair, my shirt from last night.

"Well that's one piece of clothing that I don't have to go looking for," I laugh, leaning against the door frame.

He turns around at the sound of my voice and his beautiful blue eyes widen when he looks at me in his shirt and boxers. He gulps, "Yeah, I almost tripped over it when I came down the stairs."

I laugh again, but this time it was a little nervous, "If I recall correctly you removed my shirt on the stairs, so effectively it's your fault!"

He smirks and saunters towards me, detecting my nervousness, he stands behind me leaning over and I shiver when he whispers in my ear, "Well I recall that you were definitely not complaining."

He leaves me ponder on memories of last night and fantasies of the future while he serves up breakfast, which he places in front of me, "This is the second time you've cooked for me in a day, I think I have to repay you with dinner."

Matt leans over and places two sweet kisses on my lips, "I don't mind Gabby."

"So my homemade pizza doesn't sound good to you?" I smirk and tease him, running my bare foot up his calf.

He grins, "Sounds great," realising that I wished to stay with him and spend time with him. _Just being together was amazing._

His delicious breakfast was quickly devoured and I appreciatively hummed, "Matt that was great. Thank you."

He smiles widely again, "You don't have to thank me, I want to do this for you."

I place my hand over his own, "And I want to do this for you."

I take a deep breath and try to explain how I felt, "I don't know why Matt, but this is so easy, so natural, and I just want to show you how much I love you. I want to prove myself to you. I don't want to leave your side, in fear that this is all a dream and that I've lost you again. All I'm sure of right now is that I want you, for the rest of my life."

Matt smiles softly and gets up to hug me, he whispers gently, "You don't have to prove anything, Gabby you've always been here for me. This is not a dream and you won't lose me. I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

We stay there for a while, safe in the walls of each others arms and nothing mattered but us in that moment.

* * *

Matt and I spent the rest of the day and evening together. After breakfast, I picked up some things from my apartment and then we walked to the grocery store to get some supplies for my pizza tonight and then we walked along the pier.

_"I know we've waited so long to do this, but I'm glad we did. You are my best friend Gabby, and it just feels so right to be doing this now."_

_I smile and hold his arms as he hugs me from behind, really unsure of what to reply with, "I don't come up here as often as I should. It's so pretty."_

_Matt rests his head on my shoulder, "We can come up here as much as you like."_

_"I always used to come up here with my dad, I feel safe here. I came here when I needed to make sense of the world. The day Darden died I came here and just sat and cried. I miss him, I miss him so much."_

_"Ssh, I know, we all do. And he's gone, but that doesn't mean we have to forget him."_

_"We hardly ever talk about him anymore."_

_"But we should, we'll talk Darden everyday if that's what you want Gabby. Nobody ever meant to stop talking about him, it just hurts a lot and we all hate reliving that day."_

_"We don't have remember the bad. Remember when Darden used to hide the remote from Mouch? And then Mouch used to search our lockers to find it?"_

_Matt laughs, "Yeah, and that time when he got so drunk that he proposed to Severide and kissed me?"_

_"I think you enjoyed that."_

* * *

Then that night I made the pizza as he watched, and we talked about the guys and our families for most of the evening. It was comfortable, simple and it felt like we'd being doing this for years, maybe we had been just not in the same way.

And then that night, one thing led to another and we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves for a moment longer. Last night was again repeated, in flames of fire and passion.

"Good morning sleepy-head, come on Gabby, we have work in an hour."

"No," I pout, the sleep still in my voice, "I need more sleep."

He chuckles and pulls the sheet off me, exposing my naked body to the cold air, "Come on baby, work is calling."

"Then hang up."

Matt straddles me and his fingers tease the skin of my stomach, "I think we're gonna have to talk to the Chief today."

"What? Why?"

He strokes my cheek, kissing my hand that he held in his own, "I don't like keeping things from him baby, and I want it to come from me, before he guesses or gets told from someone else."

I nod, "Okay, but can we tell everyone else after work? At the bar maybe?"

Matt smiles widely, "Sure, that's for the best. Okay, let's go then."

I laugh and throw Matt off me, slapping his butt as I run to the bathroom, "Come on baby, work is calling," I mimic his words teasing him as he follows me in.

"You're such a tease Miss Gabriela," he winks as he captures his lips with my own, and runs his hands up and down my body in a way that causes a moan to escape from my mouth.

I'm breathless already, "I think we have some time to spare," I stammer, as he pushes me against the bathroom door and his hand wanders to my already wet core.

"Plenty of time," he pants in between kisses.

"Oh, fuck Matt!"

* * *

**(MATT POV)**

Gabby and I drove into work at the same time, but it separate cars, to at least not add to the speculation that would surely be circling the House today.

"Good morning Lieutenant!" Cruz called cheerfully as I walked through the garage, bag swept over my shoulder.

"Morning Cruz," I nod, as I head into the locker room to put away my bag.

Gabby joins me a few moments later, looking like she just dodged a bullet, "What?" I ask, noticing her flushed cheeks.

"Shay," she answers and I roll my eyes, trust Shay, "She knows that something's up."

I laugh and shut my locker, "Well that's Shay for you."

I walk towards Gabby, unable to not smile at her beauty and warmth, she was simply stunning, I couldn't resist from kissing her.

She smirks as I lean my forehead on hers, "Do you want a repeat of this morning?"

I nod and head towards the door, "Of course," I grin, leaving and walking towards the Chief's office. His door is wide open but he's on the phone, so I wait as he laughs his goodbye's and then he motions for me to come in.

I close the door behind me and walk towards the desk, _I wasn't sure whether I was nervous or worried, _"Morning Lieutenant, everything okay?" he asks, his voice as gravelly and husky as always. Any stranger would be intimidated by all 6'4 and muscle of him, until he opened his mouth. Chief could be stern, strict, intimidating, but he was also considerate, caring and understanding, the balance he created was what made him a wonderful Chief.

I sit, and tuck my fidgety hands away in the pockets of my jacket, "Yeah Chief, I just wanted you to hear it from me."

He nods and sits back in chair presenting a relaxed and open manner to me, he motions for me to carry on.

"I'm sure you heard what happened with Hallie a few days ago, and I made an idiot move with Gabby. I screwed up badly and somehow she forgave me. And well, I guess I'm just trying to tell you that we're together."

His face doesn't give away any sign of what he might be thinking so I continue, "We won't let it interfere with our work, we just..."

"Do you love her Casey?"

"Yes, very much so."

He finally smiles and a wave of relief washes over me, "Then that's all that matters. You've both been through a lot these past few months and you deserve some happiness. It's only right that this happens between you both."

I smile appreciatively, "Thank you Chief. Could you please keep this quiet, we're planning on telling everyone later." He smiles.

"Casey, I just ask you one thing," I nod at his words.

"Never let her go and never hurt her."

I smirk and rise from my hair, heading for door, "That's two things Chief," I joke, but he knows that I understand him and that I would never do that to Gabby.

"Ah get out of here before I put you through a fitness test Casey!"

* * *

**(GABBY POV)**

"Oh my god girl, will you stop with all the smiling! You're making me feel all depressed here!" Shay screeches, throwing a set of gauze's at me.

I laugh at her words, "You're so backwards Shay," and I continue to stack the shelves like normal. I feel her staring at me for a while before she gasps.

I groan and turn towards her, hands on hips, "What is it now? Is the sky too blue for you or something?"

She too places her hands on her hips and points accusingly at me, her eyes clenching like she was bursting with something, "Don't play dumb with me Dawson! You dirty skank, you slept with Casey!"

I lunge towards her and throw my hand over her mouth, "Will you keep your fog horn down!"

She swats my hand away and looks immensely pleased with herself, "Ha, so I'm right. Casey screwed you good and that's what that crazy smile is all about!"

I sigh, I guess there was no more pretending with Shay, _it only lasted for one hour, _"Yes, Matt and I had sex," _a multiple of times actually, _"but that's not just it."

Her eyebrow raises, her sharp blue eyes glaring all the information out of me and her hands never left her hips, "We're together Shay."

Shay's girliness instantly took over and she threw herself at me, hugging me tightly, "Awe, I'm so happy for you girl!"

"Me too," I whisper into her shoulder before she orders, "Right, I want all the details. Every single one. He's an animal right? How good is he? Did you screw you into next week? I bet he did."

"Yes, fucking outstandingly outrageously amazing, and yes."

Her eyebrow raises and she smirks suggestively, "Fucking hallelujah Casey!"

* * *

As we were arriving back at the House after an oven fire, Shay hops out of the van just as Matt was passing, she pats him on the back, "You did good Casey," she giggles and walks away.

He detects a hidden meaning in her words and turns to me, "Look, I didn't say a thing. She just guessed and then I couldn't lie to her," I rushed, but spoke quietly incase anyone overheard.

He smiles and his hand brushes against my own, "Hey, it's okay, it's Shay, she knows you inside out."

I laugh, soothed by him, "You don't wanna know what she was saying," I tease and walk away from him, and hear his boots stamp behind me.

"Oh I do now."

The shift passed as normal, down one moment and up the next. Shay promised that she'd keep Matt and I's relationship quiet until we told everyone tonight, at a gathering at Molly's.

So 9pm came and went and we were all headed to the bar, and I was slightly nervous as we approached Molly's. It was just a House gathering tonight, and by the time I got there mostly everyone had arrived and Herrmann was handing out beers like candy on Halloween.

I jump behind the bar, "Whoa Herrmann, I don't think Cindy would appreciate you coming home singing 'London's burning' again, do you?" I joke, nudging him out-of-the-way to finish serving Mouch.

"Ah," he says, with his husky, rusty tone, "You all loved that and you know it."

Matt arrives and the moment he does, Shay smirks and her eyebrows raise, I lean over to whisper in her ear, "You know you're next girlfriend? Well yeah, I'm gonna do exactly what you're doing to Matt and I."

"Bring it on hunny," she kisses my cheek and spins off somewhere to find Severide.

"Hey you," he smiles as I down a shot of vodka, "Nervous?"

I pull a face as the vodka burns my throat, "Very."

"Chief said he was happy for us."

My eyes widen, "Really? He said that?"

He motions for me to look behind me, and when I do I see the Chief watching us, with a soft smile on his face. He nods at us both.

"I always knew he was a softy at heart."

An hour passed before Matt looked at me in a way that said, _'now seems like the right time'_ and I couldn't help but agree, looking around and seeing that most of the House were considerably merry.

Matt joins me behind the bar and wraps his arm around my waist, and then Shay proceeds to throw herself at the bar, as drunk as a sailor.

"Hey guys, shut up! Gabby and Casey wanna tell you that they're screwing!" She slurs, but her fog horn is enough to silence the bar and cause each face to stare us.

"Oh well done fog horn!" I smirk, and look to Matt to do the talking.

"Yeah um, thanks Shay. Yes, Gabby and I are together."

Kelly raises his glass and the guys follow with drunken grins, "Well it's about time Casey!"

He then proceeds to walks towards us and smiles as he sets his drink down on the bar, "I'm happy for you guys. You deserve each other. And I know you're gonna teach each other right. Now drink up, we're celebrating you-"

"Screwing!" Shay screeches once more.

"Shay!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, just another chapter for you all!**

**oxoxo**

* * *

**(CASEY POV)**

"Severide why do we allow them to drink so much?" I sigh, as we watch Shay and Gabby singing and dancing provocatively, suggestively and damn right sexily with each other. Gabby is standing behind Shay grinding her hips against Shay's butt, as she throws her hands up with the music. Gabby then begins to sing along with the song, 'S&M', as she shakes her hips in a way that only made the bulge in my pants grow larger.

"'Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it, sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it, sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me," she sings, the shaking of her hips only quickening, and that's when Kelly and I decide that it's time to go home.

As they continue their little routine, Kelly and I interrupt, peeling two very drunk girls off of each other and they whine when the music's turned off.

"Awe come on Casey," Shay slurs, her arms wrapped around Kelly like a python, "Just because you wanna take Dawson home to play S&M, doesn't mean you get to ruin our fun!" She smirks suggestively at Gabby, who proceeds to drown in a fit of giggles as she buries herself in my arms.

"Goodnight Shay," I laugh, waving goodbye to the rest of the guys as I walk Gabby out of the bar and into my truck. _I was lucky I hadn't drunk._

She's silent for a while as she snuggles into my side as I head home, until she open's her mouth, smiles, looks up at me and says, "Matt, are you taking me home to play S&M?"

I chuckle nervously, but hope that she's that drunk that Gabby doesn't notice, as the bulge in my pants grows again, and I have to adjust my pants, "No Gabby, we're going home so you can go to bed."

"Where you'll play S&M with me?" She says drunkenly, clutching on my arm and her hand wandering to my pants. I gently ease it away.

"No, where you can sleep off this drink."

Gabby pouts, crossing her arms like a little child, even though she's drunk, she was still extraordinarily beautiful, and desiring, "I want you to have sex with me Matt."

"Gabby, you're drunk..." I try to explain, before I see tears leaking from her eyes.

"You already find me ugly," she cries, rubbing the tears from her eyes. _Oh no._ I park the car outside my house and shut off the engine and pull Gabby into my arms completely.

"I think you're the most beautiful woman I have ever set eyes on, Gabriela. I could never find you ugly. Now come on, let's go into the house and get some sleep."

I open the car door and slide out and take Gabby in my arms carrying her into the house and up the stairs. I set her on the bed, her tears slowly subsiding, and begin to take off her shoes and jeans.

"I think you do wanna play S&M," she jokes, her voice full of her upset and her cheeks puffy with her tears.

"Another time," I smile kissing her cheek, as I pull her shirt over her head. I unclasp her bra and lay her down in the bed, tucking the sheets around her body.

"I'll be right back, just have to lock up the house," I kiss her once more, before leaving to go down stairs and lock the doors and windows.

When I came back upstairs Gabby was surprisingly still awake and she watches me as I undress down into my boxers, and I then I crawl under the sheets to pull her close to my body.

"I'm scared you're gonna find someone new, or old. You might fall for Hallie again, or another girl, and I won't be able to compete. And I love you Matt, I really do, you complete me and fulfil my life. I will love you until the day I die and I will continue to do so after my death."

"Sssh, don't say silly things like that, it's just the drink talking. You are the only woman for me Gabby, I want you to know that. You will always be the woman who I want and I love you. Come on now baby, sleep."

"Promise not to leave me?" She asks, a vulnerable and frightened tone in her voice, as she clutches my chest.

I kiss her lips softly, "I promise baby."

Gabby nodded and seemed to accept this and tucked herself away in my chest to sleep.

I watched her for a while, knowing that we had to work on her self-esteem and confidence, and I had to find a way to prove to her that I was in this for the long haul. Forever.

_I hadn't realised that Gabby had been so insecure about herself and about me. Did she really think I would leave her?_

* * *

"Come on baby, we're gonna be late for dinner with your family!" I call up the stairs, as I wait for Gabby to come down.

In the past ten months a lot had changed. Gabby had recently moved in with me, and our relationship was doing great. We were doing great. It still felt natural, perfect, wonderful, easy, and we were both still unconditionally in love with each other. I looked back on the last ten months and there was not a moment that I would change. Gabby was the woman for me. I'd never felt this kind of love before, _not even with Hallie. _I'd finally found the one.

"I'm always late, they'll understand!"

I sigh, rub my face with my hand and lean against the door frame knowing that she'll probably be a while, "I know, and that's why it's so annoying."

"Five minutes Lieutenant!"

We finally got out the door fifteen minutes later and we were now headed to Gabby's parents house, "You know, the reason I was so late is because half of my stuff is still packed away in boxes. I'm gonna have to sort them out on our next day off."

I chuckle, picturing the many boxes still stuffed in one of my spare rooms, "How much more can actually be in those boxes? You've officially taken over my house woman."

She smirks sexily and runs her hand along my leg, "As if you mind baby."

I pull up at Gabby's parents house and watch as her niece and nephew play in the large front yard. As we walk towards them hand in hand, Diego runs towards me with a large grin on his face, "Matt! Matt! I scored my first goal of the season today!"

The little bumbling boy throws himself at me and I pick him up into my arms, "Wow, that's great buddy! Maybe you can teach me later?"

He nods profusely and he pokes me in my chest, "Yes, I will, because you're not as good as me."

As we walk into the house I catch Gabby watching me, with this adoring and admiring look on her face, and she smiles as her mother runs up to us, "Oh Gabriela! Matt! When am I hearing wedding bells huh? I want more grandchildren."

Gabby hugs her tightly, her eyes rolling, "Nice to see you too mama."

"Oh Matt, still as handsome as ever I see!" Gloria hugs me as I still hold Diego, and I watch as Gabby rolls her eyes.

"Mom, you're married remember."

"Speaking of married... Gabriela, hunny!" Gabby's father Carlo steps down from the porch to hug Gabby and then to shake my hand.

"Matt, good to see you boy. Everything well at the House?" He smiles, he was a large tall man, but very inviting and friendly.

I nod, "As good as they can be Carlo."

Gloria then shrieks, "Come, come, the food is almost ready. Gabriela, go say hello to your brother, he's been waiting for you for an hour."

I chuckle, "I told you how annoying your lateness is_ darling_."

"Aunt Gabby! Look at the picture I drew you! Do you like it?" Her little four-year old niece Natalia bounds up to Gabby, smiling and waving a piece of paper in her hand. Gabby kneels to meet her and opens her arms to capture the fast paced little girl.

Natalia pushes the piece of paper into Gabby's face, "Oh my Natalia! This is beautiful, thank you. Is that me?"

The brown curly-haired girl smiles and nods, seemingly very proud that her Aunt likes her picture, "Yes, and Matt. It's you two getting married!"

Gabby's jaw drops and I shuffle nervously, but we quickly compose ourselves so we don't upset Natalia, "That's sweet hunny, I'll put it up on the wall when we get home!"

She nods handing the picture over to Gabby, "Aunt Gabby, you know when you and Uncle Matt _do_ get married, can I be Bridesmaid?"

Smiling softly she kisses Natalia's forehead, "Of course sweetie. You've spent too much time with Grandma, she's putting ideas into your head."

"Matt! Matt! Can we play soccer now please?!" Seven year old floppy haired Diego raced up to me, ball in hand and a barrel full of energy.

I grab his hand and take him out into the back yard, "Sure Diego, do you want to play in goals?"

"Uh huh, yes Uncle Matt! It'll be easy stopping your goals!"

I tickle his stomach and he erupts into a fit of giggles, "You cheeky little monkey Diego!"

* * *

**(GABBY POV)**

I join Mom, Dad, Antonio and his wife Maria on the back porch while Natalia plays in the sandbox and Matt plays football with Diego.

"Did you see that Dad? I saved another one!" Diego grins widely searching for approval from his father and Matt pretends to pout in the grass.

Antonio smiles, "You're doing great buddy, seems to me like you're wearing Matt out!"

Matt raises an eyebrow at his joke, "I can still beat him, come on Diego, I bet you can't save this one!" He teases the little lad, who crouches with his hands out wide to save the ball.

After 10 minutes Matt gave up, after being completely beaten by Diego. He collapses by my side and takes a large gulp of his lemonade, "That kid is a bundle of energy. I haven't stopped!"

I laugh and tuck my head into his neck, "If you think Diego is bad, wait until Natalia gets a hold of you, she can go for hours!"

He shakes his head jokingly, "I think I'll leave Natalia to you," he laughs, kissing my head.

"You're great with them Matt," I sigh softly, resting against his chest feeling his chest rise and fall with every breath.

Matt buries his face in my hair as we watch Antonio take his turn with Diego, "Yeah, they're great kids Gab."

I look up at him and couldn't help the thought that he would be a great father rush through my head, "Yeah, they are."

After I played with Natalia in the sand box for a while she then fell asleep in my lap as we adults chatted on the porch, and moments later Diego soon followed, so Antonio lifts Diego in his arms and says his goodbyes, "I think it's time we make a move before I lose all energy to carry these kids to bed," he chuckles, kissing mom's head and hugging dad with one arm.

"They get their ability to sleep so deeply from you Antonio," mom jokes, kissing Natalia's and Diego's head.

"I'll take her out to the car if you want?" Matt asks quietly, as I struggle to stand with Natalia in my arms. I smile and kiss her head, "Sleep tight angel," I whisper as I hand her over to Matt. He smiles down at her softly, and follows Antonio down to the car.

Maria comes over to hug me, "We must do this more often Gabby."

"Yeah we should hun, I've missed the kids."

She laughs softly, "Yeah, they really seem to love Matt."

I couldn't help but smile widely at this, "He loves them too."

She pats my shoulder before heading out to the car, "Don't wait too long Gabby."

* * *

"I haven't moved your god damn fucking tool box!" I scream clenching my fists in anger. I was ready to kill him. I was ready to throttle him with my bare hands. This had gone on for a good ten minutes, and neither one of us was showing signs of letting up.

He stares at me accusingly, his hands thrown up in a fit of anger.

_I swear to god you're a fucking asshole._

"You must have! I left it on the shelf in garage and now it's not there Gabby!"

"Why the fuck would I move your stupid tool box? I hardly go in the garage!"

"Well either way you must have, and I need it to fix the porch! So will you just rattle your stupid fucking brain and tell me where you put it!"

_My fist is going to collide with your face in a minute._

I slam the tea-towel down on the table and throw him a look that would kill, "I haven't moved it! And who cares anyway, you're fucking useless anyway!"

Matt's jaw locks, "For fuck sake I hate you."

_He looks so sexy when he's angry._

"Well that's great, because I hate you too!"

We stare at each other for moment in silent, the overwhelming anger taking over us, before we rush towards each other and latch on to each other, frantically kissing one another.

He pushes me up against the wall as I wrap my legs around his waist, his lips roughly against mine as our anger fuels our lust, "I hate you," he growls between kisses, and I pull his shirt over his head and unbuckle his jeans.

Matt carries me into the living room and pushes me down on the sofa, yanking off my shirt and pulling my trousers from my legs. His jeans are left in the kitchen.

As he straddles me I moan "I hate you too, you fucking idiot," as his mouth closes around one of my nipples and the other is teases with his hand.

He trails towards my stomach but I can't stand for teasing today, "Just fuck me, you stupid tool box idiot, just fuck me."

Before I even get chance to shout at him again, he rips off my panties and plunges into me, and I yelp at this sudden pleasure, "Oh hell," I groan as he quickly gathers a lightning pace.

I bite down on his shoulder and my nails scratch at his back, and he growls against my lips, "You're fucking infuriating," and his hands wander to roughly grab my ass.

"And you're a pain in my ass!" I screech as he continually hits that pleasurably spot that he knows is the undoing of me.

He chuckles darkly against my neck biting it gently, "And yet I can still make you scream Gabriela."

And with that I moan and shake and shudder when a hard orgasm washes over me, and moments later Matt follows, grunting my name.

As our highs slowly fade he collapses on top of me panting roughly, "Oh god I hate you..."

Translated to, "_Oh god I love you."_

"And I still hate you too."

Translated to, _"And I still love you too."_

He knew that and I knew that, we were together, we had fights and arguments, but that didn't change how we felt about each other. Nothing would.

And that's what made us so great.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! Hope you're all enjoying!**

**This chapter is a little longer than usual, but I really hope you like it! In the next chapter is where another kind of 'plot' comes into the story, so I hope you will look forward to that.**

**Also, I can't wait for Season 2! Literally!**

**And if the writer of 'Changing our Story' is reading my own, I would like to congratulate her on a wonderful story and ask if she could please update! You have me on the edge of my seat!**

**oxoxoxox**

* * *

"Gabby? Are you in there?" I ask softly, knocking against the bathroom door. I swore I heard crying.

Earlier this shift we attended an apartment fire. We saved most of the residents, but we got to one little boy too late and when Gabby and Shay got hold of him, he was barely hanging on to life. They fought valiantly at the scene to save him, but unfortunately they lost him. Gabby got so upset when they got back to the House that Chief had to send her home. She wasn't to happy about that but I persuaded her into doing so, telling her that there was only a few hours left on shift so she wouldn't miss much.

I left the station at ten and when I got home, I immediately rushed to find Gabby.

"Yeah," she stammers, the upset clear in her voice, "I'll be out in a minute." I hear the water in the bath swooshing around as she moves.

I couldn't bare to leave her in there alone crying and upset, so I open the door and step in, the steam from the bath making the room look foggy.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she cries, rubbing at her eyes profusely. I don't say a word, I just undress and climb into the bath behind her, pulling her into my chest and wrapping my arms around her trembling body.

Gabby's cries only increase in intensity, the tears streaming down her face faster and her breaths becoming shallower and heavier.

"Ssh baby, I'm here, I'm here."

"I just wanted to save him. He didn't deserve to die. I know it's just a part of the job, but that doesn't make it any easier. I just wish that I could have saved him."

I rock her gently with the warm water swooshing around us, "I know you do baby, you both fought for him as much as you could. You did all that you could."

"But that wasn't enough was it? He still died Matt!" She yells, her body violently shaking with anger and distress, and I wish at that moment I could have made it all go away.

My grasp on her only tightens, "Gabby you can't blame yourself for his death, and neither can you dwell on it. It's hard, I know because I've been there, we all have, but that doesn't mean you let it take over you like this. You have to remember that you save more lives than you lose Gabby, that the good you do outshines the bad."

Her body limps in my arms, now too tired to put up with a fight with her tears and sadness, "I know, it's just hard..."

She buries her head in my chest and I run my hands repeatedly through her wet hair, because I know it soothes and calms her, "Yeah, it is baby."

Gabby laid there in my arms until the bath went cold, and that's when I lifted her out of the bath and wrapped a towel around her goose-bump ridden body. I sit her down on the toilet seat as I let out the water in the bath and wrap myself in a towel, before I guide her to the bed and helped dry her legs.

"Thank you..." she whispers softly as I help her dry off, and she runs a hand through my hair.

"For what?" I ask, still wiping the droplets from her legs as I look up into her puffy brown eyes. _Beautiful._

"Everything."

I smile when I realise that that's the only answer that I was going to get, and kiss her head. When she was fully dried, I tucked her into the bed and wrapped the sheets around her, before placing the towels in the wash basket.

I climb into bed and she shuffles towards me, wrapping her arm around my waist as I put my arm around her shoulder, gently playing with the skin of her back.

"I love you Matt, you know that right?" Gabby mumbles against my chest, running her hand back and forth my arm.

"Of course I do baby, I love you too," I kiss her lovingly, glad that her tears had now stopped, but I could still taste the salt on her lips.

"Okay, good," she says quietly, before a soft snore escapes her lips and her eyes fluttered closed, sleep finally taking her.

"I will never stop loving you Gabby."

* * *

"Ow, ow Gabby!" I yelp, as she took to attempting to relax the tense muscles in my neck, after I pulled it at the scene earlier today.

"Stop being such a big baby, it'll feel good in a minute," she laughs, and her small hands still work on my sore neck.

"A minute is too long... Oh," I sigh, as my muscles relax and feel great with her touch, "Wow, that is good."

She giggles a sound that's meant to tease me, "See I told you, magic hands."

I turn in my chair and pull her down into my lap, kissing her passionately, grabbing on her pert ass, "Oh I know Miss Gabriela."

"Is that your hose or are you just happy to see me?" She smirks, feeling me against her pants.

"You wanna find out?"

* * *

**(GABBY POV)**

"I just happened to be stopping by at your _favourite _coffee shop, and being the wonderful girlfriend that I am, I picked you up a caramel latte with extra cream and caramel," I grin, prancing into his office, coffee cup in hand pushing it in his face and watching it light up.

"Hmm," he hums, putting down his pen and turning in his chair to face me, "And whatever can I do to repay you?"

I walk towards him and straddle his hips, "Now I could think of a few things Matt, but you see, you know that I'm not that quiet," I whisper the last line in his ear, and feel him shiver underneath me.

"That would be an issue, wouldn't it?" He huffs and I climb off him and swivel his chair to face his work, before draping my arms over his shoulders.

"That pile of paperwork only seems to be growing," I observe, noticing it to be considerably larger than yesterday's pile.

He chuckles, "You see, us firefighters have actual work to do, we don't have the time to go for coffee runs," and I lightly punch his chest.

"I'm PIC, so I do have work to do, I'm just putting it off," _these days the only thing I seemed to do was fill out paperwork, saving people had to fit around that._

"Yeah, I know what you mean babe," Matt sighs softly, turning his head to kiss my cheek.

"Tomorrow, I was thinking that maybe we could take a drive down to the beach? Herrmann has a painter in the bar tomorrow, so I won't be able to go down to help."

Matt smiles and kisses my hand that's clutched in his own, "That sounds great. It'll be nice to get away from this place for a while."

"Okay," I turn to kiss his lips, moaning slightly at his warmth, "I'll get everything sorted when we get home."

He kisses me again pulling me closer, his tongue teasing my lips, "I don't think you'll get chance to baby."

* * *

**(CASEY POV)**

The moment our feet touches the sand, Gabby whips off her dress to reveal as very gorgeous bikini clad body, and runs into the water with her arms waving in the breeze.

We had the beach to ourselves as this one was rarely used, so I too followed, putting down our bags, taking off my clothes and walking down to the water's edge.

She's already drenched from head to toe, her dark hair sticking to her face, but she pushes it back, "Come on, get in!" She laughs, splashing some water at me.

I walk back a little and then run and jump into the water beside her, that causes a wave of water to spray over her. Gabby squeals and yelps, and as she whips the water away from her eyes I appear in front of her, and kiss her lips with a bubbling passion.

I feel her gasp softly against my lips as I stifle the sound, before her slippery hands wind around my neck and tugs at the wet ends of my hair inducing a low growl to escape my lips as she moves to kiss at the nape of my neck.

A sly laugh leaves her plump lips as she snickers at me, "It's nice to know that I have the same effect as you do to me," she says, before throwing herself back to float on the warm water that surrounded us.

I laugh at this, _she was always surprising me, _and join her floating by her side, "Oh you do, but _I _am able to control myself, just that _bit _better."

I say this to tease her as I knew it would, and her response is to snarl at me, her dark eyebrows raised at my words, "It's just for _your_ benefit, trust me. I don't want to upset you."

Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow at her words and she knew that I saw straight through her lie, but decided to play along with her.

I scanned the beach, and we were still alone.

"Is that so _Gabriela?_" I ask, my voice like velvet, we were now facing each other rather than floating and I inch myself just that bit closer. She gulps slightly and tries her best to hide her nervousness and desire, but it does not go undetected.

"Yes. Yes it is," I could tell that she trying to convince herself of that more than she was me and I couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"Well I can tell you now that you have upset me. I always thought I was doing a pretty good job. No one else has ever complained," in any other situation my words would be taken as sad, but instead they were filled with humor and sarcasm.

"Well I'm not your _'no one else"_, she tries not to hiss, but the words come out bitter no less.

_Oh, so that is what this is._

"You like to beat around the bush don't you?" I sigh and run my hand through my hair, "Go on, out with it."

She stares at me for a few seconds, _deliberating_, before her rant began, "You never realise that you're doing it, but you do. You've never said her name, but sometimes for a split second, you don't see me, you see her. The things you do are the things you used to do to her, and you assume that I'll like it. And it's not that I don't, it's just... you're doing what your _used_ to, what is built-in without even knowing, as easy as tying your shoelaces. And it hurts to know that you sometimes see her and not me."

"I..." I could barely speak, I was astounded. _Had I really been doing this?_ It hurt me to know I had and it hurt me to know I hurt Gabby.

"Please don't take me for a fool and deny it Matt."

"I wasn't going to."

"Then talk to me," she pleaded and edged closer, her face filled with sadness.

"I've never meant to hurt you - I haven't even realised I've been doing it - but I see you as a completely separate person. I want to love you in my own way."

"Maybe we got together too quick, maybe you didn't have enough time to get over Hallie..."

"Gabby," I said firmly, to recapture her attention that focused on making excuses for my mistake, "I want to love you in my own way."

Her lips purse and she blushes, but doesn't avert my gaze, "Then do so," she whispers quietly, and barely hear her over the waves.

I smile and stroke her warm cheek, "I will, but lets stay here just a little longer."

She nods and disappears into the water, and when she does reappear Gabby is a good few feet away smirking, "Catch me if you can!"

"Yes, I can!" I shout back and duck into the water swimming deeply so she can't see me, and I creep up to her feet which I gently tug when I reach her.

"Jesus christ Matt! Are you trying to kill me?"

* * *

When we arrive home the night had gone black and cold, so we rush inside to escape the chill that brushed around us. I place the bags down beside the door, as Gabby watches me intently, her eyes wide with longing. I take her hand and lead her the sofa and as she sits I pull out a silk blindfold from my pocket. With my eyes I ask her if this was okay, and she nods slightly so I tie it around her eyes. Before I move to get some blankets, I lean down and kiss her lips and she gasps and pulls me closer, I chuckle quietly, "I will love you in my own way."

I feel her shudder as I move away to grab some blankets from the cupboard, and I set them out in front of the fire which I light. I lay many pillows on the floor just in front of the fire. When I turn to look at Gabby she is biting her lip in anticipation and I smile softly, _absolutely beautiful._

"Gabby?"

"Yes?" She whispers, and I take her hand and lead her to the blankets.

"Lay down please," I say, and kneel beside her. Her breathing quickens slightly as I run my hand over her leg and the warmth from the fire warms us both, but the flush in her cheeks is not from the heat.

I couldn't help but touch her cheek the warmth lighting my skin on fire, but in a good way. The flames were welcomed, desirous, wonderful, longing, loving.

I take a deep breath as I gently straddle her carefully as to not to place to much of my weight on her soft body, and not able to resist any longer I press my lips against hers. The action takes her by surprise and she moans into my mouth, as I massage her tongue with my own. Ignoring the heat from the crackling fire, my skin erupts in goosebumps. Her tender touch against the nape of my neck feels so wonderful that I groan and by tugging at the damp ends of my hair, Gabby pulls me closer.

Her leg lifts and her dress bunches against her hips, and she drapes her leg over my back to keep me close to her. I was positioned directly over her hot core and before I completely let go and forgot out what I planned to do here, I chuckled against her lips and pulled back slightly.

"I'm loving you tonight Gabriela," I mumble, my voice husky and deep from her touch, and I straighten up and my hands go to unbuttoning Gabby's purple dress.

The inability to see adds the shock of my every touch, and when my fingers graze over her skin as it is exposed by every button that is undone, she lets out a shaky sigh which is followed by a low moan.

When I pull the purple fabric from her skin, my breath is taken away by the sight of her creamy caramel skin as it is whenever I see it, and her stomach tenses when I run my hand over it. I waste no time in removing her black bra that reveal her perky breasts and I kiss the crevice between them, before I run my hands down her luscious curves and hook my fingers on her panties. As I pull the lacy fabric teasingly slow down her smooth legs, the intensity of our intimacy hits her and she moans loudly, "Matt, you're gonna drive me crazy."

I chuckle against her stomach before kissing it with wet lips, "That's kind of the idea."

She tugs at the blankets to stop herself from pulling the blindfold away, _she was loving this_, "You wait until it's my turn baby," she moans as I clasp my mouth over her pert nipple.

I swirl my tongue around her nipple and my fingers tug and tease her other, and when I gently bite down on her nipple a loud groan leaves her mouth and she arches her back. I ease her back to the comfort of the blankets and repeat the same process on her other nipple, before kissing all over her breasts.

She was shocked when my lips lead upwards rather than downwards, and as I pass, I whisper a humoured, "Patience," in her ear. I kiss her neck, her shoulders, down her arms and to her hands and back, before taking her lips with my own once more, missing her taste and love.

I allow our tongues to dance for a while before she tugs at my shirt, "At least let me feel just a little of you."

I sigh and chuckle and pull the shirt over my head, before my lips trail down the crevice of her breasts and down the curves of her stomach. Her hands try to push me away from her stomach, but I shake my head against her skin and use my hands to her own, "I love every part of you, you're beautiful."

Underneath the fiery hot head, there was an insecure woman who I only wished to show her how beautiful she really was.

"Matt..." she sighs, but knows its useless to argue with me on this topic, "You're beautiful, just the way you are."

I kiss over her hips and down her both of her legs, feeling the warm soft skin under my longing lips.

And when she least expected it, I clasp my mouth of her nipple once more and slipped my hand between her legs and felt her wetness. Her mouth opens but she is too shocked to make a sound, but when I slip my index finger into her heat she moans loudly and mumbles, "Matt, oh..."

I gather a steady rhythm before I insert another finger and I kiss her again, trapping a moan with my lips, and then I swirl my thumb over her little sensitive bundle of nerves. I watch as her fingers curl before they tug at my hair.

"Oh fuck, Matt, that's so good," she moans, and I can only imagine the look in her eyes at this moment in time.

I increase my fingers pace inside of her, hitting her sensitive spot a multiple of times while my thumb teases her clit, and then I stop.

I slid down her body, but by the creases in her forehead she is confused, "Matt? Baby?"

"Oh, oh, ugh. Matt!" Gabby yelps as I lick at her wet lips and my thumb is still swirling around her clit, and I quickly lick and massage her with my tongue.

My tongue teases her entrance and she shudders. I lift her leg onto my shoulder, so I could pleasure her with tongue and fingers, and I pump her with increasing speed.

"Matt! Matt! Oh god, oh, I'm...ugh..." she moans as I feel her muscles clench and contract against my fingers and watch as her body quakes and shudders as an orgasm rips through her.

I slow my pace as her orgasm washes through her, and listen to her mumble gloriously, "Oh, oh, Matt, oh."

And then I kiss up her stomach and to her lips, so she could taste herself on my lips.

Her hands pull at my jeans, "Make love to me Matt, love me."

My jeans and boxers were off at lightning speed and she pulled my hips over her own, and I slowly entered her causing as both to let out moans of pleasure.

As I gain pace, I grasp both of her hands in my own as I made love to her, to show Gabby how much I wanted, needed and loved her. I wanted to hold her forever.

She felt as wonderful as ever as she clenched around my cock, and it took neither of us much time before we were close to orgasm.

"Matt, baby, oh, come with me baby," she pleads and clenches around me again to add to my pleasure and I as I thrust into her for the last time, both of us are washed in waves of our orgasm together.

I clutch her close as we ride out the waves and my hands never leave hers, and I mumble repeatedly, "Gabby, Gabby," into her ear, as our bodies relax into each others.

I roll onto my side and remove her blindfold, greeted by her passionate brown orbs, and pull her into my body pulling the blankets over our panting bodies. Gabby clutches at my skin and run my hands up and down her back, "Matt, I love you."

I smile against her wild hair, "I love you too Gabby, you're the only one for me baby."

"I know," she sighs and I feel her body limp as sleep becomes her, and watch her for a while as we were wrapped in a mountain of blankets in front of the fire, _she looked so at ease, peaceful, beautiful._

_My beautiful Gabriela._


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, so I kind of lied about this chapter introducing the new plot, but this had to happen so when Gabby returned to work she'd be like 'OMG.'**

**And yeah, then that's where the plot continues. **

**So I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**oxoxoxo**

* * *

**(GABBY POV)**

"Ambulance 61, 30 year old beaten male. Apartments on Western Avenue."

Shay rolls her eyes, this was our third call in two hours, "It's definitely one of those days Dawson."

We clamber in the van and Shay starts the sirens and we we're whizzing away, "It's been ten months already Shay."

Her brows burrow and she throws me a look like she's contemplating whether or not I'm crazy, "Come again?"

"Matt and I... we've been together for ten months Shay," and I felt crazy for saying it. _Ten months already? _It all felt like an amazing dream.

"What? Ten months already?" Her jaw drops and I can tell she's thinking 'where has the time gone?' The blonde bombshell turns to look at me and she smiles softly, "I'm so happy for you hunny."

I bite my lip back, "I'm the happiest I've ever been."

She smirks slyly, "Well, why wouldn't you be? From what_ I've_ heard girl, you both can't seem to keep your hands off each other. The showers Dawson? Really?!"

My mouth drops open and then I smirk back, "How did you find out about that?!"

"Kelly was going to take a shower, and well, he heard _you_ in particular. And he couldn't help but tell me!"

I burst out laughing, "Awe, poor Kelly. I'll have to tell Matt about this..."

Shay laughs again and her bright blue eyes are twinkling with humor, "Kelly beat you to it!"

"So how long have you known then?"

"A while. We've all been watching you, prancing around all innocently like you haven't been a dirty girl in the showers!"

I groan and place my face in my hands, "You're so humiliating."

"Oh, man up Dawson! So, tell me all about it!"

My eyebrow raises, "I thought you were gay?"

"Exactly!"

* * *

We head into the block of apartments carrying our equipment, and an old lady points us to the right apartment. The door was already on its hinges and when we went inside the place was a mess, and a unconcious male was laying on floor covered in blood.

I checked his breathing first while Shay attended to his head wound, "Breathing is steady but too slow for my liking, we're gonna have to move him quick."

"Got it," Shay nods, and places a C-Collar around his neck.

The wardrobe door slams open and a big tall guy stalked out, looking ready to murder someone, "You ain't going nowhere."

"This is Ambulance 61, we need police backup on Western Ave," Shay whispers into her radio as I put myself between this guy and our patient.

"Ambulance 61, backup en route to your location."

I put my hands up in surrender to this guy, but this only makes his expression more angrier, "Look, I'm just doing my job. Back off."

He snarls and lunges forward, grabbing my neck and slamming me against the wall, "Who do you think you're talking to woman?!"

Shay is staring in horror and I can tell she is contemplating attacking this guy, "Shay, run!" I order, my voice high and desperate as I struggle for air.

I hear the sirens in the background so Shay must hear them too, she glances out of the window and then runs out to get the police, "Get off me!" I gasp and uselessly try to fight against his strong body.

My eyes flutter closed as he laughs darkly, my body not getting enough oxygen, and he slams my head against the wall and drops my limp body on the floor.

I gasp for air, but now I feel unconsciousness taking me as a sharp pain shoots through my head and I realise I'm screaming when he kicks me in my stomach.

That's when I hear a gunshot and he drops to the floor next too me, his eyes lifeless. I then feel Shay's shaky hands on me, begging me to stay with her.

"You're gonna be okay hunny. Just keep you're eyes open, okay? Stay with me!" She cries, as she puts an oxygen mask on my face.

I only feel Shay pulling me onto a board before I can no longer keep my eyes open and darkness becomes me, unconsciousness taking over.

* * *

**(CASEY POV)**

Squad and Truck were mixed together on sofas and chairs as we watch the Blackhawks on Tv. Our shouts of frustration at the players all muffled into one large noise. I hear Mills behind us cooking, the sweet smell of pork filling the air as he too, curses at the screen.

"Oh, come on! That is not a penalty!" Severide shouts, his glass of orange juice in hand that tips on the floor.

"Where the hell did they get this ref? My crazy old aunt could do better than this!" Herrmann yells, his rusty voice filled with annoyance.

And then the screen went blank.

"Casey?" Chief calls from behind us. We all turn to him, remote in hand, and attempt to argue, but we're are stifled by the look on his face. Chief was worried.

"Yes Chief?" I ask tentatively, as I move to stand before him.

At that moment Kelly's phone rings and he answers it, his face twisted with worry, "Shay? What? Calm down...I can't understand you...What? Dawson?"

My heart stops and a fear rips through me like nothing I have felt before. _Gabby._

I vaguely feel Chief's hands on my arms to steady me and he roughly gruffs my name to catch my attention, "Casey. Look at me. She was attacked, but Lakeshore said she's stable. Do you understand?"

I shake my head at him, "Gabby?"

"Matt, we're gonna take you to the hospital okay? And when we finish shift we're gonna head over too."

Chief drives Kelly and I to Lakeshore, and all the while I sit and stare out the window. Scared and frightened, I can't help but let tears fall.

_What if I get there and she's gone? What if I lose her? I can't lose her. I wouldn't be able to live. She's my life. I should have been there, should have protected her. Lakeshore says she's stable, but who's to say that doesn't change? What if I don't get to say goodbye? I don't want to say goodbye! I love her, my angel. I can't lose her, and I won't. Gabby's strong, a fighter, she always says that she's not going anywhere without me. But, just what if? What if nothing, Gabby would knock me senseless for dwelling on what if's. I'm not going to do that to her, to myself. Gabby's going to be fine. _

Chief drops us off, but he doesn't stay. He has to get back to the House, to reassure the guys and to watch over Truck and Squad. Shift finished in 2 hours.

Kelly has trouble keeping up with me and I roboticly find Shay, shaky and crying in the waiting room. I don't hesitate but to take her into my arms, to comfort both her and myself.

"What happened Shay?" I stutter, as we shake in each others arms. Kelly places his hand on the small of Shay's back, but he doesn't cry, he just stares at us, his eyes filled with fear and sorrow.

"He just came out of nowhere and he attacked her. She made me leave, I shouldn't have left her alone! The police shot him, and when I got hold of her again she was losing conciousness. When I got her here she was stable, but unconscious and I had to tube her. Her neck was swollen!"

"Swollen?" I stammer, my voice trembling with every breath, "How?"

"He strangled her Matt," Shay squeezes me tighter now, with the rare use of my first name she felt the need to comfort me more now and she could tell I was falling apart in her arms.

"I'm going to kill him," and they way they both looked at me told me that they believed me. Kelly guides me to a chair.

"Uniforms shot him dead Matt."

We wait in silence. Kelly tucks Shay under his arms as her sobs subside and I get up and pace, until Kelly tells me to sit back down.

"What do I do if...?" I whisper, a lost tone in my voice, Shay doesn't let me finish.

"Don't you dare Matt. She's going to be fine. She's _alive,_" she hisses furiously at me, but something in her eyes told me that she had considered the same thing.

"I can't lose her Shay, _never._" I cry, my cheeks dampening once again, and this time Kelly came to hug me.

"Matt, man, this is Gabby we're talking about. You're not going to lose her, she's not going anywhere. Now, look at me. You have to be strong for her okay? You hear me?"

He says this in a way of absolute resolution and I don't have it in me to doubt him.

"Where's Antonio? Gabby's parents?" I then ask, turning to Shay.

"He's in Indiana with work, he's getting the next flight out. Her parents are in Detroit visiting friends, they're on their way."

"Family of Gabriela Dawson?" A tired voice asks, standing in the doorway watching us.

"I'm her boyfriend." I say and step towards him. My eyes burn holes in the file he's carrying.

The middle-aged man with greying hair and crinkles around his eyes, sighs and opens the file, "Gabriela has suffered a serious concussion, so we don't expect her to be awake for the next few hours, and her airways are swollen, although that is nothing to worry about. She does have two broken ribs and internal bruising, but we expect that to heal very quickly. I know it sounds bad, but she's doing very well. She's certainly a fighter."

He smiles softly and places his hand on my shoulder, "Can I see her?"

"Yes, I can take you now if you like?"

I turn to Shay and Kelly, and they both nod, urging me to go with the doctor, "Just come and tell us how she's doing soon, okay?" Shay asks, clutching Kelly's hand.

I nod and the doctor leads me down the hall, and with each step my feet get heavier. And when he stops in front of a door, I stop just short of it. I was a little afraid of what I would find on the other side of this door.

"Just remember it looks worse than it is Mr...?"

"Casey," I whisper, my eyes never moving from the cloudy glass windows in the doors. He pats my shoulder once more and then heads back down the hall.

I stand outside for a moment taking deep breaths, composing myself, but then I realise I would never be ready to see her like this, so I open the door and rush inside.

My rushed stride is halted when I lay eyes on her.

She was pale against the white sheets. The creamy caramel skin that I adored gone. Even from the distance that I stood away from her bed, I could still see the dark purple bruising on her neck. My hands clenched in anger. She had an IV in her hand, connected to a drip. Thin wires escaped her gown and lead to the heart rate monitor, beeping continuously with every beat of her strong little heart. I was somewhat glad she was asleep, because I knew the pain from her broken ribs and internal bruising would be very painful for her.

I only wished to see her eyes.

I sat in the chair beside her bed, clutching her hand and stroking her curly hair fanned out around her. Her skin was warm against mine, a silent comfort.

I didn't care about how much time passed, I just sat and watched her, protecting her.

"Gabby, baby," I mumble, kissing her hand in my own, "I love you baby."

My attempt at waking her didn't work, so I continued to sit and stroke her cheek, and hoped that she would wake in her own time. When I bother to look at the clock I realised it was 11.05pm, nearly two hours since I'd last seen Kelly and Shay. The rest of the House would have been here ages ago then.

Someone clears their throat in the doorway and when I look up, a little old nurse is smiling softly at me, "I've got a blonde bombshell nagging me to come find you."

I smile softly, _that's how Gabby describes Shay,_ "I'll go see her now, thank you."

"Are you Matt?" She asks, stepping to the end of Gabby's bed.

I nod and her smile widens. Her face was dull with age and wrinkling, but her eyes were young and free, "When we first got her into the bed she was conscious for a few moments, and she didn't say anything but your name hunny."

I eyes set back on the beautiful woman in front of me, "She loves you son."

"I love her too."

She then nods her head to the door, "Go on. Go see your friends, I'll watch her while your gone."

I mumble a 'thank you' as I leave, not taking my eyes off Gabby until the door closes in front of them.

As I walk down the hall, Shay appears in the doorway of the waiting room, watching me tentatively.

"She's okay?" She asks hopefully, letting the door close behind her as she comes towards me.

"She's okay," I repeat, but with no question in my voice, and it felt good to hear the words aloud. That she was going to be okay.

Shay throws herself into my arms and a happy squeal leaves her mouth as I feel my shirt dampen with her joyful tears. I lead her into the waiting room, where I'm greeted by every worried face of Firehouse 51 in one tiny room.

Their worried eyes follow me, before I smile, "Gabby's doing fine," and then the tension is released and every smiles and claps.

"She's battered and bruised, but she'll be out hospital within a couple of days," I tell the Chief, who then pats my shoulder. He nods and smiles softly, before Kelly wraps his arms around me.

"See man, nothing to worried about. Our Dawson's a fighter!" He comforts me with one arm and Shay with the other, a relieved tone in his voice.

As I passed around the room to be hugged Herrmann then calls it quits with his rusty voice, "Aah, come on guys. Let the Lt. get back to his girl."

Catcalls then fill the room and as I'm pushed to the door, I grab Shay's hand, "You wanna come and see her?"

She nods her head and follows me away from the catcalls and cheers. When I open the door for her to go inside she rushes to Gabby's side and hugs her, "Oh hun, I'm so sorry."

The nurse smiles and nods as she leaves the room, and I resume my position beside Gabby. Shay pulls up a seat on the other side of the bed and holds Gabby's hand, "It wasn't your fault Shay."

She smiles somberly, her eyes fixed on the monitors checking Gabby's vitals, her training kicking in, "I know, I just... maybe things would have turned out differently if I stayed."

"If you had, then both of you would be laying in a hospital bed."

We then wait in silence and after a while Shay falls asleep holding Gabby's hand, now knowing that she was fine and I watch over them both as the night ever darkens.

It was two in the morning when the wild beeping broke me from staring at Gabby, this woke Shay too and when she noticed my worried expression, she looked at the monitors, "She's waking up."

I then watch as Gabby's brown eyes flutter open and her brow creases, "Matt, Matt," she mumbles, her voice stifled.

"Sssh, baby I'm here. Don't speak, I'm here," I sooth, running my hand over her hair and gazing down at her with a smile.

"Matt, come here," she whispers and lean closer to her, to which she responds by pressing her lips to my own.

"I'm sorry," she cries, droplets of tears escaping her eyes and running down her cheeks as she tightens her grasp on my hand.

"Sssh, you have nothing to be sorry about baby, let's just get you better."

"I love you," Gabby stutters and then clutches her throat as the pain got to much for her. I kiss her neck, "I love you too baby, now don't speak, let your throat heal."

Her head turns to face Shay, "Hey you," she mouths.

"You scared us all for moment then girl," Shay sighs before pulling Gabby into a tight hug.

"Thank you," Gabby mouths when Shay pulls away.

Shay only smiles before tears escape her eyes, "I was only returning the favour," she says, referring to the Ambulance crash.

I then stand and kiss Gabby's head, and she frowns, "Where are you going?"

I chuckle, "I'm gonna go tell the guys that you're awake and call your parents, okay?"

She nods and then mouths "Hurry," before Shay laughs as I leave room.

I head back down the hall and slip into the waiting room, where most of the guys were either sleeping or falling asleep.

"She's awake," I say and the Chief's shoulders relax with relief.

"That's great," Kelly smiles.

"Thank you guys for staying, but I think you should all head home now and get some sleep."

They all refused to go until they've seen an awake Gabby for themselves so I lead the sleepy herd down the corridor and bustle them into the room, without any nurses noticing.

"Oh, hey," Gabby squeaks as we all trample into her room and one by one, they all give her a hug.

"You gave us quite a scare there kiddo," Herrmann states as Gabby wraps her arms around him, "Won't happen again," she mumbles quietly.

"Come here girl," Mouch exhales as he hugs her, and Otis hugs both Mouch and Gabby. I chuckled at that scene.

"Just get better Gabriela," Chief instructs as he kisses her head, and then begins to shuffle the herd out of the hospital.

Kelly stayed and stepped in to hug Gabby before pulling a seat up beside Shay.

"So," Gabby mumbles, "That was an eventful day, wasn't it?"

I only chuckle nervously and pull her into my arms, "I love you and I want you to know that I need you forever. That I can't lose you."

"You're not gonna lose me."


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello guys! Hope you're all having a relaxing sunday! (it's raining here in Wales, as per usual)**

**I was a little skeptic writing this chapter, not sure what I think of it, can you please leave me a review and comment on it please?**

**Have a lovely day guys!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

**(CASEY POV)**

It was six weeks after Gabby's attack when she was cleared to return to work and today, after weeks of moaning and bitching, she finally was.

"I've missed work so much! There's only so many movies you can watch and ice cream you can eat before you actually begin to miss the life of a PIC," she laughs, her feet propped up on the dash-board as she reads through the paperwork Shay had lovingly left her.

"Yeah," I smile, trying not to be distracted by her happiness, "It hasn't been the same without you."

"Awe," her lips pout and she whips fake tears from her eyes, jokingly, "Did little Matty miss me."

"Yes, I did," I smirk, "the showers weren't the same without you," nudging her arm slightly.

"OH!" Gabby gasps and then her eyebrows raise, "I'm sure you made up for it at home."

"Touche," I grin, and pull into a space in front of the House.

"So, who's this Roxanne chick?" Gabby asks, her eyes slightly curious as she collects up all her papers in the truck and slips on her shoes.

"She's your new paramedic candidate, she's been working beside Shay and Jade while you've been off."

Gabby rolls her eyes, "Great, puppy training again. How's she doing?"

"She seems pretty cool, she's a nice girl," I reply, and her eyebrow raises with a daring look in her eye, "Okay, let me rephrase... How does _Shay_ thinks she's doing?"

"Well Shay's unsure. She said she thinks Roxanne can only handle herself sometimes, but she wants your opinion."

She nods her head sarcastically and climbs out of the truck, "Yeah, Shay would leave the dirty work for me."

* * *

"Dawson! You're alive!" Herrmann jokes as she rushes into the House, eager to see everyone even though she had been visiting most days after the pain had subsided. She heads over to him and kisses his cheek.

"I was just about to say that I'd missed you until that came out of your mouth," she teases with a smirk on her face wrapping her arms around a man she considered her brother.

"Yeah," he rasps, rolling his eyes, "We missed ya Dawson."

She makes her way around House hugging Mills, Otis, Mouch, Kelly, Capp, Chief and then Shay, each one smiling and telling her how much they had missed her.

"Awe girl, I missed you!" Shay sighs and hugs Gabby, rocking her slightly.

"I've missed you too Shay. Anything exciting happen while I was away?"

Shay smirks with a teasing look in her eyes, "Well you'll be glad to know that you missed another snake incident."

Gabby breathes a sigh of relief and holds her hand up to tell Shay to not elaborate anymore, "I do not want to know. I still have nightmares from the last one!"

Gabby moves over to Roxanne, the small blonde watching Gabby's interactions with everyone from the kitchen, "Hey, Roxanne right?"

She smiles wearily as Gabby shakes her hand, "Yeah, it's nice to meet you Dawson."

"Nice to meet you too. How are you finding Engine 51? They treating you right?"

* * *

**(GABBY POV)**

Roxanne was a small petite blonde, cute, pretty. She seemed quite shy too, but no doubt easy to get along with.

"Nice to meet you too. How are you finding Engine 51? They treating you right?" I smile softly, a joking tone in my voice to try to make her feel at ease with me.

Her blue eyes flicker behind me for a moment before returning to my own as she rocks on her heels, and when I take a sneaky look behind me Matt was standing there.

My brows burrow for a second but I think nothing of it, "Yeah, it's great here. Everyone's lovely," she replies with an inkling of hidden meaning in her voice, taking a bite of her apple.

"Good..." I get cut off by the alarm before I can say anything else.

"Ambulance 61, possible heart attack in Heath park."

As we rush out to the van I give Matt a quick peck on the lips, "Go get em'," he smirks as I almost skip to the van with excitement.

_I'd missed this place._

"Well, that was easy," I say as Shay parks the van back in the garage, she smirks and rolls her head in my direction.

"We're starting you off slow Dawson, wouldn't want you straining yourself," she winks and I poke my tongue out at her.

I roll my eyes at her and then look at Roxanne who was off somewhere else, "You okay hun?"

I break her out of her trance and she looks at me slightly shocked, "Y-Yeah, I'm good."

I nod, deciding not to push it, "Okay."

When we clamber out of the van I find Antonio waiting for me with Matt, "Hey you, what you doing here?"

"Just checking up on my little sis," he smirks, hugging me, "No, really, why are you here?"

"Okay," he sighs, giving up, "I need you to do me a favour."

"You want me to babysit and yes I will Antonio," I say, seeing right through him, "You know, you're meant to be a cop, where's you're poker face?" I tease, nudging his arm with my own.

"Funny, I'll drop them off here tomorrow morning after your shift?"

"Sure, that's cool," he then hugs me, shakes Matt hand and leaves.

"So," Matt says, throwing his arm over my shoulder, "How will we entertain the little Dawson's?"

"We'll find something," I pat his chest and grin widely, "Diego's yours."

"Oh great, I'll be out by noon then," he smirks, remembering Diego's never-ending energy.

"You'll live."

* * *

"So how's the baby process coming along?" I ask Shay as we make our way to the kitchen, thankful to have a quiet minute alone with her.

She smiles, her face lighting up with happiness and excitement, "Great, absolutely great! We're just waiting until I'm in the window, and then we're headed to the clinic."

I throw my arms around her, "That's amazing! I'm so happy for you guys!"

"I just get butterflies in my stomach every time I think about it..."

"Hey," I nudge her, "Soon that'll be a baby. You're gonna be a great mom Shay," I reassure her, as along with her excitement she was nervous too.

"I can't wait Dawson! It's just so amazing, to be mom to this little bundle..." I listen to her cute ramblings as the smell of Peter Mills' cooking floods our nostrils.

"Mmm, that smells...great," I stutter as we enter the break room because I catch sight of Matt and Roxanne at the table with their heads tilted towards each other, laughing and joking, while Roxanne had her hand on his arm, stroking it softly.

Shay watches me as I gulp slowly with a sympathetic look in her eyes, "Hey, Peter Mills, whatcha cooking?" I call cheerfully, and move behind the counter avoiding Matt's gaze.

"My infamous lasagna, perfected to a T," he grins proudly, and continues making the garlic bread.

"Well, it smells great," I say, feeling Matt and Roxanne's stare on me, but she had thankfully moved her hand from Matt's arm, "I'll help?"

"Sure," Pete smiled and hands me some dough to roll out, I hear Matt's chair scratch along the floor and when I look up he was rounding the counter towards me.

He stands behind me, his chest pressed gently against my back and leans his head against my own, whispering in my ear, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," I breathe softly, it was hard to stay mad at him when he was this close to me. And at that moment I felt like he only wanted me.

_Maybe I saw it wrong? Maybe I saw what I most feared, rather than two people, friends, laughing and joking with each other?_

"Gabby..." he warns, noticing that something was up and knowing that I often kept things bottled up.

"I'm fine, honestly Matt," reverting my eyes to the dough in front of me because they'd give me and my lie away.

"Okay," he sighs and rocks back on his heels before kissing my head and then moving in the direction of the garage.

I watch as he goes and don't fail to notice Roxanne following him a moment later.

* * *

Pete was just about to serve the wonderful smelling lasagna when the alarm sounded and distracted our grumbling stomachs.

"Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, building fire."

And as we'd done a thousand times before, we all raced off to our respectable vehicles and drove away, hoping to save just one more life.

I was patching up a small head wound when Chief disturbed my concentration, "Dawson, we need you to go in with Mouch and Otis. The fire's secured in the west wing, the east is safe. Possible gunshot wound on the fourth floor on the east wing. Can you do it?" Chief asks tentatively, it wasn't often he sent a Paramedic into a burning building, but if he was, he was confident in doing so.

"I can do it Chief," I state confidently and grab my gear, before following Mouch and Otis into the building.

The floors were slightly cloudy from the smoke as we moved up, but Mouch said it was nothing to worry about.

"Just stay close Dawson, you'll be fine," Otis reassured as we make it to the fourth floor. The victim was laying in the middle of the corridor and large pool of blood surrounded him.

"Mouch, do you have the victim?" Chief's voice booms over the radio, interrupting my work on the gauze.

"Yes, Dawson's treating him now."

"You have to get her out now, fire's in the air vents. Move now!" Chief instructs, and his words can not be argued with.

"Shit, come on Dawson, time to move," Otis states and moves to pick up his legs.

"He's bleeding out too quickly, if we move him he'll die," I state and continue to pack gauze into his wound.

Mouch grabs at his arms and Otis at his feet, "We move now Dawson, Chiefs orders," Mouch says.

"Let me tape the gauze first Mouch," I snap and slap the tape on the gauze, fastening it in place. The room was getting thicker with smoke and I could feel the rising temperature.

"Mouch! Get out now, smokes gone black!" Chief screeched over the radio, and it was then that fear hit me.

Mouch and Otis grab the guys arms and legs and pull him towards the stairs, and the air vents above us and below us explodes, leaving a gap in the floor, separating me and guys. The heat in the room only intensifies.

"Dawson!"

I stare at the gaping hole, the flames licking along the floor and stood frozen, my feet planted to the floor and they refused to move. Fear twisted my stomach and I felt sick. Mouch and Otis stare on in horror.

"I'm going in! Let me go! Kelly let me go!" Matt's voice over the radio snaps me out of me trance and I stare at the guys, pleading for them to guide me through this.

"Dawson, jump! You have to jump!" I hear Mouch's voice instructing me, but no matter how hard I tried to concentrate the fiery hot room was distracting me. The smoke was suffocating, even with my mask on.

"Dawson, jump!"

I step back after hearing the pure fear in Mouch's voice, and run. I throw myself over the gaping hole and land sideways, just millimetres from the edge. I feel their hands pull me away from the flames.

I nod to them, a signal that I'm okay and a thank you, and we rush to the stairs taking them two at a time. Blood drops from the victims wound as we go.

"Mouch? Where are you? Mouch, do you copy?" Chief's fear was clear, even through the jagged sounds of the radio.

Mouch doesn't answer but I doubt he could if he wanted to, he just focus' on getting on closer and closer to the ground floor. We were on the third.

"Mouch, Otis, Dawson, do you hear me?"

Second floor.

"Where are you?!"

First floor.

"Damn it! Does anyone copy? Where are you? Someone talk to me!"

Ground floor.

We could the light through the smoke and we were headed for the door dragging each other along, three in and four out, alive.

"Chief, I see them!" I hear Herrmann calling and suddenly he and Cruz are at our sides, pulling us out of the building, out of reach of the flames.

I pull off my mask desperate for clean air, the fear had knocked the air out of me and I was panting for breath.

My knees give way under me and I force myself to sit on the curb before shaky hard arms throw themselves around me.

"Oh god Gabby, don't you ever do that to me again, you hear me? I thought... I thought. You could have died!"

My hands grasp at his cheeks and force his tearful eyes to look at me, "Look at me. I'm here, I'm here Matt."

His lips press against mine for a brief moment, before I hear the ambo whizz away with Shay, Roxanne, Mills and the victim inside.

"I'll have to catch a ride home with you," I smile softly, comforting his shaky body with my smoke-stained one.

* * *

**(CASEY POV)**

I find her in the bathroom bracing herself against the sink, the water running needlessly from the tap. She's staring at herself in the mirror, but her eyes are distant and remote and I know that she's not seeing herself in that mirror.

"Gabby?" I ask tentatively, stepping towards her frozen body. Her eyes move to look at me in the mirror before she uses the running water to scrub the smoke stains from her face and arms.

Her scrubbing of her skin is to intense to not cause any pain so I place my hand over hers to stop her, and her voice breaks, "Is that what it's like for you?"

"Yes," I answer simply, because she knew that was the answer anyway, "But it's my job Gabby, I'm trained for that."

She bites her lip, a clear sign of her nervousness and fear, "I saw that hole in the floor and I thought that was it. I was frozen, I couldn't move and yet I knew if I didn't I was gonna die. If it wasn't for the fear in Mouch's voice I doubt I would have moved. I heard you're voice over the radio and then I knew how it felt for you, how it feels when you hear me screaming at you to get out. To hear the Chief yell and lose himself to his fear, shouting at you to get out because the smokes gone black. I've been at enough scenes to learn that when the smoke has gone black you barely have minutes, but I _made_ them stay so I could tape up his wound. I could have been _responsible_ for their deaths Matt, how do you deal with that?"

I was unable to do anything but to pull her into my chest and wrap my arms around her so tightly that it was definitely hurting, the tears in my eyes stung from the hurt in her voice, "I'm responsible for their_ lives_ Gabby, and we're all trained to run into burning buildings and know that we may not come out. _You're_ not. You're trained to do your job and that's what you did, and we do ours. Mouch and Otis shouldn't have given you that extra second, they should have grabbed your ass and ran. But they did and they got you out alive Gabby. We've all been in that situation and you can't let it get to you, you just have to thank you're lucky stars and move on because you know that building could have been the death of you but it wasn't. That fact that all three of you are here_ alive_, is what matters the most."

"But I don't think it should be you going in next time, if needed..."

"No," she snaps and her eyes glare at me, "_I'm_ PIC. I make the hard decisions so Shay doesn't have too, it's my call. She's getting ready to get _pregnant_ Matt, I'm never going to put her in that situation. And what, I let Roxanne the _candidate_ go in? I'm responsible for her, not the other way round."

"Okay, okay," I try to calm her by putting my hands on her shoulders, "Today was a mistake. We should have found the fire in the vent. But Chief rarely allows anyone but us into the building, so I can't see it happening for a while anyway, so there's no more need to dwell on this okay? Move on."

She nods, but her chest is still rising and falling too quickly for her to be calm so I take to distracting her while I'll help remove the smoke from her skin, "If it doesn't rain then maybe we can take the kids for a picnic in the park? I can play football with Diego and you can play with Natalia, and soon enough I'll wear Diego out enough for him to sleep the rest of day."

Gabby slowly smiles and the tension in her body is relaxed slightly, her mind filling with thoughts of her niece and nephew rather than of the fire, "If you can be so lucky..."

* * *

I give Gabby some space for the rest of the shift while also watching her carefully to make sure she was okay.

"Hey, Peter Mills, let me help you with finishing dinner," she grins as she wanders back into the break room, her skin now clear of all traces of smoke and dust.

"Grab a spoon Dawson," Mills exclaims, throwing a spoon to Gabby which she catches with one hand.

A few minutes later Otis and Mouch enter with Herrmann at their side and she moves to hug them both at the same time, "I am so so sorry you guys and from the bottom of my heart do I thank you for what you did okay? I owe you guys so much."

Mouch huffs in his typical smooth voice and his arm wraps around her waist, "You owe us nothing Dawson, that's our job."

Otis smiles, "Just try to not do it again okay? Mouch was close to a heart attack back there."

Mouch grumbles at his comment and hisses, "Why I oughta'..."

"Calm down now boys, feel the love," Gabby grins as she returns to helping Mills dish out the dinner.

Roxanne then came and sat by me on the table and we started talking about our favourite films and music, and realised that we both had similar taste.

"You like X-Men?" I asked, shocked to find someone in the House who actually liked the series. Everyone else declared to hate it.

She smiles widely playing a lock of her blonde hair, "Oh, yeah I love it. One of the best film series ever!"

"It is right?! No one but you agrees in this House!"

"Really, not even Gabby?" Roxanne smiles softly and shake my head.

"No, Gabby doesn't really like X-Men."

"Awe," she frowns, "Maybe you and I can watch it sometime?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys, sorry for the wait! I've been busy and didn't have much time to get the chapter written up.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

"How friendly did Matt and Roxanne get while I was off?" I ask Shay nonchalantly, well that was how I intended it to sound, as I restocked the ambo with her.

"What do you mean?" She asks all too innocently, beating around the bush for my sake I know.

"Shay," I drag out her name slowly and hope that she realizes I wanted the truth, "You know what I mean, you've noticed what I have."

She huffs and props herself up on the gurney, "Friendly. It's been how you've seen it really, but look Gab, I don't think it's anything worth worrying about."

"The way you say that makes me think I have something to worry about," I sigh, running my hand through my hair.

Her hand pats my arm, "You've only been back a few days, just give it some time, things between them will sizzle out soon. Casey adores you Gabby, he'd never do anything to hurt you."

"Yeah," I smile weakly, "You're right. So, you're still waiting to be in the window?" I hastily try to change the topic of conversation.

Her smile widens and I cheer up with her happiness, "Still waiting, but it could be any day now!"

"Wow, I think it's just amazing what you're doing. That feeling of having a baby in your stomach," I smile softly, getting butterflies in my tummy.

She nudges my arm and tilts her head to get a better look at my face, "Feeling broody Dawson?"

"One day," I answer simply and we leave that conversation there, but we were both still grinning like fools.

"So, when's the big opening?"

I grin at the mention of Molly's, "In a week or two, though we think it's gonna be more of the latter."

"Oh, why?" Shay asks curiously.

"Herrmann thought there was something wrong with the plumbing, so he fiddled with it. Surprisingly a day later it stopped working, so we had to call an _actual_ plumber in," I roll my eyes at Herrmann's antics.

Shay rolls her eyes too, "Sounds like something Herrmann would do."

Suddenly Kelly pops his head around the corner of the van, "Can I have a word please?"

"Sure," I said, moving to get out of the van so he could talk to Shay.

His hand and on my arm stops me, "No, with you Dawson," he smiles his usual panty-dropper smile and Shay rolls her eyes at his grin and steps out of the van.

Kelly braces himself against the corner of the van, "So I guess you've noticed the...friendship between with Casey and Roxanne yeah?"

"No, not at all," I pathetically lie and the raise of his eyebrow tells me that he doesn't believe a word I'm saying.

"Well anyway, I was talking to my buddy in Paramedic office and he said she's got a reputation."

"What?" I stammer, "What kind of reputation?"

"Look, I don't want you to think too much into this because Casey would never do anything to hurt you Gab, but she's got a reputation of sleeping around with taken men okay?"

"Really? Oh god..."

"Hey," his voice pulls me away from the horrible images in my head, "Don't go Gabby on this, Casey won't do that to you okay? I'd just keep an eye on her."

I nod my head, but the horrible feeling in my stomach doesn't disappear, "So, Daddy Kelly huh. It has a cool ring to it!" I smile and ruffle his hair.

"Yeah, sounds great Dawson," his brown eyes widen at the sound of it, "I'm actually pretty excited to do this."

"Well I sure hope you are! I just said to Shay, I think it's great what you guys are doing."

"Yeah," his smile only widens and he radiates excitement and joy, "I do too."

"Ambulance 61, suspected broken leg in Appleby Park."

Shay and Roxanne come rushing over and Kelly steps out-of-the-way, "Well, see you later!"

* * *

When we arrive back from our call I find Antonio talking with Matt, Diego in Truck's Engine and Natalia dressed up in Cruz's full gear, his boots reaching to the tops of her thighs.

"Aunt Gabby, look! I'm a firefighter!" Natalia yelps with excitement as Cruz adjusts the large helmet on her head.

I bend down in front of her and peer into the clear shield covering her eyes and shake her hand, "Morning firefighter Natalia, I think you'll make a better firefighter than Cruz!"

Cruz grins and tickles Natalia through the large thick jacket, "The tickle monster comes to tickle whoever tries to take Cruz's job!"

Natalia squeals and clomps away in her boots to get away from Cruz, who follows shouting "Rawr, I'm the ticklemonster!"

"Aunt Gabby, I'm driving Truck!"

I smirk, "Well then, I think Cruz is definitely out of a job!"

I move to hug Antonio who looked tired and worn out, but he was smiling at his boisterous children playing with the guys, happy to see them smile and laugh with the firefighters.

"You look like crap Antonio," I state as I hug him, a little worried because he always looked drained lately.

He rolls his dark eyes, "Gee, thanks sis. Look, you sure about this now?"

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes, "Yes Antonio, go home and get some rest okay? You need it."

"I know," he husks and hugs me, "Thanks sis, I'll pick them up at yours at eight yeah?"

"Sure," I smile and then he shakes Matt's hand, hugs both his laughing children and drives off to get some well-earned rest.

"Cruz! Cruz! Can I have a piggy bank please?" Natalia smiles sweetly and Cruz nods and throws her on his back, jumping around making her laugh.

"She's only been here ten minutes and she's already got Cruz wrapped around her little finger," I smirk with Matt and he chuckles.

"Come on kids, let's get you some breakfast before the end of shift," Matt calls and Cruz carries Natalia into the break room, and Matt follows with Diego.

Chief smiles widely as Cruz carries a fully geared Natalia into the break room, "Well, it looks like I've got an extra firefighter on the job!"

Natalia giggles and pulls off the helmet, "No, it's me Chief Boden!"

Chief fakes shock as he still smiles at the children, "Oh Natalia, you had me fooled!"

For the last half hour of shift Natalia and Diego munched on cereal once Natalia had stepped out of Cruz's gear, as Matt and I went to change and grab our bags from our lockers.

"Say goodbye kids, time to go now," I smile as I wipe up the mess they had made.

Natalia hugs Cruz and everyone else who was in the break room, while Diego high-fived everyone and Kelly ruffled his hair while they hugged.

"See you later guys," We wave as we head out to the car. I strap Diego and Natalia in as Matt places our bags in the boot and just before we get into the car, Roxanne runs out of the House waving something in her hand.

"Matt! Wait a sec!" She calls, an extra sweetness added to her voice as she slows before him. I stay standing on the passenger side, watching them.

"Hey Roxanne," Matt smiles a vague shocked tone in his voice, "What's up?"

"Remember the other day when you told me that you'd lost your copy of the first X-Men film? Well, I saw it in the store yesterday and got it for you," she hands over the DVD with a large smile on her face, "You can't have an incomplete collection can you?"

"No, I guess you can't," he chuckles studying the DVD, "Thank you Roxanne, that was very kind of you to do that."

She cocks her head to the side, her blonde ponytail swinging with the movement, "It was no problem, anyway, if no one else likes the films, who would have thought to replace it for you?"

_Me. _

"Yeah," Matt grins widely, "These guys need a movie education. Well, see you later Roxanne."

"Bye, Matt..Gabby," she smiles almost awkwardly and walks over to her car.

As we climb into the car and drive off towards the house Matt smiles, "That was nice of her."

"Yeah," I fake happiness, "Yeah it was."

I turn my head to look out of the window so he couldn't see the disappointment in my eyes, _I'd have to hide the copy I just bought him and take it back to the store when he wouldn't notice. _

I wouldn't want to have the awkward conversation that would indefinitely happen if he'd found the copy I bought for him.

* * *

"Diego! Be careful!" I shout over to the wild brown-haired boy as he kicks the ball and throws himself to the floor.

"Okay Aunt Gabby," he shouts back almost automatically and proceeds to repeat what he'd just done.

I sigh at his antics and return my attention to Natalia, who was cutely babbling on about how much fun she'd had at the House today.

"...and I tried on Cruz's gear like a real firefighter! And he gave me a piggyback, that was fun!" Her big brown eyes are sparkling with excitement and her grin only widens more as she talks about the events of this morning.

"Well, it sounds like you sure had fun sweetie. You can come to this year's BBQ if you like?"

Her mouth drops and she's practically bouncing on the picnic blanket, "Yes, yes please Aunt Gabby!"

I then call Diego and Matt over so we could our lunch which was messy, but fun nonetheless. After lunch, Natalia and Diego went to play tag on the grass as I lay my head in Matt's lap who was running his hands through my messy hair.

"Diego, be careful with your sister," Matt warns as Diego was beginning to get a little to excited for Natalia, "Baby, what is it?"

"Hmm?" I hum and stop staring into space and look up at his curious face, "You've been a little quiet today," he queries.

"Have I?" I try to play it off and pretend to be shocked at his question.

He raises his brow to tell me that he saw right through the act, "Yes, you have. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, sure it is Matt," I say softly, but something in my voice told him not to push it. He sighs and kisses my head, and then continues to play with my hair.

Once Diego and Natalia got a little tired of running around after one another we took them over to the park, where Matt pushed Natalia on the swings and I followed Diego around the climbing frame to make sure he didn't slip.

When it got to five o'clock the children complained of feeling tired so we packed up our things and headed over to the car. Once we got home, they watched a film on the TV as Matt and I prepared dinner for us all.

"Dinner's ready kids!" Matt called as I served up the spaghetti bolognese, something I knew that they'd both liked, and they came running into the kitchen.

"Mmm, this is delicious Aunt Gabby!" Diego mumbles as he scoops as fork full of spaghetti into his mouth. I only laugh and reply, "I'm glad you like it Diego," knowing that it was only inevitable that they'd both make a mess.

After dinner they returned to the sofa to watch TV as we cleaned up the kitchen and then we cuddled up with them on the sofa. When I looked down at them at half seven, both children were fast asleep on Matt and I's shoulders, mouth's open catching flies.

Matt then moved to go upstairs to use the bathroom and before I knew it Antonio was knocking at the door to collect the children.

"Hey, they asleep while we were watching _'Snow White'_," I smile at Antonio who looked refreshed as he watched his sleeping children.

"Looks like you've worn them out," he chuckles quietly as Matt comes down the stairs, the hamper in his arms.

_Oh great_, I hiss under breath silently thinking that of course, tonight _would _be the night that Matt decides to do the laundry.

"Yeah, we did," he answers Antonio but he is watching me intently and I knew that I should have hidden the DVD better.

I then help Antonio carry the children out to the car and kiss both their heads before Antonio hugs me to say thanks. I watch the car drive away until its out of sight before I turn towards the house, proceeding to unenthusiastically head back inside.

I close the door softly resting my head against the cool wood and hope to be able to convince Matt that everything was okay. I hear him rustling the plastic bag from the store that the DVD came in and sigh with frustration, wishing that I didn't have to explain myself because the thought was just embarrassing.

When I turn to face the living room Matt was sitting on the sofa, both copies of X-Men placed side by side on the coffee table and then I huffed and started rambling out the whole story, "I heard you telling Roxanne that you'd lost your copy of X-Men and I know how much you love it so when I was at the grocery store before shift, I picked it up for you. I was gonna give it to you when we got home tonight so you could watch it but Roxanne gave you that copy earlier, so I didn't bother and was going to return it to the store."

He nods his head to show me that he understood me and then he patted the seat beside him, to motion for me to sit beside him. I slowly sit down and Matt chuckles softly, "I get that, what I _don't_ get is why you hid this copy?"

"I just thought that it would have been easier if I took the DVD back and wouldn't have to explain to you the whole awkward story," I hoped to be a convincing liar, but the automatic bite of my lip gave me away.

Matt brushes the lock of hair that had fallen between us behind my ear as he softly smiles and puts his arm around me, "Normally I would believe you but... you've been acting a little off today baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing," I shake my head once with both words and smile just trying to get away from this topic of conversation, and I knew what may work.

Before he can register what is happening I straddle him and press my lips against his own, raking my hands underneath his shirt and running my nails across his back. I run my tongue along his lips and for a moment I thought this was working as his hands ran down my back and cupped my ass, pulling me closer to him, but he sighs against my lips pulling away and rests his forehead against my own.

"Gabby," he breathes breathlessly and clutches my hand against his warm chest, "Don't. Just talk to me baby." Matt runs his thumb over my lips and his spare hand wraps around my waist pulling me closer to him, "You can tell me anything."

I bury my head in the curve of his neck and kiss his skin, "I'm..._jealous _okay?"

Matt exhales heavily and tightens his grip on my body, kissing my hair that was tickling his chin, "Oh baby..."

"I know it's stupid. I know _I'm _being stupid but I can't help the way I feel. When I heard you telling Roxanne about losing your copy, I thought that even though I didn't like them it would be nice if I replaced it for you. But Roxanne did and I felt like mine was not needed because she gave you a copy and that maybe you appreciated it more from her."

"And why would you think that?"

"Because it was from _her _Matt," I sigh in annoyance, angered with myself because I let their friendship bother me so much and angered at him because of the way he was with her. I push myself off his lap and storm into the kitchen, flicking the switch on the kettle and trying not to slam a mug on the worktop.

I feel him follow behind me and he's watching me tentatively as I maneuver around the kitchen, and when I stop and find myself staring at the steam escaping from the kettle. I hear his footsteps walk towards me and then his arms wrap around my waist pulling my back to his chest, he pushes my hair from my shoulder and rests his head there his hands playing with the bottom of my shirt.

"I love _you_ Gabby and I know you know that baby. I don't get why..."

"Why? She runs her hands all over you like she owns you Matt and you say nothing, like it doesn't bother you. You sit there with each other and it looks like not even an earthquake could stop you laughing and joking. When you said that I didn't like your stupid films it sounded like I didn't appreciate you, and then she went and got you that DVD and she thought was some fucking angel Matt. That she thinks more of you than I do, that she values you more and I don't."

"You know Shay told me that you'd never do anything to hurt me and that this_ thing _between you wasn't worth worrying about," my hands move backwards and forwards as if to show the relationship between them both and I get more angry by the second, "And Kelly even said the same thing, until he tells me that's he's heard from a buddy that she has a reputation of sleeping with taken men, and then I can't get the thought out of my mind. And then that stupid DVD!"

"Gabby, you're being silly, you know I would never hurt you like that baby," he argues and tries to tighten his grip on me as I wiggle out of his arms and move towards the stairs.

"Yeah, maybe I am being silly but I can't help how I feel about this Matt. I'm sorry..." I croak, my eyes stinging with angry tears and I plod up the stairs into the bathroom, running the water for a bath.

And it was there that I let the tears go, cried at how angry I was, how jealous I was, how scared I was that maybe I'd lose him after all. But I was sure this wasn't about my insecurities anymore however much they still had a hold on me, I'd seen it for myself, they didn't act like friends, they acted like something more and I knew I wasn't being delusional because Shay and Kelly had noticed it too.

_I was sure that if I'd acted like this with someone else, Matt would feel the same way that I do now. _


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys! Just another update for you all! Hope you enjoy!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

I felt stupid.

No, _ridiculous_ actually.

No matter how jealous I felt, Matt hadn't _done_ anything for me to be mad at and I couldn't be mad at him for what I was feeling. It was unfair and selfish. Matt had given me no proof of liking Roxanne in that way, he was her friend and I was the one who saw it as something different. He hadn't done anything to deserve this and I would have to swallow my pride and apologise to him, because that's what he deserved.

I would trust him like he trusts me, like I had before Roxanne came along and I had no reason not too when she did, it was me that thought of all these silly things in my head.

_But what about what Kelly said?_

I wouldn't judge on her that, granted she may have slept with taken men before but that doesn't give me the right to think she'll do it with Matt. Heck, we've all made mistakes and I'll admit I've made my fair share of them, so maybe that was one of hers. I had no right to think of her like this and it was unfair of me to do so.

Matt deserved me to take his word on this and trust him, and that's what I was prepared to do.

I climb out of the water and wrapped myself in my favourite fluffy towel and drained the bath. As I left the bathroom the steam escaped with me and fogged my sight for a moment, but as the fog disappeared I found Matt sitting on his side of the bed nose deep in a book. I sighed softly not expecting him to bed quite yet and moved towards the bed, lifting my towel clad leg onto the high bed and sit with knees tucked underneath me watching him. His eyes do not move from the book in his hands.

"I trust you," I whisper the words but I knew he heard as he drops the book in his lap, and ever so slowly his blue eyes meet my own.

"You deserve me to trust you - you haven't done anything for me not too - and I promise to never mention this to you again. It's very unfair of me to be mad at you because you haven't done anything to make me mad, this is all me, not you and I'm very sorry Matt," I mumble nervously but my eyes do not leave his, I wanted to show him how sorry I was and that everything I said was true.

"So you're going to trust me now?" Matt asks his voice almost relieved and it looked like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and I felt a pang of guilt for doing that to him.

I nod with certainty, "I promise," and then his hands reaches over to run his fingers over my arms, feeling the goosebumps underneath them. The change of temperature from the hot bathroom to the cool bedroom made me shiver.

Matt motions with his head for me to join him so I scooch towards his awaiting arm, which pulls me to chest and secures itself around me. He pulls the cover around my shivering body, but the warmth of his body was already warming me and he cuddled me for a while before I mumble, "I'm very sorry Matt."

"I know you are baby," he murmurs softly, "I'm just a little mad that's all," and then he kisses my hair.

I run my fingers back and forth his neck in a meaningless pattern as he strokes my back through the towel, "And you have every right to be."

Matt sighs and the warm breath tickles my damp hair, "Come here," his hand sits under my elbow lifting me to face him as he places a soft kiss on my lips.

I gasp at his gentle touch and press my lips against his own, "I forgive you Gabby. We both get mad at each other from time to time, but we still love each other. And we forgive and forget, I've forgiven you baby," he mumbles against my lips, the vibrations tickling my skin.

"And I promise never to be so silly again and to never say those things to you again. I love you Matt," I push my lips against his not being able to resist the urge to kiss his awaiting lips, and he traps my moan as he pulls me to straddle him pulling the towel from my body.

"I love you," he babbles back now preoccupied with the skin of my neck and as I relish at his touch I pull him to sit up, so I could remove the black t-shirt from his skin. Matt's lips kiss down to the crevice of my breasts and he takes one nipple with his mouth and the other with his fingers, and I throw my head back due to the pleasurable flames that he is igniting within my body.

"Matt...ughn," I couldn't help the long moan that escaped from deep within my throat and he chuckles wickedly against my nipple, biting down softly on the hard peak.

"What baby?" Matt smirks clearly humored at the way he could undo me and runs his hands down my spine, and palms my ass with his large hand.

"I need you," I husk and kiss him passionately, tugging at the ends of his blonde locks, his tongue dances with mine and I cherished our intimacy and the way he made me feel was so overwhelming that a tear escaped my eyes.

Matt fervidly kissed me before wiping the tear away with his thumb, "Sssh," he soothes, as his hand moves from cupping my ass to running down my stomach to my most sensitive parts.

He stays sitting up leaning against the headboard with me straddling his hips, and as his index finger enters me I grip his hair as a wave of ecstasy washes through me. Matt teases me for a moment gaining a steady rhythm before entering another finger into me, speeding up his pace. I rock against his fingers, and his thumb swirls around my clit causing me to lose all control and yelp at his touch.

I pull at his hair burying my head in his neck and breathe in his warm manly scent, "Oh god, Matt..." I drag out his name as that feeling in my stomach strengthens.

"Look at me, I want to see you," he asks and I remove my head from his neck, and look into his eyes that were watching me with adoration and lust.

"Matt, ughn...I," I wasn't able to finish before my orgasm ripped through me, causing to shake against Matt's strong body. My head span, my eyes blurred and breathing was fast and jagged. He held me as I slowly came down from my high and kissed along my jawbone.

"Oh god," I pant kissing his smiling lips, "You're diabolical."

Matt smirks and as my legs relax against his, I feel his hard cock press up against my inner thigh. It was my turn to smirk as I pulled down his sweatpants and boxers in one, as he gulped and slouched into the pillows.

His body tenses as I run my hand down his abs, "Relax," I lull and kiss from his neck down to his hips, sucking softly at his hip bone.

As he watches me with a wonderous look I cup his balls in my hand, massaging them as well as I could and his eyes shut at the contact, "Gabby," he stutters.

With his eyes closed and unable to see what I was doing I licked from his head to the bottom of his shaft and back up, licking the pre-cum from him. As his hips raise to meet me, I take his cock in my mouth and slowly move. I ever so gently run my teeth over the soft skin and his mouth drops open, letting out profanities, "Gabby, oh fuck, baby, yeah."

I lightly increase the pressure on his balls and increase the speed that I was taking him and then his body tenses before it relaxes as he comes into my mouth, "Oh, oh, baby fuck."

My mouth makes a quiet 'pop' sound as I move from him and before he can say another word I run his cock along my entrance, making it hard again and drop onto him, his large cock filling me completely.

"Oh wow," Matt gasps, clutching at my ass. I laugh softly, "I'm making it up to you," I explain and slowly begin rocking against him gathering a speed at which he found most pleasurable.

"This is a great way to do that," he growls and squeezes my nipple making me throw back my head as my moan rips through the air.

To regain control I lift myself up, just so that his head was touching my entrance and slam back down on him again, riding him wildly. It works and his eyes clench shut and a large moan from deep within his throat escapes his lips. I cup his balls again massaging them to the same speed that I was riding him, and as he rubs my clit with his thumb we both come together, our shouts and yelps filling the room and our ears, the wave of ecstasy riding through us both.

We collapse in a fit of pants clutching to each other tightly, and as I roll off Matt and nuzzle deep into his side, he pulls the thick white cover over us.

His hand tickles my side as his wraps his arm around me, chuckling "Great way to make up," as he kisses the top of my head.

"I'm glad it worked," I smile, running my finger over the slight stubble on his face, feeling completely spent but comforted. I pat the top of my shoulder when he yawns to indicate for him to snuggle into me, and he does. Matt lays his head in the crook of my neck and throws is arm over my waist, as I wrap one arm around his back and the other hand runs through his hair, comforting him.

"Baby, sleep..." I hush placing a kiss on his forehead before continuing to running my fingers through his hair, he sighs and kisses my collar-bone before closing his eyes and falling quickly to sleep.

"I'm so sorry," I mumble to the quiet night and lay there for a while, thinking, before drifting off into my own deep sleep.

* * *

"Dawson! Can you give me a hand here?" Cruz calls, dragging along a box of spare hoses while trying to hold the door open for himself.

"Yeah sure," I smile and hold open the door for him, "Have you seen Matt at all?"

He nods and places the box in the corner beside the Truck, "Yeah I just saw him, he's in the locker room."

"Okay thanks," I say patting his shoulder as I walk by him towards the locker room, and as I passed I saw Roxanne rushing through the door looking anxious and almost embarrassed.

"Hey," I ask, my brow burrowing, "Are you okay?"

I seemed to have broken her train of thought as she looks up at me, looking shocked that I was here, "Er, yeah, I'm okay," she mumbles timidly and walks off in the opposite direction. I stood watching her for a moment, before shaking it off and heading into the locker room.

I find Matt beside his locker facing away from me wrapped in a towel from the waist down, "Hey you," I say softly and he spins around quickly, looking shocked, worried and nervous as he looks at me. I step forward and place a hand on his naked skin, trying not to think about how much of a coincident it was that both Matt and Roxanne were acting funny when I found them, _Roxanne was rushing from the locker room. _

I touch his cheek with my hand looking up at him with concern and my brow burrows once again, "Is everything okay? You look like you've seen a ghost..."

Matt gulps and I watch his Adam's apple bob once or twice before his mouth drops open and he grins his handsome smile, "Yes of course, why wouldn't I be?" He lands a soft kiss on lips and I couldn't help thinking it was a distraction from something.

_You promised you'd trust him._

"Yeah okay," I smile, ignoring the weird behaviour. I trusted Matt, he would tell me if anything was wrong, "I was talking to Herrmann earlier, he says we can finally open the bar on Saturday." It was Wednesday today and I was ridiculously excited.

"That's great baby," he wraps his arm around my shoulder kissing my head, "But you haven't advertised?"

I roll my eyes and nod, "That's what I told him, but he said to leave it all to him."

"And that can only go so well..." he grins jokingly and ruffles my hair.

"I think he can do it, or," I wickedly grin, "I'll have to use some of my pretty persuasive techniques."

"Really?" Matt's eyebrows raise, curious at what I had in mind, "And what would those techniques be?"

"You only wish you knew," I smirk whispering the words in his ear and goosebumps appear on his skin, I turn pleased with my work and saunter away from him, leaving his mouth agape with wonder.

* * *

"Shay! We need to do a tracheostomy, his airways are blocked!" The fire was bad, one of the worst of the year. There were at least 8 fatalities, and over 18 people were injured - the number was rising fast. The guy we were treating had been shot and the shooter had set the building on fire as he fled; the victim had multiple gun shot wounds and had badly suffered from smoke inhalation, but miraculously he was still alive.

Shay grabs the kit as I make the incision and we efficiently place the tube in and Shay begins to pump the bag to blow air into his lungs.

"Shay, we need you! Burn victim, struggling to breathe!" Severide calls for Shay who had just pulled out another victim from the building. Shay looks at me to ask would Roxanne and I be okay, and I nod, "Go, we'll be fine."

She rushes off towards Severide and the victim and I take over pumping the bag to provide air to the victim, I look up to Roxanne, she's pale.

"Block it all out Roxanne, take over the bag, I'll treat his wounds," I instruct firmly, watching as more blood seeps from the holes in his chest. I wasn't sure she heard me as her eyes did not move from the victim, she was frozen.

"Roxanne, I _need _your help," I plead, his pulse was fading. Sirens blur into one loud noise behind us and the heat from the building radiates towards us, people were screaming, blood was everywhere, and she went into shock.

"Roxanne please!" I scream, sure to be loud enough for her to hear me. I knew I was, because Shay whips her head around and is watching was fear.

She still doesn't move her eyes and her body is completely frozen, her skin continued to pale, the colour drained from her face. I feel the guys pulse again, _barely there_, I register, he doesn't have anymore time.

Mills passes by us his tanned face covered in black smoke patches, "Mills, help me!" I ask and he takes in a frozen Roxanne and my pleading self, and takes over the air bag as I put pressure on the vic's gaping wounds.

"Dawson, no pulse," Mills states as he presses his fingers against the guys neck.

"Starting compressions," I push down his chest pumping the rhythm that I was so used to, but the more I did the more blood gaped from his wounds. I look up at Mills and he shakes his head.

"He's gone," he sighs and stops pumping the bag, I wipe my cheek with my blood stained glove and look up at Roxanne whose body was still frozen, but her eyes moved around wildly.

Mills helps me to move the body to the fatalities and we place a sheet over his body, I look down at him and my jaw clenches. Mills places a hand on my shoulder, "Come on, Mouch just brought out another victim."

As I rush to the next victim, I see Roxanne still frozen on the curb and I sigh.

* * *

I sit on the bench in the locker room and punch the lockers, "We lost him because of her Shay! He could have had a chance!"

"Calm down, talk me through it," the blonde sighs and sits beside me.

"She just froze Shay. I called her to help me but she froze and paled. I couldn't get through to her. I asked Mills to help, but it was already to late, he lost too much blood."

She shakes her head, "I shouldn't have left you..."

"No, I thought she could handle it, obviously I was wrong," I wring my hands in frustration and then run my hand through my hair.

"Come on, you have to wash that blood off. You look like a serial killer or something," Shay giggles, trying to lighten the mood and we walk towards the bathroom.

"Dawson, Shay! Chief wants to see you in his office!" Otis calls just before we reach the bathroom and I sigh, and rush into the bathroom to wet a paper towel before heading to the Chiefs office with Shay.

"All gone?" I ask just before we head into his office, and she nods.

"Chief? You wanted to see us?" Shay asks as we walk into his office, and he motions for me to shut the door.

"Yes, sit down," we take a seat and he sighs, and removes his glasses from his face.

"Peter Mills informed me of what happened with Roxanne today, would you like to explain?"

I sigh and grind my teeth, "Shay and I performed a tracheostomy on the gun shot victim. Severide called for Shay to help with another victim he'd just pulled out. She went because I thought Roxanne could handle it, but she froze as he was bleeding out. I couldn't get through to her so Mills helped me with the victim, but he died due to the blood loss."

"Shay?" Chief asks in his usual deep tone for Shay to say her piece.

"I looked over when I heard Dawson yell at Roxanne to help but she wasn't moving."

He sighs and rubs his face, "That's what I heard from Mills... What do you recommend?"

"I don't want to work with her again."

"Dawson?!" Shay demands, looking at me questionably.

"Shay we see things like that everyday - if she can't handle it then I can't work with her. I won't lose another vic again like that."

"I understand your concerns Gabriela, but she hasn't been with us very long. What would you say if we give her another week?" Chief asks, I understood it was his job to defend both sides, but nonetheless this annoyed me.

"One week," I request and nod to the Chief and swiftly leave.

I head to the ambo to clean it and tell Shay that I'd be okay to do alone. I scrub at the bloody floors and try to block everything out.


	13. Chapter 13

**I just couldn't wait to write this chapter so that's why it's up so quickly for you all! **

**Just remember that not _all _hope is lost. And I hope that'll you all tell me what you think about this chapter and the rest of the story in that little box down below!**

**oxoxoxox**

* * *

**(CASEY POV)**

"You have to tell her Matt," Kelly states not being the type to beat around the bush. He stares at me, and I wasn't sure what emotion was in his eyes.

I knew I had to, I'd kept it to myself for days now and it wasn't fair. She needed - no, deserved - to know.

I sigh.

We'd ended our shift at 9 this morning and headed home to get some rest before the opening of Molly's tonight. Gabby was so excited, it was all she talked about since she found out that they would be opening today. When we woke up around 2, I felt the urge to tell her, but I had to speak to Kelly first, I needed him to help me. I headed over his place, telling Gabby that I would be back home soon, and when I arrived at Kelly's place I was secretly pleased that Shay had a dentist's appointment.

I told him everything. The DVD, my argument with Gabby, what happened on Wednesday, I knew I could trust Kelly.

_Wednesday's shift. _

_I climb out of the shower glad that the hot water eased the tension in my muscles, and wrapped my towel around my waist. I head towards my locker to grab my clothes and found Roxanne leaning up against the red locker - my locker._

_"Um, hey?" It sounded more like a question than a greeting, but I couldn't help my surprise slip into my words. What was she doing?_

_She smiles and pushes her blonde hair off her shoulder, "Hello Matt."_

_"Everything okay?" I ask curiously, and move to put my key in the locker. Her hand stops me. _

_"Yes," Roxanne's smile turns suggestive and my instincts tell me to leave, "I_s _everything okay with you and Gabby?"_

_"Yes, of course," my brow burrows, where was this going? "Why?"_

_Her hand runs up my arm to the back of my neck, where it sits, "Does she...satisfy you Matt?"_

_I throw her hand off me, "What?" I hiss, the anger rising within me. _

_Her eyebrow raises, "Well I can," and she throws herself towards me, planting her lips firmly on my own. It took me a second to register what the heck was happening before I push her off me, "Get off me! What do you think you're doing?"_

_She smirks again before sauntering away, "You know you want me Matt. You know I can satisfy you..."_

_I grind my teeth as I watch her leave and wonder what the heck just happened?_

"I know I have to, I just don't want to hurt her," my throat clenches at the thought of her face when she finds out.

"Casey, she's gonna be hurt that you didn't tell her straight away - she walked in straight after. Tell her now to prevent things getting worse than they already are. You came to me to hear the truth, now you got it."

"You're right, you're always right," I run my hand through my hair, tugging at the ends - I was pissed at my stupid self.

He smirks, "Glad you know it."

"Fuck, she's gonna kill me."

Kelly's eyebrow raises and his smirk only widens, "It's not you I'm worried for, it's Roxanne."

* * *

"And you didn't fucking think to tell me until now? What the hell Matt?" Gabby rages and she points an accusing finger in my direction.

"I didn't want to hurt you, I pushed her off me," I try to calm her, but this only seemed to add to her anger.

"That's not the fucking point and you know it! If Pete tried to kiss me and I didn't tell you, what the fuck would you think?"

"That's different..."

Her eyes widen with anger and shock, "No it's not Matt!"

"Look," I put my hands up calling for peace between us, "I know this is what you feared, but you can trust me Gabby."

"It's _her _I don't trust!" She hisses furiously and storms off into the kitchen, slamming the door behind her.

"Gabby, just listen to me for a minute!"

"No, you need to leave me alone for a bit, I need to think."

We leave it at that until we were ready to head over to Molly's, to help to prepare before opening.

"Gab, look, just-" I try to say to her in the car but she puts her hand up to stop me, "Please Matt, I have to think."

It was awkward as we arrived at Molly's and Gabby rushes in, "Herrmann, what do you need me to do?" She declares, leaning against the bar. Kelly's there with Shay, and he watches me with concern, noticing the looks on both our faces.

"Can you help wash the glasses please? There's still loads to wash," he rolls his head towards the kitchen and she moves towards the kitchen, rolling up her sleeves.

Shay follows in behind her and as she passes she gives me an angry glare, and I sigh and take a sit beside Kelly.

"She screamed at me, and now she refuses to talk to me - she says she has to think, what does that mean?"

He places his hand on my shoulder, "It doesn't mean what you think. Give her time."

* * *

**(GABBY POV)**

"The bitch did that?!" Shay yells after I told her what Matt had recently told me. I was upset and angry with both Matt and her.

"I knew it Shay, I knew something was up and he told me to trust him!" I slam the wet glass on the worktop with anger, and she places her hand over mine.

"Gab," she asks tentatively, "Are you sure that _that __was_ what happened?"

"Shay," I warn, "I believe what he told me was the truth, but I don't like that he didn't tell me. I walked in straight after it happened - literally!" The tears blur in my eyes as Shay hugs me, and I just didn't know what to do.

"Just try to have fun tonight, you can sort this out with Matt tomorrow."

We opened the bar at seven, and an hour later it was raging full. I laughed with Herrmann as I told him his extensive advertising worked. When the rest of Firehouse 51 entered the bar, we were all greeted with hugs and congratulations and then I gave them all a beer on the house.

"This is now my favourite bar ever!" Cruz cheers as I hand him his beer, and I shake my head as that becomes a toast throughout the Firehouse 51 group.

"My favourite bar ever!" They toast, just as Roxanne walks in. I glare at her, but the smirk on her face only angers me. She heads for Matt.

I try to ignore it as I move to serve more customers, and as Mouch begins to tell a story on the Chief in his younger years, I lean in to listen to distract myself.

"And she was beautiful - absolutely stunning - way out of his league," Mouch jokes, cocking his head towards Boden, who smirks. "And she turns up at the House with apple pie for everyone, but it wasn't cooked properly and the Chief throws up everywhere, all over this _beauty_. And she runs screaming from the House - we never saw her again."

"That was not how it went down Mouch," the Chief grins and his words slur, he was cheerfully drunk.

"Chief Boden, how much have you drank?" I tease with a pretend scolding tone, handing Cruz his next beer.

"Not quite enough Gabriela!" He cheers and slaps Mouch on his back, "Come on Mouch, let's go find us a beauty!"

I shake my head with laughter as they disappear into the crowd and go to collect up empty glasses as Herrmann serves the beer. I make my way around the bar, greeted by many happy drunks, emotional drunks and lustful drunks who all slurred, "Gabriela, great bar!"

Eventually I reach Shay and Kelly, tray of empty glasses propped up against my hips and smile, "Hey guys, you having a good time?"

"Gabby," Shay grins, merrily drunk, "Why didn't you tell me this was a lesbian bar? Have you seen all the hot chicks?" She slings her arm around my shoulder and uses to her hand to scan the room, as if she was showing me the light.

"No," I grin suggestively, "I haven't had chance to look hun," Kelly shakes his head at her with laughter, and seemed much more sober than Shay was. This would probably be her last drinking session before the she was in the window.

"Well, do. And report back to me, I'm still trying to convert your sexuality." She nods confidently, "I know you're a secret lesbian Dawson."

"Sssh, Shay," I tease playing along with her, "You're not supposed to tell anyone."

"Have you seen Matt, Kelly?" I ask as he sips his beer, I figured I'd get a clearer answer from someone who wasn't as merry as Shay.

"He said he was going to the men's room," he smiles softly, almost comforting me, did he know about the other day?

"Okay, I'll come join you guys soon when things die down a little," I smile before going to take the glasses into the kitchen. I walk down the corridor which had three walk ways, the one directly in front of me was the kitchen, the one to my left the fire exit and the one to my right, the toilets.

As I walk down the corridor, something to my right catches my eye. It was quieter here, the music and people's voices wasn't so loud in the back.

"Matt?" I stutter, stunned and despaired.

Roxanne was pressed up against the wall with her leg hooked up around _Matt's _waist kissing him roughly. He was kissing her back with the same force. Her hand was tugging at the end of his shirt and his hand was behind her neck, tilting her head back to get a better angle.

They stop at the sound of my voice and Matt pushes away from her, looking shocked. Roxanne looked pleased - she smirked at me.

"Gabby, wait!" He calls as I rush into the kitchen slam the tray down and grab my coat, pushing past him roughly as I head for the bar.

He grabs my wrist, "Get off me!" I scream loudly, pure disgust and anger in my voice, "Don't you ever touch me again!"

I'm met with Herrmann's confused face as I push the door to the bar open, "Dawson, what's going on?"

"Leave the bar like it is tonight, I'll come clean tomorrow," I sob, my words come out like a stammer and the tears stream down my face as I push past him, heading for the door.

"Gabby, just-" Matt calls as I push through the crowds and throw myself into the street.

My heels were suddenly killing my feet as I hurried down the street, salty tears clouding my vision.

_I couldn't believe this. How could he do this to me? I trusted him and he cheated! He didn't love me, he couldn't love me because he did this! I trusted him!_

"Gabby, just wait! Let me explain!" I hear his voice calling behind me, and when I turn he's a few feet away.

"Explain what exactly? How you were kissing her? How you were practically dry humping her? How you _cheated _on me!" I scream at him, my voice full of fury and revulsion.

Matt steps forward and tries to touch my hand, "Don't touch me!" I shout, snatching my hand out of his reach. I see Shay and Kelly stumble out of the bar and towards us.

"I didn't mean it! I don't know what happened!" He yells back, his own face drenched with tears.

"You cheated on me Matt! _That's _what happened! It's over, we're over!" I yell and turn and rush away from him, knowing that Shay and Kelly heard my scream. It wasn't long before I heard them yell at Matt but soon I was too far away to hear anything.

The cold night was only empathizing how I was feeling right now. _Cold, empty, broken, disgusted, lost. _

The chilly air flew up my dress and goosebumps erupted on my skin, and I pulled my long black coat just a little tighter around me. The heels were hurting so I pulled them off and held the strap in my fingers, walking bare foot.

_That's it. The love of my life was gone. I want him gone - how could he do that to me? I hated him! I hate him!_

Eventually, I have to lean against the wall as my tears take over me, and I was unable to walk forward, my body frozen at the thought of being without him. I slide down the wall and cry into my knees as I lean my head against them.

_I hate him for doing this to me, for making me feel this way! Why did I have to love him so much?_

No matter how I tried to halt the tears they just fell harder and faster, and I had no control over my emotions. I didn't know where I was, I didn't care. I just cried and cried, my body too weak to fight against them. I tried to block out the image of _them _together, but it didn't work, they haunted my mind.

"Ssh hunny, we're here," I couldn't see her through my tears, but I recognised her voice instantly. I feel her arms snake around my neck and hug me tightly.

"I don't know what to do Shay," I wail and cry into her neck, clutching on to her for dear life.

I feel a larger hand take my own in theirs, _Kelly,_ "Come on Gab, we need to get you out of this cold."

I can only nod as he lifts me into his arms, Shay taking my heels, he places me in the back of the car and Shay climbs in beside me and we speed away.

Shay pulls me into her chest as Kelly drives us to their place, she allows me to cry into her neck silently smoothing my hair with her small hand.

I shake my head when Kelly offers to carry me and walk barefoot into the building, we reach their door and the next thing I registered was being placed on their large sofa.

Shay pulls my coat off my arms and instead wraps a blanket around me. She sits beside me placing her hand on my knee.

"Why couldn't I be enough Shay?" I cry, and I watched as her own eyes teared.

"Do you want anything?" Shay asks softly, she was unable to think of anything else to say, she just wanted me to feel better.

"For this to all go away," I sob, the words rough and croaky due to my dry throat. She sighs, knowing this would not go away no matter how much I wanted it too, and pats my hair as I sob into my hands.

"Why don't you go up and use the shower? It may help to make you feel better," she offers, but I knew the act would be futile. I nod and stand, swaying slighty on my feet, and make my way towards the stairs.

"I'll bring some clothes up for you in a minute," Shay calls, but I barely hear her words for the pounding in my head took over my senses.

I step into the shower, the steamy hot water helping me to relax just a little, but soon my emotions took over and I couldn't help but cry under the spray of the water.

_Why couldn't this just be a bad dream? Why couldn't just be enough?_

Because that was it wasn't it, I wasn't enough, I never could be enough. Not for him, that's why he cheated on me, I couldn't ever be enough for the man I love unconditionally.

Through the running of the water I heard muffled yells, so I climbed out of the shower and dressed with the clothes Shay had left on her bed for me, and headed out to the landing. The stairs were wide and open, so I could hear every word said clearly.

"Can I just see her please?" Matt's voice echoed through the house, and half of me wanted to run down there and the other half wanted to run away.

"She's up there fucking crying to herself Casey - because of you! You know what she said earlier, huh? She asked us 'why wasn't she enough for you?' You don't deserve her Casey, she's too good for you!" I was surprised to hear Kelly scream in my defence, but he was yelling with anger, disgust and disappointment, clearly enraged.

I kneeled at the top of the stairs to get a better view. Matt was in the doorway, Kelly was blocking his entrance to the apartment and Shay was standing behind Kelly.

"Don't you think I know that already Severide!" Matt screams back, yanking roughly at the ends of his hair.

"Good," Shay hisses furiously, "Now you know that you can leave. She's better off without you! Go on, go find your dirty skank. You deserve each other."

Kelly slams the door in Matt's face and it was then that I stepped down the stairs, "Shay?" I call quietly, and I knew she knew that I'd heard everything.

"Aww hunny," she sighs and hugs me at the bottom of the stairs.

"What did he want?" I ask timidly, clutching at Shay's jacket. I realised Kelly and her were still dressed up and I was standing here in pajamas, but I was too upset to care.

"He wanted to talk to you," Shay replied softly, before heading up the stairs to change.

I take a seat on the bar stool while Kelly makes us both some tea, "Thank you Kelly."

He waves it off, "Don't mention it, nothing you wouldn't do for me."

"You know what it feels like don't you?"

Kelly bites his lips for a moment before he nods, "It's the ultimate betrayal," he sighs, sitting down next to me.

"Shay doesn't understand, and I'm glad she doesn't. I hope she never has to feel like this. But it's nice to know that I'm not the only one."

"Well, I'm always here."

I smile and place my hand over his, "I am too you know, you don't have to keep everything locked up inside Kelly."

He nods again, "Just don't let this rule you now Dawson. Don't go off the rails because of what he did to you. Keep your head up."

"I'll try not too," I sigh biting my lip, I knew he meant well, but Kelly knew what this felt like and I wasn't sure how I'd deal with everything.

I just knew I'd have to get myself sorted before the next shift, I wouldn't let _her _or Matt see how much they'd hurt me.

I would be strong.


	14. Chapter 14

**Oh my gosh, I know it's terrible but things can always get better! Or will they?**

**By the way, this will last a few chapters. It's gonna take Gabby a while to figure out if she can forgive Matt, and then she will have to forgive him. And he's going to have to make it up to her and prove to Gabby that she can trust him again. **

**Any ideas I'd love to hear them!**

**And I always love to hear from the people who read my stories, so I hope you leave me a little view.**

**Please enjoy!**

**Oh, and this chapter is a step forward for Shay and Kelly too! Hmm, what will that be?**

**oxoxox**

* * *

**(GABBY POV)**

"Now, are you sure about this?" Shay sighs, dumping a few pillows and blankets on her sofa.

I weakly smile and sniffle, I'd been crying all night, "Yeah, I'll be fine Shay. Thank you," I drop onto the sofa, pulling a pillow into my lap and clutching it tightly.

"You can always come share with me? I promise I won't go lesbian on you," Shay teases, but I knew she genuinely meant for me to share with her, I giggle gently at her words.

"I'm not gonna take my chances," I smile and try to tell her I'll be okay, but I knew neither she or I believed it. The blonde sighs again and makes her way up the winding stairs.

"Just try to get some sleep okay Gab? You know where we are if you need us," Kelly comforts and I nod once in reply, he pats my shoulder before disappearing up the stairs.

And then I was alone.

As alone as I felt inside. Empty, lost.

I pull a blanket around me and wander towards the window, gazing out into the night. The street lights were bright, they burned my eyes, but I stared anyway. Tears fall again just when I think I composed myself, and now I was alone I didn't feel the need to stop them.

_I wonder what he's doing right now. _

Stop. No. He doesn't deserve your sympathy, _he _did the dirty on you, not the other way round. You have no fault in this. You didn't make him cheat.

_What if I wasn't good enough?_

You are good enough Gabby, and even if you weren't that's no reason to cheat, you know that.

I was fighting with myself when I knew that this wasn't my fault, I didn't make the mistake - he did.

I just can't believe he would do this to me, with her of all people. I thought he loved me, he _said _he loved me everyday, heck he _showed _me that he loved me. What drove him to this? What made him do this? A few hours earlier he was telling me how he pushed her off him, and then he ended up cheating with her?

I couldn't make sense of this.

_But there's no sense to be made. There is no logic to cheating, no explanation for why he had to rip my heart out like that. So why did he?_

He found her more attractive clearly. She was a striking blonde, petite and small, much skinner than I was. She clearly wasn't the shy person I thought she was, the way she smirked at me after I'd caught them, the way she cheated with a taken man. Maybe she was much more outgoing, more daring, more sexy, more kinky for Matt than me. Maybe she excited him more, maybe she was more.

It was then I sank to the floor with silent cries and pieces of my broken heart shattered around me, lost in the thoughts of _them _together and there being no more him and I, it was _him and her_.

Eventually I pull myself up onto the sofa, I didn't need Shay and Kelly finding me on the floor and being more worried than they already are. They were already doing plenty for me, they were still here.

Some time later I run out of tears to cry and cruel thoughts to think and fall into a restless sleep, filled with painful images and memories that I cared more to forget than remember.

The bright light of the sun woke me in the morning, and I expected to wake in my warm comfy bed, snuggled in his side, his arm wrapped around me, protecting me. It was only when I opened my eyes that I realised where I was and what had happened to lead me here, tears stung my eyes but surprisingly they refused to fall - I was too weak and too lost to cry anymore.

"Morning," I noticed he didn't say 'good morning' and I was glad he didn't, he knew this would be anything but.

"Morning," I sigh back, and for a moment I didn't even recognise my own voice. _That wasn't me. _

"Is Shay still sleeping?" I ask Kelly, who was sitting opposite me when I noticed my best friend wasn't here. He looked tired himself with dark circles under his eyes, I only wondered at what I must look like then.

"No," he replies, his voice quiet as he shakes his head. He sips a mug of coffee in his hand. I send him a confused glance then and along with my burrowed brows, he understood what I was asking. He sighs sadly.

"She went to get some of your things, she figured you'd need them."

_At your house, where Matt was. _

I croak an 'oh' before heading towards the bathroom and throwing cold water on my face, _hold it together,_ I tell myself but the thought was futile, how could I?

Shay was over at my house right now, and I had no clue on what was going down between them. I only knew it wouldn't be pretty.

* * *

**(SHAY POV)**

_"Just keep an eye on her while I'm gone okay? I won't be long."_

It was what I told Kelly just before I left. When I woke this morning I found her with red raw eyes and a drained expression while she restlessly slept. My girl didn't deserve this, all she did was love him. It wasn't that long ago when she was gushing to me about them being together for 10 months, I remember the adorable smile she had on her face and the loving expression in her eyes. She was unreservedly in love with him.

I headed over to their place because I knew she wouldn't want to face him just yet, but I knew she would have to tomorrow and that would be hard on her. Doing this would ease the hurt just a little, and I didn't want Gabby doing anything stupid if she went herself.

I was skeptical, and honestly a little afraid of what I would find when I reached their house. _Would he be with her? _It was probable, but the look on his face last night told me otherwise. I knew he regretted what he did, but that wasn't the point, he shouldn't have done that to in Gabby in the first place. The bastard hurt my best friend and he wouldn't be getting any sympathy from me, no matter what I would find.

I was knocking for a few minutes before he even answered the door. When he did, he was dressed in a big grey sweater and sweat pants. He hadn't slept, and even if he had it was restless, his eyes were bleak and bags hang underneath them. He cheeks were red from rubbing and his hair was messy, like hands hand been pulling at it all night. He and the house smelt of beer, like he'd been drinking all night.

"Shay?" Casey says, confused and disappointed, he expected Gabby.

"I've come to get some of Gabby's things," I almost hiss and push past him, I didn't fail to notice his flinch when I said Gabby's name.

I hear the door close softly and he sighs following me in, I was right, beer bottles scattered the floor beside the sofa. A pillow that didn't match the sofa sat there, it was out-of-place.

"How is she?" Casey said sorrowfully, anger at himself tainted his words. I turn to face him, tears were falling down his face.

"How you expect her to be," I answer back bitterly, remembering Gabby's words of 'Why couldn't I be enough?' last night and her broken expression.

The words hit him like a truck and I watch as the tears fall just a little faster, "I know I cheated-"

This only angers me more, "You didn't just cheat Casey! You made her feel utterly worthless!" I yell, before stomping upstairs to get Gabby's things.

When I headed into their bedroom I found that the bed was missing a pillow, and that it was from Gabby's side of the bed because the nightstand had her favourite body lotion on it, he was clutching her pillow with her smell.

I pack a bag for Gabby and head back down the stairs, I stop in front of Casey - I don't think he moved from that spot - and say, "Look Casey, I think you need to give her some time. The best thing you can do right now for her is to give her some space, okay?" There was a little compassion in my voice this time, I couldn't help slipping it in due to his distant expression and seeing him clutch Gabby's pillow was a little painful, even if I did say I would have no sympathy for the bastard.

He nods and I wasn't sure if the words registered or not, but I left swiftly, hoping that whatever happens it will be for the best.

* * *

**(GABBY POV)**

"Gab? Can you just come out of there, I-I don't really like leaving you alone..." Poor Kelly stutters as he knocks the door again and this time I unlock it, allowing him to come in. I was leaning up against the sink, in Shay's baggy sweater and pajama pants that were way to long for my legs, wiping away the remnants of my tears.

"I'm not suicidal Kelly," I laugh softly to reassure him that I was normal, _laughing was normal right?_

He leans himself up against the door frame dressed casually in sweat pants and a t-shirt, he hadn't shaved for a few days but it suited him. His green eyes were worried, "You wanna talk?"

The sincereness in his voice only made my tear up again, "I tell myself that I can move past this, that _we_ can move past this, then all I see is that picture in my head of them together and I feel like he's trampled all over my heart," because Kelly knew how I felt it was easy to talk to him because he understood, understood how lost I felt right now.

I expected the tears to fall again, those were inevitable, what I _didn't _expect was for Kelly to put his arms around me and hug me, comforting me with his silent gesture.

"I know that you don't wanna be told that 'it'll all be okay' because it doesn't seem like it now, I know you rather someone to hug you and tell you that they'll always be there for you. So that's what I'm doing, Shay and I aren't going nowhere."

It felt like a bit of the weight had been lifted off my shoulders and the support I got from his gesture was consoling.

"Least you're getting a bit of practice of soothing non-stop crying humans," I giggle quietly against his chest after a while of comforting silence, I feel the humorous vibrations run through his chest.

"See, always look on the bright side Gab," he chuckles, before motioning for me to follow him to the kitchen saying 'you look like you need a good coffee.'

I reply with "Coffee sounds great to me," and follow his lead.

"I'm not even sure what I'm meant to do tomorrow," I sigh as the hot liquid poured down my throat, making talking just a little easier.

A stern expression graces his face, "You've got to be ashamed of, you did nothing wrong. Keep your head up."

"But they'll both be there," I mumble with the thought of seeing them tomorrow, what would be the story there?

Kelly leans forward as if telling me a secret, "Look, from what I heard from Boden, they're pulling her this week."

"What? Why?"

"Mostly from what happened at the building fire, but Boden hasn't been pleased with her work either. He's noticed that she can't handle it too."

"Well," my brow raises, "That'll protect her."

Kelly throws me a confused glance, "From me."

He smirks.

Shay walks in soon after carrying my large overnight bag, an unreadable expression on her face and I jump off the stool at the sound of the front door closing. As she rounds the corner, she is greeted with my expectant look and frowns, "What?"

"I-I... is he?...I mean-" I babble incoherently and Shay's frown only deepens as she steps forward to hug me.

I sigh when I realise she wasn't going to tell me anything about _him, _"Let's just focus on you okay?" Either she thought that I was crazy and didn't need to hear anything more, or she didn't want to tell me what she found at our home.

It felt a little funny to say _our _now.

We headed over the bar a little while later as I told Herrmann I would come back to clean in the morning, after leaving half way through the night. Shay was helping me wash up the glasses in the kitchen while Kelly cleaned the bar.

"Did...Did he say anything to you, when you were there?" I ask timidly, my curiosity finally getting the better of me.

She sighs before realising it was better to tell me now than let me find out for myself, "He asked how you were. He didn't really say anything after that because I was too busy yelling."

I nod secretly glad that Shay gave him a mouthful, it was nice though - in a weird way - that he was asking about me, "Was _she_ there?"

Shay shakes her head a multiple times, "No, he does feel awful Gab about what he did and _he's _not that stupid, but that's not the point hunny."

"I know, I know, I want to I hate him but I _can't _Shay. I _can't _hate him, no matter what he did to me."

"Just give yourself some time hun, and what will be will be."

We finish washing the dishes in an easy silence as I think of every possible scenario that could come out of this, and when Shay's phone rings she excuses herself to the front of the bar.

Within a few minutes I hear happy squeals coming from the bar and go to investigate. I find Shay and Kelly embracing tightly with wide grins on their faces, "What?" I ask curiously, and couldn't help the smile that crept onto my face.

She jumps from Kelly's arms and places her hands on my arms, shaking me with her extraordinary smile, "I'm in the window!"

My mouth drops open in surprise and pull her to my chest tightly, "Oh my gosh, go on! Get going then silly!"

I didn't have to tell her twice. She yanked Kelly by the arm, kissed my cheek and zoomed out the door, I shouted "Good luck," but wasn't sure they heard me over Shay's giggles.

I began sweeping the floor filling my head with lovely images of Shay and Kelly all excited when the insemination was done, when Shay was pregnant and of them holding a beautiful little baby in their arms. I was ridiculously excited for them, and that I would be godmother to their little baby, I was very proud.

But it was early days yet, one step at a time.

The mention of a little baby made me feel excited, but a little sad at the same time too. Would I ever get the chance to be that happy? To have children? I'd only ever considered the thought with Matt, even if we hadn't spoken to each other about it, and even though we still had plenty of time the thought hurt because I wasn't sure what would happen with Matt.

_I had told him that it was over, that we were over but I wasn't sure that I wanted that to be the case. I was unsure on whether I could forgive him for what he did to me, no matter how much I loved him._

I was putting the broom away in the kitchen when I heard the bar door open and then close again, and when I went to investigate to say I was surprised was an understatement.

Roxanne stood at the bar, her long blonde hair fell down her back as she played with a lock in her hand. A pleased smirk played on her lips as she propped herself up with her arm on the bar.

"We're closed," I stated coldly as her eyes followed me around the room to where I moved to stand close to her.

"You know, it was only a matter of time," she squeakily pondered, the twirling of her blonde lock in her fingers quickening.

I raise a brow, her cue to continue, "Until Matt wanted me."

That stings, but I try not to let it show as I smirk humorously, "Oh really?"

"Yes really, it was ever so easy to corner him in the toilets and by then I had him drooling over me," the words are wicked and vain, I laughed at her words but they hit home hard, it wasn't hard to imagine.

"Now however much that may be true sweetie, that was just a man attracted to an easy whore."

My words stung her this time, I was pleased that I told her the truth about herself no matter how cruel it was.

"N-no, he wanted me!"

"Yes, in the toilets - how classy. He just wanted you, your body, _sex_," I hiss viciously, I could easily hate her, "Nothing else. And you were so easy to give it out then why wouldn't any not take? You were an easy fuck - too bad it never got that far."

My face stings as she slaps me, but not as much as my words sting her.

"Truth hurts huh? Now get out of my bar before I really lose it," I demand, the anger I felt only rose by her every word and gesture.

Her brow raises and her smirk returns, "How did it feel Gabriela? When you saw his hands on me, _wanting me__?_"

The fist I connect with her jaw sure felt good, and I watch as she stumble back with shock and pain on her face.

"How does that feel Roxanne?" I hiss and leave her side walking back behind the bar. The door slams shut a second later.

It was now that I let the words that had stung so much do their work, I kick the wall as angry and distraught tears fell.

_I had him drooling over me._

_When you saw his hands on me, wanting me? _

The words rang in my ears over and over again like venom and I shook with the pain of what I saw last night, and what may of happened if I hadn't walked him. What if Matt really wanted her, and not me? They way she described it, it sounded like he was putty in her hands, like they would have done anything.

I thought it was Shay and Kelly when I heard the door open again, but didn't think it was plausible because they said it would take a while. I stood from the floor and roughly wiped the tears that blurred my vision away and I was now able to see who walked in.

"Matt?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys! **

**Sorry for the wait, but this is an extra long chapter to make it up to you!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**oxoxoxox**

* * *

"Get out."

I snarl the words, but he only steps forward, closer to the bar, closer to where I stood.

"I have nothing to say to you, get out," I growl when he says nothing, he just moves towards the bar just a metre away from me.

Matt's mouth drops open and he looks tired, drained; regret filled his eyes, but I didn't care. _I was the one he did the dirty to._

"Just listen to me please, for one moment please," he begs, and the look on his face almost made me forget everything. My body is weak and depleted, and just everything, _him, me, Roxanne, last night, this morning everything, _made my cry silently once again. I stared at him dangerously, but my eyes leak unwilling tears, _I didn't want them to fall._

_Not in front of him. _

"You've got the nerve to ask something of me? After what you did?" The words wound him but from my eyes he deducts that I ask him to spit it out. I stand my ground beside the till, and he stays firmly planted a metre away on the other side of the bar; my body language told him to stay away from me.

"I know this seems stupid to say, it doesn't make it any easier for you, but what I did last night...I honestly didn't mean. I didn't want to hurt you, I-I just didn't know what I was doing. It was a stupid, and an extremely cruel thing for me to do. I...cheated on you Gabby, and it was completely unacceptable. It isn't fair of me to ask this, its selfish, but I'm asking you can you forgive me? You don't have to answer me now, or tomorrow or for the next month even. Can you just think about it please? I don't want to spend another second without you, but I understand if that's what you want. I will completely respect your decision."

My jaw drops and my hand clutches my throat as a way of supporting myself, tears only continue to fall faster and my brain is clouded with everything he's just said and everything that's happened and I can't think straight.

"I..I..I," I mumble, unable to form a proper sentence, "Just go please, I can't do this right now."

"Gabby?" He asks, his eyes afraid and leaking their own tears, he pulls his jacket tighter around himself as if to protect him from my words.

"I don't know!" I yell uncontrollably and my voice catches in my throat, "I don't know if I can forgive you Matt," this is a whisper, a painful whisper for both myself and him.

Matt just nods and nods, as if he can't comprehend what I've just said and turns and walks defeated out of the bar. I sink to the floor in a puddle of my own tears.

_It felt like it was t__he last time I would see him._

And inevitably, the moment I thought I was alone was when the door slammed open again, "Gabby!" Shay yells, worry filling her voice.

I shakily stand to find her concerned face staring right back at me, "Hey, how'd it go?"

She comes round the bar to hug me, "As well as it can. Now we wait. I just saw Casey leave, Kelly's outside talking to him."

I cry into her shoulder as she rocks us gently, "I told him that I wasn't sure if I could forgive him Shay!"

"Aww hunny," she sighs sorrowfully, and then she allows me to cry and cry for god knows how long.

I stand up straight and wipe the tears from my eyes and put a smile on my face, "Nevermind about me. It's time to concentrate on you now and make sure you're okay."

She throws her arm over my shoulder realising I didn't want to talk further about it, and I grab my jacket as she leads me out of the bar, "Calm down Gabby, I'm not pregnant yet."

"Yet," I smirk weakly, but it was something nonetheless.

Kelly was waiting for us in the car as I locked up the bar, and we climbed in and drove off, heading to get some lunch.

* * *

My hands begin to shake as we near the Firehouse the next morning and as the building came in to view I felt my stomach flip.

"I can't wait to see the shiner you've given the whore," Shay grins with excitement, and turns to face me with the look of a mad woman in her eyes.

"Those hormone shots aren't still affecting you, are you?" I smirk back, I had to act normal, I had to act like nothing had happened. Although, that was impossible, by now the whole of Chicago must know that Matt cheated on me, let alone the House itself.

And then she sighs, the grin drooping into a frown, "Are you sure you're gonna be okay?"

I weakly smile, "Yeah, I'll be fine," to be honest, I didn't believe myself let alone expect someone else too but life had to go on and I had a job to do.

As Kelly pulled our bags out of the trunk, I didn't fail to notice that Matt's truck was already here.

"Come on," Shay worms her arm in mine and pulls me towards the House, "You've got nothing to be ashamed of!"

Kelly nudges me as he walks beside us, "Except that fall down the stairs this morning, that _was _pretty embarrassing," and the big smirk he had on his face added a little cheer to the day.

"But I fell with style Kelly Severide, something you will never have," I joke back and wink.

"Oh," he fakes injury as he tries to mask his ever-growing grin, "Low blow Dawson!"

By this time we had walked into the garage and I was met with weird faces and sympathetic smiles like my dog had just died or something, I awkwardly smile and make a beeline for the locker room so I could hide for a few moments, and get away from the already overwhelming sympathy.

_I just wanted everyone to be normal, was that too much to ask for?_

I quickly change and pull my hair up in a ponytail and head out to the break room, hoping that at least Mouch would treat me normally. I was secretly glad that neither Matt nor Roxanne were in the break room, but worried at the fact too.

"Morning Mouch," I greet and sit down beside him, as per usual football was gracing our screen, _at least some things never change._ Pouch jumped up beside me and I smoothed her fur as I mumbled, "Morning girl, hey yeah, that's enough kisses for one day Pouch."

"Dawson," Mouch replied, well we were off to a good start at least, he hadn't started playing Mariah Carey just yet.

"Isn't Mills in yet? I'm starving," I ask, as I search for the cheerful candidate in his usual post at the oven.

"Nope," Mouch sighs, a tone of complaint in his voice as if he was hungry too, "Doctors appointment. He'll be in soon."

Well, at least Mouch was still Mouch and was still treating me like he usually did, not like some psychiatric patient who'd just escaped from prison or something.

I jump up and Pouch follows at my feet as if she could tell I was heading for the kitchen, "It's been a while since I've used this," I mumble to myself as I kneel to turn on the oven.

"Hmm, now what shall we make huh Pouch?" I ask the pooch who was sniffing around the fridge as I opened it, she barked in appreciation as I pulled out some bacon.

I pull out my cell and dial Peter Mills' number after planning on what to make and finding out we didn't have some ingredients here, "Peter Mills, have you finished at the doctors?"

_"Dawson? Yeah, just leaving now, why? Is Chief looking for me? I did tell him..."_

"No, you're fine. Look, I'm trying to make breakfast but we don't have half the things I need here. Can you pick up some flour, peanut butter, chocolate chips and bagels please?"

_"Yeah sure, no problem. You trying to take my job Dawson?"_

"I do indeed think that you took mine, _Candidate_. Oh, and eggs, like lots of eggs please?"

_"Got it, you cooking up a buffet or something?"_

"I like to cook, now get going. I'm timing you."

_"Sure thing chef!"_

"Oh god."

Shay's exclamation of shock and uneasiness made Herrmann, Mouch, Cruz, Kelly and I snap up and stare at her. She's staring directly at me, with a look of concern on her face.

I sigh and place down the mixer, "Oh what now?"

"You're cooking," she states, as if it was gospel. Somehow, the others look around and are not as completely confused as I was, as if they knew what she meant.

"Yes, and your point is?" My eyes roll as she walks towards me. The others pretend to go about their business, but it wasn't as if anything was a secret in this House, so they were 'conspicuously' listening.

"A banquet as it seems," Shay says, as she observes the many ingredients and utensils on the worktop.

"Well we do have a whole House to feed," I answer with irritation in my voice.

"Do you remember when the union first slapped your wrist for punching your teacher when he told you to 'go make him a sandwich'?" Her eyebrow raises.

"Damn straight did I punch him," I smirk, remembering his black eye.

"And the time when Antonio said he was moving away to New York?"

I sigh, I could see where she was going with this, "And when you lost you're virginity?"

"Shay!" I hiss, when the guys snicker under their breaths.

"What did you do?"

I pointed to the oven.

"Exactly, you cooked and you baked and you cooked some more."

"And that's so bad because?" I motion my hands in a way of saying 'I get it Shay.'

"Okay, I get it. It's a coping mechanisation, just don't bottle it all up okay? And share the grub," she grins as she snatches a piece of bacon.

I swat her hand away, "I'm nearly ready! Go see if Peter Mills is here, he's got my bagels!"

* * *

"Dawson, what are you doing?" Mouch asks, his tone of voice and expression both confused and bewildered.

I stop what I was doing and almost gingerly look up at him, "Picking the chocolate chips out of my muffin..."

Everyone else had since dug into my bacon and egg bagels and my peanut butter and chocolate muffins, with groans of appreciation. All that was left was a few crumbs scattering their plates.

His glasses slip to the edge of his nose but he doesn't move them, I can clearly see his eyebrows raise, "I can see that, _why_ is the more appropriate question."

"I have to eat it like this," I state, not seeing much wrong with it.

"That's just weird Dawson, just eat it," Herrmann rasps, taking a massive bite of his muffin as if to prove his point.

"Oh sssh you, I think I've got OCD okay?" I exclaim sticking out my tongue, continuing to pick out the chocolate chips.

"Well, that doesn't sound good does it?" Her squeaky little voice bounced off the walls and sounded like nails on a chalkboard to me. My head snaps up from the desk, and I'm met with her standing in the walkway, her bags slung on her shoulder and dismissal papers in her hand. She was being transferred.

I glare at her as my eyebrow raises, "I suppose anything is better than herpes isn't it, Roxanne?" I feel myself inwardly smirk at the light bruise on her jaw.

I hear Shay snicker behind me and Roxanne clenches her jaw, "You got me transferred didn't you?"

My eyes roll at her accusing tone, "No I didn't, I think you did that."

"You talked to Boden didn't you? You wanted me out-of-the-way."

I slam my plate on the table and push my chair back as I stomp towards her, "I talked to Boden _last_ week, when you let that guy _die_. You can't handle the job, _that's_ why you're going, not because you're a slut. I agreed to give you one more week and then it was Boden's decision. So don't start throwing around accusations that you can't back up, okay?"

She's smirks wickedly seemingly unphased by my outburst, "You keep a good home Gabby, comfy, cosy..."

My entire body stiffens and my fist clenches, _how could he?_ I step forward so our faces were an inch apart, my fist itches in my hand, it moves to raise.

A flash of fear passes through her eyes and I tense my fist still, "You know what, you're not worth it. Now go, before I change my mind about dropping your ass."

She stares at me for a second before her mouth bobs to speak again, but the sharp angry glare in my eye told her not to push it and she scrambles out of the door.

When I turn around I'm met with Shay's sad eyes and behind her was Chief Boden and Matt staring at me, "Dawson? With me," Chief calls, and I follow behind him not meeting Matt's eyes as I pass.

I shut the door and immediately ramble, "Look Chief, I'm sorry for what just happened there, I just..."

"Gabriela," he says sternly, standing in front of me to stop my rambling, "I want you to take the day off and calm down."

My mouth drops open, "Chief with all do respect-"

He places his hands on my arms and his eyes turn sympathetic, "I know what has happened between you and Casey and Gabriela I am very sorry for you, but I need you to be calm and focused. Right now I think it would be best if you take the day to think and come back next shift with a clear head."

_But I want to be here, I need to be here. _

But I knew there was no arguing with him and with sadness and anger my eyes tear up, "Okay Chief, I understand. Thank you," I mumble and swiftly leave to collect my things.

I finally let the tears escape my eyes as I bang my head against my locker with frustration and anger, "Aww hunny."

I feel her arm slide over my shoulder and pull me from the locker and into her arms, "He took her home Shay, he took her to _our_ home."

Her sigh tickles my ear, "Gab, I really don't think he did. When I went to your house yesterday he was in pieces, and as much as I think he's an asshole I believe him when he says he was alone."

"What do you mean?"

"I just asked him was Roxanne there and he said no. He got upset and I believe him."

I try to push past her but she holds me tight, "I want to talk to him Shay."

A tear escapes her eyes as she holds my cheeks to keep me looking at her eyes, they were firm, caring and sympathetic, "Not right now sweetie - you're too upset."

"Shay, please..." I beg and she shakes her head softly.

Now reasoning comes into her eyes and she knows that I'll listen to her, "What if he comes over after shift and you can talk to him then? Remember Gab, he did cheat on you."

"I know Shay," I cry and she rubs the tears from my eyes, "But I just need to talk to him, I need to do something about this."

"Oh and go Gabby on it, I know you're just dying for it," she jokes lightly and grabs my bag from the bench, "Come on, I'll see if Kelly can take you home."

* * *

Kelly drops me at the apartment block with a quick hug to comfort me as he drives away, and I stumble into the apartment with tears clouding my vision. I was sick of crying, sick of caring, sick of loving but I couldn't stop neither one of them.

I wasn't sure where the hours went but somehow 9 o'clock rolled around after hours of screaming and crying, and I felt so helpless, so out of control and I wasn't at all comfortable with it. I was always in control, always focused but now I was a mess. My head was processing thoughts so fast that I couldn't even comprehend them myself, and everything seemed to pass as one big blur of pain and unhappiness.

At 9:30pm I began to feel restless and after answering Shay's text with '_I'm fine, don't worry about me, see you tomorrow,' _I rush out the door and into the cool Chicago night.

I entered the first bar I came to as I walked through the streets, itching for some liquid comfort. I take a seat at the bar and the young brown-haired barman swoops up towards me, "What would you like, miss?" He chimes, a cheerful tone to his voice.

"Vodka shot please," I ask, and he dives away to get it.

I notice a couple, a blonde haired man and a brown-haired woman, kissing and caressing each other in the corner of the bar.

"Make it a double!" I call to the barman and he nods, catering to my request.

* * *

_"Hey miss," the barman calls, "Do you want me to call you a cab home?"_

_"No," I snap, "And why would you want to do that? I'm having fun, lighten up will you."_

_Through a blurred vision I notice that it was 1:40am and Shay had finished her shift almost two hours ago, "Yay! Shay can join us now! Bottom's up!" I sing, gulping down another beer. _

_"Oh yeah?" The barman smirks, "And who's Shay?"_

_"Wonderwoman! Because she's always there, and she never lets me down. She loves me, unlike some people I know. And she's loyal! Yep, Shay is like a labrador! A blonde labrador!"_

_I tug the guys shirt to pull him towards me, his eyes glint with humor, "Do you have a labrador in your life barman?"_

_"Nope," he grins, his boyish looks were cute and everything I needed right now, "But I'm looking for one."_

_"Do you want to kiss me barman?" I ask, with liquid courage. _

_He sighs and tugs my hand off his shirt, "I could never do that to you miss. You're too drunk."_

_"Then get me another beer please."_

* * *

_"Miss, it's almost 3am, are you sure I can't call someone for you."_

_"No," I snap again, "My labrador will be here soon and besides I'm having too much fun! Look at me go!" I yelp, spinning around multiple times on the twisting stools._

_"So tell me," he calls over the loud music, "What's a lovely young woman like you doing here alone?"_

_I slam my beer down on the counter and it sloshes everywhere, "Because my boyfriend is a cheating toe-rag that's why! Men, I hate them. Accept for you of course, and Kelly and Chief and Dad and Herrmann and Mouch and everyone else. Yep, it's just him I hate. Hate! Hate! Hate!"_

_"It sounds like you love him miss," he smirks and he wipes a glass clean. _

_I point my finger at him accusingly, "The line between love and hate is very close barman... and blurry," I comment as my vision is fuzzy once more. _

_"Miss, you're really drunk," he quips, seemingly quite concerned._

_"No, I'm not! Look, I can walk in a straight line," I state, and attempt to demonstrate and succeed for a second, before I trip over my own feet and have to steady myself against the bar. _

_"Oopsie," I giggle and seat myself again, "Okay, so perhaps I am a little drunk..."_

_"I agree miss," he answers and places a glass in front of me._

_"That best be vodka," I accuse as I glare at the clear liquid. _

_His blurry brows raise, "You need to sober up miss."_

_"I'm done with being sober! Sober hurts! Drunk is fun! SEE!" I yell as I spin on the twisting stools again and almost fall off it. _

_"Gabby?" Her shocked voice comes out of nowhere and when I finally find her in the crowd, there's three Shay's, three Kelly's and three Matt's._

_"SHAY! Barman, seeeee, I told you the labrador was coming! Barman, labrador. Labrador, barman," I introduce, waving from one person to the other._

_"Aawh hunny, come on let's get you home," Shay's soothing voice irritated me as she tried to pull me from my seat._

_"I don't wanna go home," I pouted and stayed firmly planted in the stool._

_"It's what's best," Shay said again and this only irritated me further._

_"Why does everyone think they know what's best for me huh? I just want to drink and stop being so sad all the time!" I yell and start to cry._

_She puts her arm around my shoulders and guides me towards the door, "I know you do sweetie, I know."_

_Shay sits in the back with me as Kelly drives and Matt sits in the passenger seat. She cradles me to her chest, "Shay?"_

_"Yeah Gabs?" She hums softly._

_"You won't ever leave me will you? You won't hurt me will you?"_

_"No hunny, I won't, I promise."_


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys! I am ever so sorry for the wait but I hope this chapter makes it up to you!**

**Enjoy! **

**And oh! If there is anything you'd like to see, or an idea, feel free to message me or leave it in a review!:)**

**oxoxoxox**

* * *

**(SHAY POV)**

"Oh god. Remind me to never do that again," Gabby groans as she rests her head against the sink, after throwing up multiple times in the toilet.

I brush her hair away from her clammy forehead and sigh, "I think you'll remember yourself sweetie."

She clutches at her stomach as I sit opposite her against the door, "I'm so pathetic," she cries, tears swarming down her face.

I move to rock her in my arms, "No Gabby, you're not pathetic. You're just a little lost and fed up of being sad."

It was nearing 6am and we'd spent the night calming Gabby down, only for her to begin crying again when Matt walked into the room. And after the crying ended the vomiting began, and she began to sober up.

"I'm sorry for doing this to you and Kelly. I'll pack my things and go find a motel somewhere-" the brunette whimpers, rubbing roughly at her eyes before I cut her off.

"Don't be so silly girl. You're staying here for as long as you need too. Kelly and I will be here for you always okay? We all get in a bad way sometimes, like when Clarice broke up with me, _you_ were there for me then like I'm here for you now."

She sniffles and the colour begins to return to her face, "I just don't wanna burden you both."

"There is no way you could ever be a burden sweetie, we love you."

"Has he left yet?" Gabby sniffles again, her body tensing at the thought of Matt.

I sigh and tighten my hold on her, "I don't think so, he wants to make sure you're okay."

She snorts disapprovingly and finds the thought ironic, "Yeah, sure he does. His sorry little ass just feels guilty."

"Gab, sweetie, he's worried about you. You were in a state hun."

"And it was all his fucking doing Shay. If he hadn't cheated, hadn't betrayed me, hadn't ripped my heart in two then we wouldn't be here right now." Her voice raises with every word she yells as she worms her way out of my arms and out of the bathroom door, heading for the front door.

"Gab-" I call trying to halt her, but she only cuts me off with her yell.

"I am so sick of crying and caring. I'm sick of thinking that this is all my fault, I'm sick of thinking that I wasn't enough for him Shay! I'm a fucking bitch and a hothead and I'm probably a little crazy, I get jealous and insecure and yeah, maybe I'm not as pretty as she was, but I didn't deserve this! I didn't Shay!"

I move to rush out the front door to follow her but an arm on my wrist halts me, I look up and Kelly is looking down at me, motioning to let Matt follow her instead. As he rushes out behind her I call after him, "You hurt her again and I'll kill you Casey!"

**(GABBY POV)**

Sitting down on the fire-exit stairs I feel my anger dissolve into sadness once more and my body shakes as tears betray my eyes and the chill from the metal causes goosebumps to erupt on my skin. I tuck my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, securing myself in a small ball where I felt a little safer from the pain of the world.

"Gabby?" His voice came out of nowhere and I jump when I realise how close he is standing to me.

"Can't you just leave me alone?" I snap, removing my head from my knees. He ignores my request and sits opposite me on the stairs, watching me intensely with his sharp blue eyes.

He leans his head against the railing and sighs, "I don't think you should be alone right now, do you?"

I roll my eyes and tighten my grip on myself, to keep me away from him, "Oh, and you love that don't you?" I hiss.

"Don't be so stupid Gabby," he replies sharply, but his eyes were tainted with fatigue and concern as he watched me.

"Did you take her home Matt, huh? Was what she said true?" I accuse, my eyes as fiery as the flames he puts out every day.

"She already cost me something in my life that I can't replace, I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice and hurt you even more than I did," Matt answers, his voice, expression and eyes were all sincere and genuine and I couldn't help but believe him.

My voice caught in my throat, "Then why did you in the first place? I've thought of everything but..."

Matt pinches the bridge of his nose roughly and exhales stiffly, "I wish I could give you an answer, I wish I could tell you why but I can't. I didn't know what I was doing until I was doing it. It was a stupid mistake, but it was _my _mistake. You did nothing to excuse what I did, you have nothing to be insecure about because it was all me Gabby - I was at fault."

"And I saw you with her Matt, at _my_ bar for crying out loud!"

"I know Gabby, I know! I was so fucking selfish and stupid and damn right fucking idiotic because I didn't see what I had until it was gone!"

I push myself up off the wall and start re-climbing the stairs to Shay and Kelly's apartment, "Damn straight you didn't," I hiss bitterly as I pass him.

He snaps up from the stairs and rushes to follow me, "Gabby!" he calls as he pulls on my wrist. I was pulled around to face him and I slammed into his warm hard chest. My eyes snap up to meet his crisp blue ones as his lips roughly take my own. He pushes my body up against the wall and his hands clutch at my waist roughly, and suddenly I feel my own hands run up his back and tug at his hair, gripping it tightly in my hands.

Matt kisses down his jaw quickly and nips at my shoulder as I grind my hips against his own, "Matt, oh..."

My eyes flash open as the memories of him and her flooded my mind, and how similar it felt to us right now, "Matt, stop. I can't, I can't do this."

My muttering causes him stop and he places his hands up against the wall to balance himself, gasping for air. I stroke his cheek softly, "I just need a little longer okay?"

He sighs but nods and allows me to rush back up to the apartment, alone.

* * *

When the next shift rolled around I was a little less wired and tired as I had been before, and I felt much calmer with both myself and Matt. Shay was still a little worried about me, and Kelly too by the way he looked at me, so both kept a close eye on me because neither they nor I wanted a repeat of the other night. When Shay had gone to the store yesterday afternoon and left Kelly and I alone I felt compelled to apologise to him, for breaking an unspoken promise to him.

_"Kelly?" I call as I haul myself down the winding stairs slowly, my head was pounding and my stomach was churning, one awful hangover._

_"In here," he replies from the kitchen and I clamber over, bracing my shaky body against the work-top. There was a glass of water and two aspirin waiting for me. _

_I look up and he's staring down at me, a slight grin on his face, "I knew you'd need them."_

_"Thanks," I whisper back and chug down the aspirin with delight. He grabs his mug and hands me a mug of tea before guiding me to the sofa, helping my achy body down into the soft material. _

_"Thank you," I mumble again, I owed him and Shay everything. _

_"It's no problem, you're no problem," Kelly smiles back and I realise he'd been talking to Shay about what I said to her in the early hours of this morning._

_I blush slightly and hide behind my mug, "You've been talking to Shay huh? I just don't wanna feel like a problem to you both."_

_"Gabs, we care about you, you're not a problem."_

_"I'm sorry," I blurt out, thinking about what Kelly'd said to me on the night he cheated. _

_His face twists into a confused expression, "You asked me not to go off the rails and I did."_

_He half laughs and half frowns, "That doesn't matter, it was kind of expected. I did the same."_

_"With Renee?" I blurt out again, and I watch as the flash of pain swarms through him, but he quickly composes himself, "I'm sorry, again."_

_This time Kelly laughs, "Don't be. I got drunk a lot and blamed myself for a while, until I realised that it wasn't my fault."_

_"Why didn't you ever get back with her? Could you not forgive her?" _

_"I forgave her yes, but I couldn't restart any kind of relationship with her. Even though she wasn't the one I did love her and she betrayed me, so I guess now I'm just waiting to find the right woman."_

_"You'll find her one day Kelly."_

_He smiles softly before asking, "Do you think you can forgive Casey?"_

_I sigh and look into my mug, "I'm...just not sure right now."_

_"Look, I know what he did was a right asshole move, trust me. But he does love you Gabby, and you love him, he's the one for you and you for him. Now I don't think Casey's the type to do that again to you and if he can prove to you that you can trust him, I think you should give him another chance."_

_"But you didn't give Renee another chance."_

_"Because she wasn't the one Gabs."_

* * *

"Dawson? You're working the bar tonight!" Otis calls as I sit at the table finishing up some paperwork that was in desperate need of doing.

My head snaps up at the call of my name, "Good, I'm sick of cleaning up."

He smirks humorously, "Oh come on, you've only done it every night since we've opened..."

I shoot him a faked grin, "Hardy ha ha."

It was nearing two weeks since I had talked with Matt about forgiving him. We hadn't really spoken since, he was giving me some space to figure everything out and I appreciated that, and was comforted by it. I felt like myself again and I felt like I could trust Matt again, and that we could finally move on from this. I was waiting for him to make the first move though, he still needed to say things to me and we still needed to talk.

"Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, building fire on Jepson Avenue."

Everyone snaps up at the call of the alarm and heads off towards their respect vehicles, preparing themselves for another scene of despair.

"Casey, Severide?" the Chief gruffs into his radio. He was standing close enough to Shay and I for us to hear him as we treated our vic, and our own radios allowed us to hear they're replies.

"Yeah Chief?" Kelly calls back; they'd been inside for a while.

"What floor are you on?"

"Top floor Chief, Casey's just got the last vic. On our way down now."

Chief's face pales, "No, smokes black and I doubt the stairs are stable, you won't make it. Mouch! Get that ladder up there!" Another ambulance whisks our vic away as we stay and wait for the guy Matt and Kelly had. My hands were shaking with fear and my throat clenched as I stared up at the building, watching the dark smoke escape and the fiery red flames through the scorched glass. Shay gripped me with her own fear.

"We're in the second window from the right Chief. Hurry, it's gettin' kinda hot in here," Severide's voice rang back, and my head snapped up to the second window from the right, thick black smoke quickly flowing through it and was showing no signs of letting up.

Mouch moved to ladder to sit directly under the open window, Cruz and Mills rushed up and the male victim was handed to Cruz and down to Mills, who carried him down the ladder. Cruz waves his hand to motion for the next one to come out, and it was then did we here their voices over the radio.

"Casey, come on! We gotta' go!" Kelly calls.

"Not until you're clear Severide!" He coughs back; _he was holding back the flames. How many times had I heard this before?_

Kelly slips himself onto the ladder as the blur of another ambulance's siren whizz's past us, when that sound was gone, I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

"Casey run!" Kelly screams, and at the same moment he does a flash of fire explodes through the window. I whimper.

The fire disappears and as the ladder comes back into view again, a third person had been added to it. _Matt. _

"Casey, buddy? You okay?" Kelly calls and pulls Matt's helmet off his head, I heard a cough in reply and sighed in relief. The tense grasp Shay and I had on each other relaxed.

"Yeah, _fuck_, I'm good," he stutters back, and they begin to slowly climb down the ladder. Kelly pulls Matt over to us and he holds out his arm covered in his turnout gear, it had a hole in it. In silence I nod and take his hand, as Shay gives Kelly the quick once over, and sit opposite Matt in the ambo. He slips his jacket off his arm and hisses quietly, I throw him a sympathetic look before tending to the 1st degree burn.

As I wash his burn as gently as I can he hisses again and I clutch his hand, "I'm sorry," I whisper, before I wrap the burn in a wound dressing.

"Don't be," Matt replies softly, and I saw the hidden meaning in our words.

I look down at his arm as I tape the wound dressing, "That should heal nicely," I state, my voice quiet and soft.

"Thank you Gabby," he answers, and my body shivers as my name rolls off his tongue.

I nod in reply and with one last glance at me, he climbs out of the ambo and heads towards the Truck. Soon Shay climbed in with me, and she drove us back to the House.

"I think I've forgiven him Shay...I miss him," I say quietly as I look up to her. I was searching for her approval, or at least her opinion, because she's been my rock for the past couple of weeks.

She takes a deep breath and looks at  
me, her blonde hair swinging with the movement of her head, and she clenches her mouth before she speaks, contemplating what to say, "I know you do hun, but I'm just worried about you. I don't want you to get hurt again."

"He won't hurt me again Shay."

"Hun, you never thought he'd cheat on you but he did," she answers back, a hint of a sharp tone in her voice as she stares at the grey road.

"Look Shay, I know how you feel because I felt the same when Clarice came back, but Matt deserves a second chance. I _need_ him in my life Shay," I sigh quietly, leaning my head against the headrest, I felt so drained.

Shay twists and turns her mouth before sighing and saying, "Okay okay,_ lovebug_, but if he hurts you again I swear I'll kill him myself Gabs," she was serious, and I didn't doubt her. This was Shay we were talking about.

"I'll join you," I huff and she smirks.

"Dawson and Shay, killers/paramedics, will they kill you? Or will they save you?" Shay grins wickedly with a humorous glint in her eye, and I burst out laughing.

"Okay, okay," I giggle, breathless from laughing, "This is creepy Shay."

She cocks her head in a matter-of-fact way, "We're creepy Gabs."

I raise my brow to say 'Touché'.

"WILLIE!" We screeched as we passed our favourite doorman, and I finally felt normal again.

* * *

"Herrmann!" I yell, hoping to catch his attention over the roaring bar and he spins around, looking more than flustered.

"What Dawson?"

"I'm in need of more glasses please!" I shout back, hoping he would hear. He gives me the 'thumbs up' as he heads back into the kitchen.

I finish serving a fast becoming regular called Steve as Herrmann comes behind me with a tray full of clean glasses, "Thanks Chris!" He then helps me with the many customers that had filled Molly's tonight.

"Dawson!" Herrmann calls to catch my attention and my head snaps up in response, "Your three o'clock!"

I turn my head to the East and I'm greeted with Matt's softly smiling face gazing at me. I noticed that something was tucked away in his jacket. Someone tugs at my arm; Herrmann.

He smiles down at me softly, "Go on, we'll handle the bar tonight. Life's too short to waste what you two have," I kiss his cheek and nod and head towards Matt.

Matt takes my hand, warmth flooding my entire body, and he leads us out of the bar. He opens the truck door and motions for me to sit in the cab. My brow burrows when he continues to stand in front of me.

Matt runs his thumb over my jaw, "If I could make what I did to you go away then I would, but I can't so instead I am going to apologise to you for the rest of our lives. I love you so much, and I'm so sorry for what I did Gabby... I spent the last few days making this for you."

His hand digs deep into his jacket and he pulls out a lilac photo album. Inside it read, _for our past, our present and our future, I love you._

I smile and my eyes tear, and when I look up at him his eyes glisten with love.

I turn over the first page; it was a picture of me on my first day at the House standing beside Shay, whose arms were positioned in way of making it look like she was presenting me. Beneath the photo it read, _it was your first day and we all fell in love with you. _

The next was a photo of Shay, Mouch, Herrmann and I on a night out to celebrate me joining the House. I was kissing Mouch's head, and Shay was dancing on Herrmann's back, we were all ridiculously drunk. _We showed you how to the party the 51 way. _

I flicked through slowly, coming across photos of the whole House; every single person I loved was tucked away in these photos. Antonio and his family, Mom and Dad, my 51 family, Matt.

I ran my fingers over the picture of Matt and I standing in my kitchen, _the window was cute, and we couldn't argue with cute. I wanted to be on your hall of fame._

Then the picture of us standing outside of Molly's with the door Matt made for the bar behind us, _it had to be perfect, and it was. It meant so much to you. _

And a picture of when Shay and I got stupidly drunk and started dancing was slotted in, _neither of you could ever handle your drink. _

A photo of Matt and me the day I moved in, _I must have been more excited than you. _

A photo of me standing at the stove in our house dressed only in Matt's shirt, _I guess they always looked better on you than me. _

A picture of Matt surfing, _I was showing off and then I fell in. You laughed all day._

A photo of me sleeping of the sofa with my mouth open and legs sprawled all over the sofa, _I often found you like this and could never resist taking a photo._

And lastly, a photo of Matt and I that I've never seen before. We were at a restaurant with the rest of 51, our heads tilted towards each other, our eyes glistening with love, large smiles on our faces and flushes of pink in our cheeks, _Mouch gave me this photo and told me that he's never seen two people more in love than us. I agree._

I was crying, streams of tears falling down my face, but they were happy tears and I was smiling a blubbery smile.

"Why haven't you filled it?" I ask softly, fingering the empty pages.

Matt kisses my head, "Because we can do that part together. I want you forever Gabby, and so we have forever to finish it."

I nod a few times before placing the album on the seat and standing up before him, I place my hands on his chest, "Forever it is," I smile gently before pressing my lips against his own, relishing in the feeling of him again.

He wraps his hands around my waist and pulls me closer into him, "Come home," he mumbles against my lips, and I detect the vulnerability in his voice, he was afraid he'd lose me. I had forgiven him now.

"I already have," I whisper and touch his lips with my own again, _this was home. _


	17. Chapter 17

_9 months later._

I was Mrs. Gabriela Casey.

Matt had proposed on my birthday, almost a month after we'd gotten back together. On the same day we'd found out Shay was pregnant. The day would forever be etched in my mind.

"_Where is everybody?" I asked Mills as we played cards at the table in the break room. As I looked around the room, no one was in sight, not even in hearing range. Mouch wasn't even in his spot on the sofa. _

_Mills looks at me like a deer caught in the headlights and stutters before saying, "Um, they must be doing something."_

"_Okay," I reply confused and stand up, "Let's go see if we can find them."_

"_No!" He yells grabbing my arm, "Um, they'll be back soon." He motions for me to sit back down and I do, but curiously watch him as we continue to play cards. Mills sits there nervously almost itching in his seat._

_Around half an hour later Mills phone buzzes and he jumps out of his seat with a grin on his face, "Come with me Dawson," he cheers and pulls me out of my seat and towards the garage. As he leads me out the door his hands clasp over my eye._

"_Mills! What are you doing?" I yelp and try to pull his hands off me. _

"_It's okay, you'll see," I could hear the grin in his voice. _

_I heard music playing in the background and when I focused on the noise I realised it was 'Iris', our song. My heart starts to beats a little faster. Suddenly, Mills pulls the elastic out of my hair and it falls on my shoulders._

"_Mills?"_

"_Sssssh, it fits the moment Dawson."_

"_What moment?" _

_He doesn't reply and continues to walk me forward; I start quietly singing along to Iris. _

_Then I can see again and take in the scene before me. _

_Everyone was standing in front of me in a large group smiling widely. Shay looked mad with her crazy grin._

"_Happy birthday!" They all yell and throw confetti at me. Confetti?_

"_Aww guys, thanks!" I smile widely and go about hugging everyone standing around me. _

_And then they start parting, like the Red Sea or something. One by one and slowly they moved and motioned for me to walk through them. Shay pushed me on. _

_And at the end of the Red Sea stood Matt dressed in a crisp blue suit with his large handsome grin plastered on his beautiful face. I felt stupidly underdressed._

"_What are you-?" I smile softly, walking towards him._

_Still grinning he presses a finger to my lips pushing a lock of hair from my face, "I love you baby. And there is nothing more in this world that I want, that I need more than you. You are my life now and I need you in my life forever. And I want to show you that I mean it baby, happy birthday!" Matt kisses me passionately and then there's a flash of light. _

"_Look up!" Everyone behind me calls and when I do, the front of the firehouse was decorated in silver lights saying 'Will you marry me?'_

_My heart is pounding in my chest and happy tears stream down my face, my hands tremble. "Matt?" I whisper softly as I turn around, and find him kneeling on the ground, holding up a beautiful but simple ring. _

_I wipe the tears from my eyes. _

"_I've never felt like this before and the love I feel for you can never be matched. You're the flame that I need in my life. Will you marry me Gabriela?" The words are so meaningful, so loving, so wonderful that my knees almost give out under me. His beautiful face stares up at me and those eyes make me feel like I'd drifted to heaven. My body numbs, but my mind explodes in a fit of emotions. _

_I nod over and over again, "Yes…Matt," I cry as he slips the ring on my finger. He lifts me up into his arms and I wrap my legs around his waist, and as we meet in a powerful kiss cheers erupt around us. _

"_I've never wanted anyone but you," I whisper against his lips as an explosion of balloons fly around us. I look up and see Cruz hanging off the edge of Truck's ladder throwing balloons down at us. _

_Matt and I were passed around from person to person of whom I all cry too as they hug me with a 'Congratulations.'_

"_We all know you're meant to be together and there's nothing more we want than to see you happy. To Matthew and Gabriela!" Chief cheers as Matt and I embrace once again. _

_Shay and Kelly then step before us and both hug us, "We're so happy for you guys."_

"_Thank you," I blubber as I hug Shay tightly. _

"_And I just wanted to tell you that I hope the wedding's soon," Shay smiles and Kelly puts his arm around her, his eyes glistening happily. _

"_Why?" Matt asks softly, watching Kelly's smiling face._

_He places his hand on her stomach._

_My mouth drops open, "I'm pregnant," Shay cries, and I throw myself into her arms, hugging both her and Kelly at the same time. _

"_So yeah," Shay blubbers as we all pull away, "I won't be able to fit in a dress for much longer missy!"_

We married a month later and we've never been so happy in our entire lives. Shay is now a week away from her due date and we're all on the edge of our seats waiting.

"_It's killing me. I can't move! My back aches, my feet are swollen and I simply can't carry the amount of weight I've put on. I need this baby out of me Dawson!" _Shay cries down the phone to me. If there was something Shay was not, it was quiet. Throughout her whole pregnancy we practically went through it with her.

"Aww sweetie, just hang in there. There's not much longer to wait."

"_Waiting! That's another thing that's killing me. You best tell Kelly to hurry home, he has my cookies!"_

I laugh loudly, "I'll tell him Shay. You take care yeah? I'll pop round tomorrow with Matt with plenty of ice-cream okay? Give the bump a kiss from me okay? Love you."

"_Sure thing sweetie. Can't wait to see you! Love you."_

I hang up and head over to the break-room where Kelly was packing up his things, "You best get moving Kelly, a hungry momma is waiting!" Kelly was finishing work for now until Shay gave birth, to be there for her.

His head snaps up to me grinning, "Yes, I have her cookies and I'm going, okay?"

I kiss his cheek, "You take care of her okay? If you need me just-"

"Call," he cuts me off smiling and hugs me back, "I know Gabs. We'll see you guys tomorrow okay?" Kelly nods to Matt and heads off out of the Firehouse, as we call after him, "Lt. Daddy Severide!"

Later on once night had fallen, I was sitting in Matt's office with him as I slowly scribbled over paperwork.

"Boy or girl?" Matt says out of nowhere and I look up at him, brows burrowed.

"The baby, boy or girl?" He says again, rubbing my arm softly as I put my pen down on the table.

"Oh," I mutter, leaning back into my chair with tired eyes, "Boy, definitely boy."

His mouth twists up into a one-sided smirk, "And why is that Mrs. Casey?" From his place on the bed, he pulls me up from my chair and onto his lap all the while his eyes wide with lust.

"Because he kick's like a football player," I answer my breath tight in my throat – he was distracting me with light kisses to my jaw.

Matt's hands run down my sides and rests on my thighs, stroking the skin there, "Hmm, I guess so…"

"Yeah, I guess…" I repeat subconsciously, my head was spinning. One hand wraps around my waist and the other falls further, brushing against my heat.

"Matt," I moan, pushing myself into his hands. He smirks and unbuttoned my button, and I shiver. My whole body ignites with fire and passion.

"_Truck 51, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, 8 car pileup on the highway. Unsure how serious."_

Frowning, he quickly re-buttons my trousers as we head towards our respective vehicles, aching with want but our burning desire to help over ruling that. We pull away from the Firehouse.

My phone rings on the way there, _Kelly._

"_Gabs? Now, don't freak out,"_ he pants, and I heard a groan in the background. A groan of pain.

"Kelly? What is it?" I yell and Mills stares at me confused and worried, panic flashed throughout my body.

"_You're responding to a pileup on the highway aren't you?"_

"Yes, Kelly?!"

"_We're fine. Shay's fine, but we're in that crash. I was taking her to the hospital, Gabs, her waters have broken."_

I tremble, "Put her on the phone!" I order quickly and he hands over to Shay.

"_Gabby?"_

"I'm here sweetie. How far apart are your contractions?" Mills head snaps up to me and I mouth that they're in the crash and he needs to tell the rest of the guys.

"_Ten minutes at best. I'm not gonna make it to the hospital Gabby."_

"We're nearly there Shay, you hear me? Hold on, deep breaths okay."

"_Aarrgh, I need you Gabs. I need you here."_

"I'm coming, sweetie. Now stay on the line with me okay? I'll be right back."

I don't wait to hear her reply before I pick up the radio, "Shay's in this crash on the highway. Her waters have broken and contractions are ten minutes apart."

"_What? Are they okay?"_

"From what I can tell, I'm gonna need a clear view to their car. You'll have to let Engine and other stations to sort out the rest."

"_Got it Gabby," _Matt answers as we pull up at the scene. Peter and I grab our things and head over to Kelly's car. I could hear Shay screaming.

"We're here hunny, just hold on!" I yell over to her, as Matt and the guys begin to pull the other cars out-of-the-way.

"Hold on? How am I meant to hold on?!" Shay's high-pitched shriek echoes throughout the scene and I watch as Kelly strokes her head. Within the next few minutes I had clear access to their car.

I assessed Shay and the baby, both were fine, heart rate was stable, so was blood pressure, the dire problem was that Shay was about to give birth on the highway.

"Right, Kelly!" I call as he sits in the driver's seat flustered and worried, his head snaps up, his eyes wild with concern. "Get behind Shay, support her," I order and then I turn to Shay, a softer tone in my voice, "I'm gonna see how much your dilated okay?"

She nods furiously, her face red and sweaty; I brushed her damp hair out of her face, and her eyes clench with another contraction.

Matt looks at me, asking was she gonna make it to the hospital, I shake my head, "I'm gonna need blankets, lots of blankets! Anything to keep Shay and the baby warm. Mills, I'm gonna need you on standby."

"We're doing this here?" He exclaims, his voice showing his shock.

I nod, "No choice. She's almost fully dilated, we won't make it to Lakeshore."

"GABBY!" Shay screams, "I can't do this, I can't!"

"Hey, hey!" I shout over her voice as the guys had returned with anything they could find and stayed, watching in the background. "Leslie Elizabeth Shay, you look at me. You _can _do this and you will okay? Kelly's here, I'm here, you're not alone okay. Now deep breaths."

Kelly pats down her hair and whispers sweet nothings in her ear as he encourages her to take deep slow breathes, "Yes, just like you've been taught," I say softly, and watch as Kelly calms her.

"Shay, sweetie?"

Her bright blue eyes snap up to meet mine, a slight panic there but definite excitement, "Yeah?" she breathes, her cheeks flushed pink.

I place my hand on her knee, "When the next contraction hits I need you to push okay? Can you do that?"

As I say this Kelly slips his hands in hers and she grasps on to them tightly, "Okay, push. I can push."

"That's my girl," I smile and Shay's body tenses with a powerful contraction, "Shay, push!"

Shay yelps as she tenses and pushes and the baby's head appears, "That's it. I can see the head Shay. You're doing great hunny!"

She pushes again with her next contraction and screams, "No more, I can't do it!"

"Shay!" I bark to stop her rambling and for her to focus on me, "You're nearly there. One last big push okay? And then you're little baby boy is here Leslie. I know you can do this."

Shay nods and Kelly kisses her head as she pushes again, and for the last time, as I cradled baby Jack in my arms. I wrap him in a blanket and listen to his sweet cries and Shay and Kelly cry happily. "You did it Leslie... Hey, baby Jack, say hello to your momma," I coo as I gently lift Jack into Shay's arms.

The whole world seemed to clap and cheer and whoo around us and I began crying because I was so overwhelmed as I watched Shay and Kelly cradle their little boy.

"He's perfect..." Shay chokes on her words as she presses her lips to his head and Kelly kisses her, "I love you sweetheart," she murmurs into his fluffy black hair, _his dad's hair,_ and the world erupts into cheers once more.

* * *

"How's mom and baby?" Chief asks as I almost skip into the waiting room which was full with Firehouse 51, after spending some time with Shay, Kelly and baby Jack.

I smile widely, "Both are doing great. Released tomorrow morning," and Matt takes me into his arms smiling as widely as me.

"Great news," Chief grins as the guys cheer and clap once more.

I tug at Matt's hand, "Would you like to meet little Jack? Shay asked me to bring you in?"

His eyes soften and melt me as he follows excitedly, "Of course I would."

As we walk into the room, Kelly was cradling Jack rocking him slightly as Shay gazed at them, exhausted but overjoyed, a loving smile on her face. _Her two best boys. _

Matt kisses Shay's head, "You did great Shay," with a smile and she looks up at him, a silly look on her face, "Oh I know."

I head over to Kelly and hold out my arms, "May I have a cuddle please?" Kelly grins and kisses Jack's head before gently passing him into my arms. I use a finger to stroke his hand, feeling his silky smooth skin, cooing "Hello sweetheart, you're one lucky little boy."

His little nose was Shay's and definitely his mouth too, we also thought he took after Shay's eye colour, but he was definitely Kelly's boy, a little image of him.

"Perfect little combination of you mom and dad..." I murmur, rocking him gently in my arms and as I look up Matt was gazing at me lovingly, a look in his eye I recognised, a want and a need. A pure love. Pure adoration.

I smile softly at him as Shay says, "Stop hogging the baby, let him meet Uncle Matt..." she orders and I laugh at her words, slowly crossing the room to hand Jack over to Matt. And once I had I was sure I had the same look in my eye as he had just now, because there was no more perfect sight that watching Matt's face light up as he cradled the baby, a wonderous look on his beautiful face.

"Thank god you take after your mom," Matt chuckles softly, as baby Jack clutches to Matt's finger with his tiny hand, a perfect sight.

"Hey," Kelly scolds gently as he cuddles up to Shay's side, watching Matt with a smile. Nobody could stop smiling.

And we probably never would.


End file.
